Iron Man v Snake Eyes (Part 1)

“At Graham County jail up in Safford,” Iron Man said, “they threw me in with the hardcore federal prisoners. It’s a pod-type setting. There’s one big TV at the top of a long hallway. Everyone’s always arguing over the TV. The whites had it every third day, then the blacks, then the Mexicans and Indians.
This one guy showed up. A big dude. Six-one. About two-hundred-and-twenty-five pounds. Half Indian, half Mexican. They called him Snake Eyes. He was always running his mouth about how tough he was and how he could kick so many peoples asses.
I had my own issues. My marriage was crumbling. My business was crumbling. All my equipment and tools were being stolen by fucking tweakers! So I was stressed. The first plea bargain they offered me was twenty years – and I couldn’t believe it ’cause all I did was knock some asshole’s door in that owed me five-hundred dollars, and he’d been dodging me for a month and a half!
Snake Eyes started saying he was gonna watch TV whenever he wanted, and he didn’t care who wanted to watch it, that there were more Mexicans and Indians in the pod than white boys, so they could control the TV any time they wanted. Well, the Superbowl was coming up, so I told him,‘We’re watching the Superbowl on Superbowl Sunday and that’s that.’”
“Was Sunday the white’s TV day?” I asked.
“It was the black’s day and we had an agreement with them.
Snake Eyes said,‘You’ll watch the Superbowl if we let you watch the Superbowl.’ I said,‘No. We will be watching the Superbowl, and that’s that.’
I went and worked out with two buddies I’d made. A white guy comes out and says,‘Hey, Iron Man, I think the Mexicans are gonna jump us when we go back into the pod.’ And I said,‘Let’s go find out right now.’
We go in. Snake Eyes is standing there with ten Mexicans. He says,‘We’re gonna settle this shit right now. We’re gonna fuck you guys up right now.’ He’s trying to pump up all the Mexicans saying,‘Let’s get these white boys.’
Right then I realized it would not turn out well if the four of us had to fight these eleven guys. I felt rage well up in me. Every single bit of rage that had come from everything happening in my life welled up in an instant – the plea bargain, the marriage, my business, all my fucking equipment that I’d invested every single penny I’d saved and could borrow was being stolen by tweakers and now I’ve got this loudmouth blowhard wannabe tough guy trying to get ten Mexicans to beat me and my friends up, so I….”

What would you do next if you were Iron Man?

Click here for Iron Man v Snake Eyes Part 2

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