23 March 05
James from Bath sent me a book, but, two weeks ago, the prison didn't want to give it to me.
"SuicideGirls," the property officer said, "is probably being held because of its title. We don’t want inmates getting suicidal ideas do we?”
Then, last week, after the book had passed the censors, I was called back to Property to pick it up, and the property officer said, “Don’t be showin’ the inmates this book. They’ll want to dress up like the girls in there, and we have enough of that going on as it is.”
From Property, I hurried back to my cell. I opened the book and what did I see? Stylish pics of goth-punks - tattooed, pierced, collared, and lingerie-clad.
I read some of the journal entries. I sympathised with SG Al whose “head feels old and tired when reading Kant”. Don’t worry Al, what you experienced is a normal reaction. When I was in
the Madison Street jail I often fantasized about destroying Kant’s Critique Of Pure Reason. I wanted to lob the book against the wall, stomp on it, tear the pages out and flush them down the toilet. Kant should have heeded Descartes first condition of infallibility: ideas must be clear.
SG Lola likes to eat curry and listen to Aphex Twin - two things that I enjoyed in my past life. Indian buffets were my daily breakfast, and my friend, DJ Sketchnician, used to entertain me with the Aphex Twin video with the creepy midgets in it. SG Sicily wrote:"...my plants have all died and my cat ran away in search of food… I no longer eat, nor drink water and sleep is wholly unnecessary. I think I am slowly acquiring super-powers due to my extreme abstinence…”
Other than the woman-on-woman photos, which were all superb, my favourite shot was Mane sporting a blonde mohawk, a dog collar and fishnet stockings.
The brain behind the SGs is Missy Suicide. She has used the Internet to circumvent conventional channels, thus helping prevent the total Hollywoodization of womankind. Baywatch babes may be beautiful but so are the SGs.
The inmates are lining up to see the book.
Good lookin’ out, James from Bath!
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