Rapist on the Yard (by Warrior)

Warrior - Serving fourteen years for kidnapping and aggravated assault. Half Hispanic and Scottish-Irish with family still in Mexico. Raised by a family heavily involved in drug commerce.

“Yo, Warrior! Come over here, homeboy!” said Cane, who was my age, eighteen at the time.
Cane was at a bench with three other guys: Flaco, Gordo, and G.
“G wants to holler atchoo!” Cane said.

G was short for Gilbert, a heavily-tattooed prisoner in his early forties. A man who’d been in the system for a while – what you call an “older number” or a “con.” About average height but his confidence made him seem larger than he was. The typical Mexican stereotype: a thick overgrown mustache past the lips, a bull neck, and long hair slicked back in a braided ponytail. I’d said “Wassup!” to him once or twice.
Everyone knew that G ran the yard for the prison gang that ran the Mexicans. The EME (Mexican Mafia). Nobody wanted to know any more than that. Nobody liked to talk to G either, because if he called you it was for one of two reasons: you messed up real good or did real good in some area. If it was bad, it was usually too late to do anything about it because by the time you realized you messed up, you were usually laying in your own blood from a beat down or a stabbing. So I was nervous as I walked to where they were.

“Wassup, G!” I asked, shaking his hand, then everyone else’s on the bench.
“Hey now. You on the work crew wit Cane and Flaco, que no [right]?” G said.
“Yeah.”
“Cane says you a real good vato [guy] and his road dog. I wanted to get atchoo about a coupla theengz if you don’t mind.”
“Nah. It’s cool, man.”
“Orale, have a seat then.”
Everyone gathered round closer, so no one could hear the conversation except those in the immediate circle.
“How do you feel about helping us out with a problem we got wit a vato?” G had a slow way of talking, yet forceful. He raised a subconscious fear that made you want to say yes to whatever he asked – immediately.
“Sure. No problem. What’s the deal?”
G nodded his head in approval and gave Gordo a look to fill me in on the details.
“A rapist has touched down on the yard, and it needs to be handled,” Gordo said.

Many guards can’t stand rapists as much as inmates, so they’ll tell an inmate, knowing the gossip will climb up the yard chain of command from the lower inmates trying to earn brownie points. Flaco was screwing around with a counselor who had access to a staff computer containing all the information of every prisoner on the yard. She confirmed the gossip.

“I say let me and Warrior stick the fucker, ese [homey],” said Cane who just wanted to stab anyone, he didn’t care who, just to say he’d shanked someone in prison.
At first I was hesitant, but as I thought about my sister, mother, and aunts and the possibility of rape, my reasoning to follow through became clear.
“Nah. We don’t know the details to the case,” Gordo said. “What if it’s some old fucked-up jacket on the vato, like a ruca [woman] that was seventeen and him eighteen and the ruca’s parents pressed charges? I’ve seen that go down.”
“Fuck ‘im. Let’s peel his cap, G,” Flaco said. “His sex score on file is high, loco. It ain’t no seventeen or eighteen jale [work] thing. I seen it.”
Cane looked at me to chime in.
“Hey, whatever you vatos decide, I’ll roll with it,” I said.
G had the final say. He looked in deep thought with his hands clasped together below his nose, yet above his chin. He had a way of revealing a crease in his forehead between his brows when he came to a decision. Everyone was silent, yet listened intently as G was about to make his decision.
“Stick ’im. Flaco, take these two witchoo and make sure the jale gets done.” G was referring to me and Cane.
Flaco and Gordo were older numbers too. They respected G’s call and didn’t question it. Cane was all smiles. He had that sadistic smile only a sociopath can give off.
Yet to develop a conscience, I was OK with the decision. I believed I was doing society a service.
Flaco was to plan everything, but Cane and I wouldn’t know when or who until the day it was to occur. Plans were always kept vague until the day, just in case someone got cold feet and wanted to chicken out by warning a captain or other staff member.

