6 Feb 05
Anal Virginity Threats: Glory Hole
(Threat level: moderate) Warning: Sexually Explicit
This week George came on strong. Picture him - stout, soft-spoken, silver-haired, and in his late forties. Out of nowhere, in a voice reminiscent of Monty Python member impersonating a woman, George said, "Jon's too shy to get oral sex. Jon's too inhibited to get his willy played with by another man. Oh, no! What if the Queen of England were to find out that a man had been fiddling with Jon's Prince William."
"Inhibited? Shy? I'm too heterosexual, is what you mean?"
George's voice returned to normal, "You're too homophobic."
"Nonsense, I have loads of gay friends."
"Then you're confused. There's nobody that's one-hundred-percent heterosexual or homosexual. There's only varying degrees of the whole range of sexuality."
"Oh yes, how do you know that?"
"Humans are curious about sex."
"All of them, about all kinds of sex?"
"Everyone of 'em. If you took away people's inhibitions there'd be a lot of bisexuals."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Look at the Sixties, free love. One minute you're going down on a vagina and the next minute there's a penis in your face and you're just going to town on it."
"If you're going down on a vagina how can you be performing fellatio at the same time?"
"Because its an orgy. You're just rollin' around from person to person without a care in the world."
"Maybe at your house!"
"Why do you think that voyeurism is so popular?"
"You tell me."
"Because the people being watched are uninhibited."
"You just want more bisexuals to feast upon!"
"I want people to be less inhibited."
"So they'll have sex with you?"
"Surely you've been near a penis at some point of your life?"
"Not even peeing contests or circle jerks?" (Communal adolescent masturbation sessions.)
"I helped put a fire out one night by peeing on it."
"See, you have had a penis near you!"
"Putting a fire out is not a sexual act."
"Peeing on fires jointly is, okay, Jon. It's male bonding, camaraderie."
"But it wasn't sexual!"
"So you've never cruised for love?"
"Don't you think that if it didn't have social stigma you would do anything that feels good?'
"Such as letting you suck my dick? Is that where this is heading?"
"I say if it feels good, let it happen."
"Ha, ha! You are a fiend."
"Let me ask you this then: if you stick your dick into a glory hole [a hole through which fellatio is performed anonymously] and you didn't know if it was a man or a woman sucking on it, what difference would receiving the pleasure make?"
"I've never used a glory hole."
"You wouldn't know then, but in my opinion, a man would do a better job."
"No, I wouldn't know."
"But you agree that they'd both feel good right?"
"That's a tie down. You're asking me a question to solicit a yes answer?"
"You know that they would both feel good," he said, smiling slyly.
"No I don't."
"You need to toss out of the window your preconceived notions of right and wrong. Lose your inhibitions."
"It seems you've beaten me with semantics. I'll grant you that."
"Yah! I won. Now you have to drop your knickers and close your eyes."
"Think about my question again then: if you put your penis in a glory hole and you didn't know if it was a male or a female giving you satisfaction, wouldn't it be equally pleasurable?"
Refusing to answer his question directly, I replied, "I'll write about this conversation and see what my blog readers think. Then I'll find out if you're a madman or not. Perhaps there are people out there acquainted with glory holes, or maybe not."
"I'll leave it at that for now then, shall I?" he asked, looking me up and down.
"Okay. Goodbye," he said and left.
"Ta ta," I shouted after him.
I would appreciate your comments on handling George. Does his argument make sense or not?
Email comments to email@example.com