Watford Waterstone’s Book Signing

The first to arrive were three students from the Bushey Academy.

“We recognised your picture in the window. You did a talk at our school. It was the best talk we had all year. When are you coming back?”

“Hopefully next academic year,” I said.

“We still have your cockroach card.”

This true-crime addict said, "I just love Sandra Gregory's book, Forget You Had a Daughter."
"She works for the same place as me," I said, "The McLellan Practice, doing talks to schools." Sandra was a school teacher who tried to smuggle heroin out of Thailand. She was sentenced to death, but the sentence was reduced by the King of Thailand. Here's the link to her excellent book.

Two security guards rushed into the store as if about to arrest me.

“We’ve seen you out in the mall with your cockroach! We’ve let it go for four hours, but now we have video evidence, we filmed you, and you must not continue!”

“Why?” I asked.

“You’re not allowed to promote outside the store.”

“OK. Sorry. I didn’t know.”

“We’re just here selling the book,” said my assistant, Gabriella. “Why don’t you buy a copy?”

“I don’t read!”

“Why not?” Gabriella asked. “Just read the first page. Humour me.”

Gabriella melted their moodiness. They agreed to a photo session, and one pledged to buy the book on his payday.

Thanks to the help of Gabriella and some of the most accommodating staff I’ve had the pleasure of working with, the event almost sold out: 45 of 51 copies. Events manager Catherine kept us armed with flyers, and even made some additional posters to advertise the book signing in the windows.

Some readers have questioned me along the lines of: “Shaun, breaking the book sales record at every store is not what art is about. What is wrong with you and your competitive nature?”

My response: There are all sorts wrong with me, including my competitive nature. I am governed by the laws of testosterone. A whiff of competition heats my blood up. Indeed, upon arriving at Watford, I announced to the staff, “No body goes home until all copies of Hard Time are sold!” A staff member responded, “You’re scaring me.”

But isn’t making fun of my foibles through writing a form of art? And not to be taken all that seriously

Click here for the previous book signing blog.

Shaun Attwood