A few days later, I noticed Cane and Flaco walking my way. We’d all just got let out for work detail and I had about twenty minutes to report to my assigned area. I knew it was time by the sadistic smile Cane once again wore so well.
“Wattup, Warrior!” Cane said, shaking my hand.
“Que onda [wassup!], Warrior. Listo [ready]?” Flaco said.
“Simon [yeah]. Let’s do this,” I said.
“Peep this, change of plans,” Flaco said. “G said we ain’t gonna stick the vato. We just gonna beat ’im instead.”
Life has a weird way of changing up on you, or putting up road blocks to keep you safe. If it wasn’t for the change of plan, I would have carried through what I was supposed to do.
“We do this jale all stealth mode,” Flaco said. “His dorm goes to breakfast in a few. The vato stays back to wash up and get ready when everyone’s gone. The chota [guard] will pass the perimeter at that time. We’ll have fifteen minutes, in and out. The fool is Kenny G. I’m gonna keep point [be the lookout] for you two vatos. Got it? Handle that shit right.”
“Got it,” Cane and I answered.

We waited for Kenny G’s dorm to go to chow. The day was humid from the monsoons. My heart was beating fast, my mind racing, my palms sweaty. Flaco stayed outside as we made our move. Cane and I went to Kenny G’s bunk location. He wasn’t there. We went to the community restroom for the dorm. There were four sinks and three toilet stalls. One stall was occupied. Cane turned on one of the sinks as though he were washing up. Then he jumped on a urinal to peek into the occupied stall. He looked down and his sadistic smile said it was Kenny G. He jumped off the stall, motioned to get ready, went to an empty stall, and came out with a wad of toilet paper. He wet it in the sink, jumped back on the urinal and chucked it on Kenny G. I couldn’t help but laugh at his ingenuity.
“Who just did that?” Kenny G said.
As yelling and swearing came from inside the stall, we posted ourselves beside the urinal ready to pounce.
A figure emerged.
Immediately I heard a grotesque crack and Kenny G went down.
I followed through with a punch.
Cane was determined to hurt Kenny G with a combination lock in a sock knotted at one end.
We pummelled Kenny G.
“You need to roll yer shit up, rapo [rapist],” I said.
We left him bloody. We were in and out in less than five and on our way.

The guards found Kenny G, whisked him away to Medical never to return to the yard.
I didn’t feel guilty. He deserved every consequence that comes with being a rapist. I was commended by G and others on the yard for doing a noble service.

Years later, I was in maximum security watching the news on TV. Recognizing a face on the screen, my attention focussed on what was being said. It was Kenny G. Arrested for the rape and murder of a woman. Caught through DNA evidence.
I couldn’t help think, we should have stabbed him that day. Life is weird like that. That’s one moment forever scorched on my memory. Along with the face of the woman he killed.

Is Warrior justified in thinking he should have stabbed Kenny G to death that day?

Click here for Warrior's Epic Fight Story Central Unit

Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below

Copyright © 2007-2008 Shaun P. Attwood

26 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:08 PM

    Shaun,

    What a fascinating perspective your time in jail has granted you.

    I've never understood the attitude that prisoners have about guilt. A lot of these men are still obviously criminals at heart, yet at the same time take pride in punishing other criminals. Is it simply an urge to feel better than someone else? What is the ranking of a thief or a hired killer or a drug dealer? Are some crimes ethically neutral or even commendable to the prison populace?

    Thanks as ever for you effort on the blog. Your mastery of the language has improved greatly, by the way.

    --A. Floyd

    P.S. I hope you came to enjoy Flann O'Brien from the books I had sent to you. He's got a lively group of fans yet remains curiously obscure.

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  2. Anonymous4:13 PM

    Those are prison politics and rules. I think all child molesters and rapists should be dealt with in the appropriate manner. Too bad the system has developed SNY yards to protect them from inmate distributed justice. It all washes out.

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  3. BIG DAWG!!!

    Did you miss me?

    Absolutely he should have been stabbed to death. At the very least castrated.

    In my mind, rape (be it of a child or an adult) is equal too or worse than murder. Rape and sexual abuse effects peoples lives and those of all the prople around them.

    It stays with that person all their life and lasts longer than any sentance handed down to the fucker who commits the crime.

    Life sentances should be handed out for rape of anyone....

    Hugs and kisses,

    Chris H

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  4. Anonymous4:37 AM

    I dunno whether he was justified or not. That whole rape case could've been made up to get Warrior and Cane to do someone else's dirty work. I mean it wasn't, as was shown, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
    Still, a gripping account and very well written.

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  5. I don't know whether he was right or wrong. But I do know that every hair on the back of my neck stood up as I read the last couple of sentances. Chilling.

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  6. JanetyJanet

    No what?

