28 Jan 08

Two Tonys on Jesus Christ (Part 2)

I asked Two Tonys to comment, with an emphasis on prison life, on some quotes of Jesus Christ.

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you….

Howthafuck can a guy love his enemies or bless them in prison? I mean think about it. You’ve gotta bloke over here layin’ awake at night, sharpenin’ his shiv [shank], plannin’ on harmin’ you or robbin’ you or rapin’ you or takin’ what’s yours. How can you love him or bless him? C’mon! You’ve gotta take care of business. You’ve gotta do what needs to be done. Do you honestly think that motherfuckers claimin’ Christianity – like George Bush and Tony Blair – are lovin’ and blessin’ Osama Bin Laden? Or even that the pope is doin’ that? Are they fuck!

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I’m not sure about this one. JC’s speakin’ in metaphors; so, by treasure he’s not referrin’ to gold, Mercedes, or hedge funds. What is treasure? Think about it. It could be sittin’ down at tea time with Mom and Pop and Sis and her new hubby, and enjoyin’ the conversation, everyone’s good health and overall well-being. That’s treasure that you feel inside – where your heart is. Do you think some bloke drivin’ down the Vegas Strip in his five-grand Armani suit, coked-up, with a five-hundred-dollar-an-hour hooker next to him in his Caddy with the top down is rich in the treasure JC’s talkin’ about? Do you think his heart is there? No! His dick is there. His ego is there. His lust is there. He’s havin’ fun and enjoyin’ the moment, but his heart ain’t there. This scripture can be reversed to read: where your heart is, there your treasure will be also.

Judge not, that you not be judged.

Fuck that! I judged and still do so. I don’t wanna hang out with any pieces of shit who’ve harmed kids, beat their wives, raped old ladies, or did any shit like that. I knew of a prisoner who was in for fuckin’ a calf to death. And I’m not supposed to judge him! No. I judge and I can be judged. I can handle my judgement. I’m not perfect. I’ve done bad things. But I can sleep at night and I can look any motherfucker alive in the eye – yeah!

For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

This is a silly one. Whothafuck receives what they ask for? We get shit on so much in prison, there’s a sayin’: ‘You ain’t got nothin’ comin’’ Do you get everythin’ you ask for? Who does? Does Billy Graham? This quote was put together for control of the masses – the great unwashed – years ago, by the priests, the monks, the kings. I’ve read about it. They had what was called scriptoriums, rooms in monastries where they had scribes and monks who wrote shit to keep the mooches and masses in line. The priests thought, Hey, let’s tell this mooch he can come back from the dead and live forever in a mansion in the clouds or maybe have eighty-three virgins. That’s one of the major themes of all these religions: keepin’ the masses in line ’cause we don’t want motherfuckers pickin’ up their pitchforks and tryin’ to jack our shit. Some used Zeus, some Jesus, some Buddha, some Muhammad, some Shiva, some Thor – and we can go on and on since the dawn of early societies. When they were crawlin’ up in those caves at night, somewhere, one of those dudes thought, Hey, maybe I can con some mooches to go hunt today, and I’ll stay back and eat and fuck and lay in the sun. I know, I’ll tell ’em the gods want ’em out there wrestlin’ saber-toothed tigers, and bustin’ their asses while I get to kick it and fuck around with everybody’s daughters. That’s it in a nutshell. It’s nothin’ new. And it’s not gonna end as long as people exist. The strong will take from the weak, but the smart will take from the strong, and the poor unwashed masses will get fucked over. But it don’t matter. Let’s enjoy this ol’ life. I laugh every day. Make the most of it ’cause you’re not here for but a quick minute – and then you die.

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