8 Nov 06


The Booty Bandit Move that Befell Max in the Kitchen Warehouse


“So what happened in the kitchen warehouse?” I asked Max.
“I was unloadin' a truck with a homosexual named Ronald.”
“What’s he look like?”
“He’s a white guy with long thinnin' hair. He wears those paedophile 2000s, the big wide state-issue prescription glasses. He’s about thirty-seven-years old. He’s got a couple of kids and stuff. There was a little sexual banter goin’ on. He’d say, ‘When are you gonna hit it, Max?’ and, ‘Just let me see it, Max.’ I started puttin’ things away in the warehouse: syrup, paper cups, and oranges. And Ronald says, ‘Come on, Max, let’s go in the room right now. I’m oiled up and ready.’ I’m thinkin’ he’s bullshittin’ 'cause he usually comes on so strong. All in all he’s a cool dude other than he’s playin’ on the other team. I’m walkin’ behind him with a box, and he stops and bends over real quick, so I run into his butt. That’s how the homos work - they always try their hardest to get a straight guy, to turn somebody out. After a few trips, we had to put burgers away in the freezer. There’s a long hall that connects the cooler and the freezer, and you can go in the back door of any of them. In the hallway there’s napkins, paper cups, trays, and all nonperishables. I picked up somethin’ and walked down the hallway. He’s behind me and says, ‘Lemme see it.’ I say, ‘Yeah. Right. Whatever.’ Then, forcefully, with his hands, he pushes me up between some shelves. I’ve still got somethin’ in my hands.”
“Like when Chapo pulled your pants down and grabbed you?”
“Yeah. All weird shit goes down in the kitchen like this. So Ronald pulled my pants down, but he went a little bit further.”
“Ronald was a professional?”
“Yeah. Thing is, after being locked up for so long, and after being through so many situations, I let him do it for about ten seconds.”
“Wow! What went through your mind?”
“I’m thinkin’, OK. It feels good. If only I could get through the fact he’s a man. I looked down at his thinning scalp. I’m starting to get into it. There he is with those glasses on, his head’s bobbin’.”
“Were you getting put off because he was a man?”
“It was a mood killer, I’ll tell you that. Now I’m thinkin’ this ain’t such a bright idea. So I tell him, ‘No. Hey. Hey. Somebody’s comin’.’ He gets up. I rearrange myself. I feel aroused and guilty, dude. I go out and smoke. I’m disgusted with myself 'cause after all my experiences I’ve finally broke down and let a man do that to me. Why couldn’t I have picked one of the more good lookin’ ones, feminine ones, like a cheeto. Know what I mean? He sits right next to me and says, ‘D’yuh wanna hit me in the ass when we go back in?’ I say, ‘No. I’m cool.’ He says, ‘Well come on. Let’s go. I’ll finish you off.’ Ronald goes inside, and I tell a cop I’m feelin’ sick and he lets me go back to my cell. I felt like such a whore 'cause of what I let happen, and I just took off, and he had to unload the whole truck by himself.”

Max said he still feels guilt over what happened with Ronald. Should he feel that way or was he right to give it a try?

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