    Chris H

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  7. Loaded question Shaun!!
    This question crosses some boarders for me. First let me say I consider myself a Christian. I try to do the right things-but as everyone else I have a hard time with what is exactly right?! As a human (and a woman) I say "beat the shit out of that F'er, weaken him to a whinny little shit, then when he thinks it is over and he's safe ... finish him!!" (sadistic am I not??) Then after the initial adrenalin wears off and I am not so pissed, I think of the what the good book says: basically we are not to judge (punish, kill or otherwise) anyone-it simply is not our job. BUT then they are already in jail or prison being punished ... so, is it right? Probably not-not any of it. Killing him would have saved someone else's life and who knows how many other (unreported) women he rapped. To me it shows that Warrior is a decent human at heart. He has a a sense of human life. I agree with Chris H that rape needs to carry a life sentence. That surely would overcrowd the overcrowded system now wouldn't it? I don't know if it is right in the eyes of our final Judge but my best answer would be if you believe in something strongly stand by it-that women would have surely benefitted from it. The politics being in the system are far different then out here ... we'll maybe not, maybe just more intense. And complicated. Loaded question Shaun!!

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  8. In all honesty, I couldn't say definitely yes or no-part of me would like to have seen justice meted out by an equivalent force. True predators prey on those they know they can subdue. Justice entails balancing the scales somehow, but in the human world, perfect justice is impossible.

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  9. Anonymous1:43 PM

    I personally know what it feels like to be a victim of a very violent sexual assualt without ellaborating I would like to say NO. It is never okay to hurt another inmate for thier crime. Most people are in prison because the broke a law and should all work on thier own demons. People always assume sex offenders will always be sexual predators and that is unfair and bias. Yes they do have higher rates of reoofending but the number is no where near 100 or even 50 precent.

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  10. Is Warrior justified in thinking he should have stabbed Kenny G to death that day?

    Warrior is justified in thinking whatever Warrior chooses to think ("all feelings are valid" blah, blah, blah).

    I, personally am against the Death Penalty. I do not believe creating more "victims" justifies or vindicates the original murder (be it emotional or physical - rape is both). To kill someone in retaliation: "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

    That being said... had Kenny G's "victims" been armed and left with him in said circumstances... an opportunity to fight back... that's another story altogether.

    Just my .02 cents

    *victim of a pedophile*

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  11. Big Dawg!!

    I think an eye for an eye is more than fair. If you stab someone, you should get stabbed, if you steal something you should have you stuff taken... If you destroy someones life , you should have your life destroyed.

    As for Ghandi's statement about revenge, you'd only lose an eye if you yourself had taken an eye. So surely if you want to follow a statement, you should choose 'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you'. That way you always get what's coming to you....

    Hugs and kisses,

    Chris H

    P.S - Big Dawg, what's YOUR opinion? I notice you've kept quiet so far????

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  12. Some thoughts...I suppose in a perfect world there would be no need for prisons. But assuming the point of incarceration is rehabilitation and restoration-the perpetrator pays for the wrong action and best case scenario experiences true repentence and change of heart, the victim or vic's family gets justice and some recompense for their loss...it seems it takes different things for different people. I was talking with my jail volunteer partner about this-she is dead set against the death penalty-I had just watched the movie "Dead Man Walking". I know one danger of this is possibly condemning the innocent, but in that case it was facing death that brought the freedom for this man-the freedom to finally face his crime. It's a tough, tough thing...and I would have to say with Noelle I'm a Christian, too, and like King David in the scriptures my prayer would be to let me fall into God's hands rather than humans, who have a very skewed and imperfect sense of justice. We don't see the whole picture-we can only do with what we can see.

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  13. I think an eye for an eye is more than fair. If you stab someone, you should get stabbed, if you steal something you should have you stuff taken... If you destroy someones life , you should have your life destroyed.

    Do you?

    Really?

    Answer this Chris:

    What did you do, today?

    How many people did you come in contact with and how many people's day did you make or break, through your actions?

    Holding a door for someone at Wal-Mart, someone who is weak and tired and trying to get home holds AS MUCH WORTH as your life time of doors held open.

    While I understand your sentiments and hear them, daily (and truly believe that is the reason this world is spiraling out of control - but that's just me) I think you get what you give.

