12 November 05

Question Time With Ogre

Alba asked if the conflict over my Cheerios between Ogre and Druid was resolved?

Just when it was looking as if there would be bloodshed over my cereal, the move from Buckeye to Tucson occurred, and now I no longer have breakfast with Druid or Ogre.
Yard 4 is split into four buildings: A,B,C, and D. Other than early-outs lunch, or when there are poor chow turnouts such as spaghetti nights, A eats with B and C eats with D.

I live in D. Ogre lives in A and Druid is in B, but they do not sit together or talk to each other. I usually sit with Shane and Weird Al , and sometimes with Xena. Presently, Weird Al is the beneficiary of my cereal.

JC asked why Ogre is in prison. I put the question to Ogre and he revealed the following about accidentally stabbing his wife:

“How did the accidental stabbing of your wife occur?”
“I’d been up for days on tweak [crystal meth] workin’ on my boat. I was on my bed, naked except for a towel wrapped around me, cleanin’ my nails, when some of my wife’s friends stopped by to buy a couple of ounces of dope. The dope was hidden in my boat, and I didn’t really wanna get it, so my wife started yellin’ at me, ‘If it was your fuckin’ friends you’d be out there by now!’ So I said, ‘Fuck you bitch’ and threw my Gerber knife at the dresser, but it missed and stuck in the side of her knee through her pants. She pulled it out, and there was a little fingernail-size hole. It was gushing blood, and a little bit of meat came out. I pushed it back in, and we had fun making butterfly stitches. Her friends buyin' the dope wanted to call the cops, but my wife said she was alright, and we partied all night long. That was on April the 11th, 2003 in Lake Havasu.

After that I thought everythin’ was all good. We took a trip to L.A. with her daughter because I was gonna donate a kidney to Brian Davidson – the owner of Hot Boat Magazine – and they had to run tests on my blood at Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills. We did more dope and then took off for L.A. I missed the appointment, so we stayed the weekend, and I gave seventeen vials of blood on Monday. By now I hadn’t slept for a week, and I’m fucked up worse because of losing so much blood, and my wife hadn’t slept, and we get in a fight over Taco Bell.
Her kid wants to go to Taco Bell, and there’s no Taco Bell in Beverly Hills. The kid's in the back screamin’. I’m tryin’ to drive, and my wife attacks me, so I stopped, grabbed her, and threw her out of the truck, but she gets back in. Shit just got crazier after that. I’m drivin’ home, my wife’s flippin’ out, and I start hallucinatin’. The first troll I saw - "
“Troll?” I said.
“Yeah, troll. Look, it’s made my nipples hard just thinkin’ about it. The first troll was at the side of the road, puttin’ a chain on a bicycle, goin’ he-he-he-he. It was an evil little bastard.”
“What did the troll look like?”
“About two foot tall, wearin’ a green flannel jacket, with long brown hair.
Drivin’ home the trolls started rippin’ up those yellow lines that are painted on the roads – tryin’ to trip my truck up.
Back in Lake Havasu, there’s trolls everywhere, destroyin’ cars, and I imagined – it seemed real at the time – that our neighbours were screaming and yellin’ at the trolls.
My wife took off. I went lookin’ for her at her dad’s house, and he called the cops. I was seein’ trolls everywhere. I hadn’t slept for over a week by now.
I’m drivin’ home past a cop. He looks at me, hits his lights and does a felony stop. ‘Driver, pull the keys out, put your hands in the air’ – all that shit. I asked him why I was being arrested and he said, ‘For assault and battery of your wife.’ I told him, ‘She ain’t chargin’ me, that was over a week ago,’ and he said, ‘She doesn’t have to charge you, her dad did.’
So I got busted for no reason, and she got busted for drugs, and they threatened to take her kid away if she didn’t testify against me, so she did for one and a half hours, and I got sentenced to five years for aggravated assault.
I’ve lost two wonderful marriages because of crystal meth.”

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood


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