15 April 05
Anal Virginity Threats: Kenny’s Come-on
(Threat level: moderate)
During a recent yoga session with Popcorn, I was approached by Kenny, who is a rare sight on the rec field. Kenny offered some stretching advice.
After rec, Long Island divulged that he had noticed Kenny ogling my behind when I was bending over to do yoga postures.
The next day, I received a letter from Kenny.
Hi [Jon]! This is Kenny writing from afar. There’s been a lot on my mind that I’ve wanted to share with you for a very long time. At least it feels like a v. long time. I’m not afraid of too many things in this world, and I usually prefer to look someone strait in the eyes when I’m talking about something that means so very much to me, but in this case, I am afraid. I’m scared to hear you tell me (however tactful) that I’m offending you, or that I’ve got no chance in hell, and that’s where I should go, or maybe you’d be kind and say “…we can still be friends.”
Rejection scares me when it comes from someone I admire [Jon] you know I’m gay, and until you tell me otherwise, I have to assume you are strait. But for so long now, ever since I first seen you; first heard the sound of your voice, I’ve wanted to be closer than just a friendly acquaintance. You are sooo handsome to me, and intelligent, and rather self confident-a strong man. You have all the things I admire - most, anyway since I’ve never seen you with less than shorts on!! Yes [Jon], you know where this is going. I want you to read this - keep it to just you and me. Please do not betray my trust/secrecy. Even though people know I’m gay, I do not want anyone to know who I have feelings for, and I do not want anyone to know who I ‘get together with, when, where, or what exactly happens between myself and a guy that’s willing to give me a chance to show him excellent pleasures. I’ve been gay since about 12 years old, and I love myself just the way I am. When someone strait trys to understand, its impossible! Try explaining a colour to someone born blind.
Being in prison for years on end, without the sexual pleasures of a woman, leaves most men frustrated and left with what they feel is no alternative than to fantasize with some long-ago fantasy and a magazine in the company of their own right hand. That gets old after years and years.
To finally decide to give a guy like me a chance to do the very same things (most things) a woman can do leaves a guy realizing he should have let me please him long ago.
[Jon], someday, somehow, I would really love to get together with you. I’ve admired you for so long. And when I watched you do that yoga, in all those positions, all I could do was dream of how wonderful it would be, to be with you, in a room, just you and me, in total privacy….
Since being with you would be our ‘first time’, its best, if you would give me a chance, to go slow, and show you what I can do for you a lttle at a time. When you were out there doing that yoga, and the morning sunrise made all that hair on your legs shine - as I watched you from a distance, I imagined how fine you must look if you were with me and….
This would be our secret. And the things written here are our secret too. Please do not betray my trust. This is no work of fiction. Return this to me. If you would ever want this to hapen, you know where I live, and the thing to do, is to come over here when everyone goes to rec. [Jon], in the privacy of my room, there is nothing (nearly so) I would not do to please you. I have other fantasies too. If you wish, I will write them in my next letter.
How do you feel about Kenny’s approach? What should I tell him that won't hurt his feelings?
Cheers! Jon
Well, Kenny's is the by far the most articulate yet and the sweetest. I'd say it is too bad you aren't disposed in such a direction, he seems like the first one to fall in the category of "worth the time and fear".
ReplyDeleteThat being said, hey, if you're hetero you're hetero and just be nice about it but firm about it.
Oh, and it will save you angst in the long run if you prevent any touching with those who do or may have a crush on you. Touching will only plant seeds of confusion, in one or both of you.
-Anonymous Bisexual
Kenny sounds like a real sweetheart and seems to have genuine feelings for you. Unfortunately it's impossible to go through life without hurting someone at some point. Rejecting someone you like can be painful for both parties but you can ease the situation by being honest and straightforward, which you have been.
ReplyDeleteIt's very easy to think that now you've told him you're straight, everything is clear and you can relax and carry on just being friends, but remember that Kenny will always be hoping deep down that you'll change your mind and you need to be sensitive to this. Having said that, if Kenny values your friendship then he will respect your position and not put you under any pressure.
As for avoiding these situations in the future...well sometimes you can't. You have no control over others' feelings or how they construe your actions toward them, whether that be through touch, words or even just an innocent glance in their direction. I've read your blogg regularly since I first saw it in the Guardian and you seem to be a sensitive and caring man with a high level of emotional intelligence who instinctively knows the right thing to do.
Jon,
ReplyDeleteIf i were you i'd be more wary of Kenny's approach than that of any other. I think there's an element of "lull you into a false sense of security before seizing the opportunity to puncture your sphincter".
At least you know where you are with your other admirers; they know what they want and they tell you, often in graphic detail! This guy is trying a different approach...resourceful yes, but trustworthy - who knows.
Or maybe im just a paranoid android :)
Either way, sit tight buddy, it'll all be over soon :)
Tee - UK
Kenny does not seem as deluded as Frankie but he seems as if he could be very sensitive. He is honest. Give him respect and try not to be condescending, at the same time don't encourage him. You seem able to handle things. A little humour helps, but you obviously know him better and where and when to apply it. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteT Bates
wear trousers ?
ReplyDelete