    Perhaps you have destroyed a life in as simple as an erroneous, self-righteous comment on a random blog. Hmmmmm? Outrageous (probably)... Possible (probably)

    It's all relevant, and who are we to judge?

    The answer is in "gentle"... the answer is in "love"... the answer is in - oh, what you said: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you"

    Just like I said.

    Blessings.

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  14. Chris,

    It's a moral dilemma. Do situations arise whereby killing is justified and where do you draw the line? If all seven men in a lifeboat will die unless they throw one overboard, is the killing of one of them justified to save the other six? If it could be known for certain that killing Kenny G would have saved women from being murdered and raped, would the murder be justified? But what if Kenny G had reformed in prison and gone on to find a cure for some deadly disease? Warrior didn't know at the time what would become of Kenny G. Also, if Warrior had murdered Kenny G, Warrior could be on death row right now or at least serving life.
    I'm not saying he did or did not do the right thing. I'm just saying we need to consider more angles.

    Shaun

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  15. Rebuttle

    Pixie -

    Explain in what possible way my opinion on a blog could have destroyed someones life? Honestly, I'm all ears on that one.

    Also, I'm not self centred enough to believe that my contact with ANYONE outside my family and friends could ever make or break their day!

    ALSO, can you clarify what your point is on the 'holding a door open' bit? I can't make it clear no matter how many times I re-read it....

    Not having a go at you in any of the above, I just have really really strong feelings about this.

    BIG DAWG!!

    I can respond to your comment using Quantum Leap as an example... the shows just that damn good.

    In the season 2 episode "Another Mother", Sam jumps into a single mother and is there to prevent her teenage son running away, never to be seen again. It turns out that the son wasn't running away but was kidnapped by 2 paeodophiles (think that's correct spelling?).

    Sam saves the day, cos he's cool like that, but just leaves the 2 fucking pervs by the side of the road unconcious......

    At this point, I turn to my wife and say 'If I were there, I'd have kicked them both in the head until they were dead', to which she agreed.

    Seriously, I'd gladly go to prison for life or face the death penalty if it meant that just 1 rapist, murderer, child molester was off the face of this planet. Now that's my opinion. It sounds to me like it's Warriors opinion too.

    Go team!

    Hugs and kisses

    Chris H

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  16. Anonymous5:33 AM

    Chris,

    "No" - as in, that's my answer to Shaun's question

    i.e.
    No, Warrior is not justified in thinking he should have stabbed Kenny G to death that day

    all clear?

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  17. JanetyJanet

    Crystal

    Ta

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  18. Explain in what possible way my opinion on a blog could have destroyed someones life? Honestly, I'm all ears on that one.

    Also, I'm not self centred enough to believe that my contact with ANYONE outside my family and friends could ever make or break their day!

    ALSO, can you clarify what your point is on the 'holding a door open' bit? I can't make it clear no matter how many times I re-read it....


    Absolutely.

    First. Explain in what possible way my opinion on a blog could have destroyed someones life? Honestly, I'm all ears on that one You most probably have not, but you may have. You might want to check your "delivery".

    Secondly. Also, I'm not self centered enough to believe that my contact with ANYONE outside my family and friends could ever make or break their day! There in lies your self centeredness. That you can believe in your heart of hearts that you do not affect the day of anyone other than those immediately surrounding you, yourself.

    Finally: ALSO, can you clarify what your point is on the 'holding a door open' bit? I can't make it clear no matter how many times I re-read it.... Perhaps having a door held open is the greatest gift, human interaction the person in front of you or behind you, might receive...

    Little things... are huge to people.

    See?

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  19. It's just too hard not to comment-great post. I blogged about this, but I'm a student of Old Testament law, and one thing that is clear about the law-it has no power to change a life, only the power to demonstrate wrong-doing, like a mirror. The Ten Commandments are like the ABCs on how to live, fairly simple-don't lie, don't covet, don't murder, etc. Our system of justice in America is based in part on Judeo-Christian principles, that all life has basic and fundamental worth, and we have some basic rights because of that. Legal and civil authority is necessary or society would be in chaos. But the scriptures also say that mercy triumphs over justice. It seems to me that built into the very fabric of human reality are so many checks and balances because we are creatures of free choice-there are consequences to those choices. Utopia is not living in perfect physical world-it is living in a world of beings whose very nature is to do no wrong. I believe forgiveness always trumps a wrong. In my faith system, the final answer God gives to humankind is "forgiven", and while consequences must be levied to wrong-doing, the final question is-who truly has the right? I do believe in a final judgment meted out by the One who took mankind's penalty and broke the power of the law.

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  20. Pixie,

    Sorry I'm totally confused...

    What do you mean 'check my delivery'?

    It's not self centred to believe that me driving to work, working for 8 hours, driving to the gym, driving home and going to bed does not 'make or break' anyones day? Seriously!

    I always hold the door for people? Always always. But I don't see how that goes against what I was saying? I said 'Do unto others'. And I do. So I hold the door for people expecting that they will do the same for me. How does your holding the door point go against my previous comment?

    Hugs and kisses,

    Chris H

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  21. Anonymous4:16 AM

    I understand how horrible a crime that rape is - especially when the victim is a child. When this happens to a child we want to do everything in our power to help this child out mentally - right? What happens when this child "grows up"? This adult is STILL the same person who was sexually molested as a child and STILL has the mental problems from the assault, right? So... we all also know that most pedophiles were once victims themselves. Why then, since we wanted so badly to help them as a child are we so willing to do them harm instead of trying to find them the help that they need? Incarceration, rehabilitation and cognitive behavioral skills are needed. NOT more violence. Violence only begets more violence and solves NOTHING!!! And, by the way, the statistics that say that pedophiles are the most likely to re-offend are old - it has been reviewed and this is no longer true. They are less likely to re-offend if they are given the proper rehabilitation then other criminals.

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  22. Rubbish!

    I know soeone who was molested and sexually assaulted as a child and they aren't a paedophile! It's not forced on you just cos you were attacked yourself!

    Are you telling me that if you're child/sister/mother/wife/brother/father/husband was raped and you were left alone in the room with the rapist and a caseball bat you'd just say "Jese, that was a bad thing you did! Try not to do it again next time, K?"

    Hugs and kisses,

    Chris H

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  23. Loving this one Shaun! Truly this whole blog is the essence of what is awry with the whole world. Really, think about it. We as humans have so many different opinions and beliefs that it is extremely difficult to agree on certain (highly important) subjects. I think it is awesome that people are passionate for their beliefs! I think it is fair to say the the answer to Shaun's question has really no answer at all for all people. There are too many variables and opinions. But, then there is what the Bible says and all I know is I (personally) am too afraid to challenge it and (I guess) lucky because I haven't been in the position to have to . Shaun, let Warrior know that he did the right thing because that is what he did-it is what happened and how it played out. FACT. Second guessing past actions is only good to learn for the future but even then when we do second guess it is usually because we know the outcome because it already happened. We can't change what already happened. (did I say that right??) I feel for him in that he wishes he should have done something way back when, but as you (Shaun) pointed out, he'd be on death row himself or life in prison (same thing yes??)-hence "an eye for an eye" ... or "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" and aren't they also basically the same thing?

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  24. Anonymous3:56 PM

    That's the way it is in prison...even in a place full of criminals, rapists and child molesters are considered the lowest of the low.

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  25. Anonymous8:56 AM

    Perhaps I'm the only one with this dilemma, perhaps not?

    Prisoners hate & despise rapist & paedophiles, yet there is a HUGE amount of rape via prison gangs...

    I'm in need of an explanation as to how rape by these gangs of guys is any different to rape outside of prison...

    Is the victimising of these particular criminals an expression of self hatred?

    Is there an unwritten code that says "It's ok to rape someone younger and/or more vulnerable than you when you're a prisoner" ?

    I'm aware that some straight men end up in consenting homosexual relationships due to the human need for affection & companionship, yet this is not what I'm talking about. It's a different thing.

    For me, if a person hates & despises rape, they need to show it by never ever raping anyone for any reason & the committing of rape makes a person a rapist, so those who do this need to be automatically & immediately dropped to the lowest rung of the prison ladder along with those who've raped outside of prison, not given power as is currently the case.

    To Chris H: to highlight one of Pixies' points; your words have had an effect upon me, a person that you don't know & will likely never meet. In my case, the affect is small, as I have not taken your comments on board either emotionally or intellectually (I've just noted that this is how you think), yet I am a very particular kind of person & most who read here are not like me & will have been emotionally affected by your words, some profoundly so. it appears to me that all Pixie was asking of you is that you think about those people before you begin to type your thoughts.

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