Prologue
Bang, bang, bang, bang,
bang!
“Tempe Police Department! We have a warrant!”
As I leap up from my computer table, my insides clench. I
rush to the door. The peephole’s blacked out. Feeling the threat from the other
side flare up, I jolt back. Through a window, I see police positioned behind
cars and marksmen aiming rifles. Afraid of getting shot, I duck. Get the hell out! Blood surges to my
head. Hide in the ceiling? Jump off the balcony? Nowhere to go! I’m trapped!
I’m halfway through the living room when – boom! – the
door leaps off its hinges. Pointing huge guns, the SWAT team barricades me in
with a wall of Plexiglas shields, screaming, “Get on the ground now!” Fear of
getting shot paralyses me. My chest seizes up. The price has finally come for committing so many crimes.
It was years before I realised that the SWAT team had saved
my life that day. Before my arrest, my drug-crazed behaviour had become so
extreme, I once smashed my head through a plasterboard wall, just missing a
lengthy nail by a few inches. I woke up caked in vomit with no recollection of
what I’d done. The carpet cleaner couldn’t remove the stains because the
chemicals in what I’d ingested were so toxic. My biggest competitor in the
Ecstasy market, the Mafia mass murderer “Sammy the Bull” Gravano had a hit out
on me, and I was under the protection of the New Mexican Mafia, the most dangerous
criminal organization in Arizona.
Sobering up in prison, wondering how on earth I was still
alive, I went on an amazing journey of self-discovery. Previously, working my
way up from a penniless student to a stock-market millionaire and Ecstasy
kingpin, I’d rushed through life without any introspection. Prison forced me to
grow up. I saw how emotionally immature, selfish and foolish my behaviour had
been. The pain I caused my family made me ill, but added extra motivation to my
soul-searching. I regretted sending people down the road of drug use, which
devastates so many. Shocked, ashamed, I set out to try and make sense of my
behaviour in the hope of becoming a better person. I read over 1000 books and submerged
myself in psychology and philosophy. I was fortunate enough to have counselling
with a brilliant psychotherapist, Dr. Owen, and to befriend Two Tonys, a Mafia
mass murder who left the corpses of rival gangsters from Tucson to Alaska. After
I started putting his stories on the Internet, Two Tonys, a self-taught
philosopher serving 112 years, took me under his wing and schooled me on prison
etiquette
To this day, I fall back on what Dr. Owen, Two Tonys and
other people taught me. Since my release five years ago, I’ve been blessed to
share my experiences as a motivational speaker with tens of thousands of
students in the UK, I managed to expose human rights violations in the jail I
was at via an episode of Locked-Up Abroad televised worldwide, and my story was
published as a trilogy. But just as importantly, I wake up with a smile on my
face because I feel at peace with myself and the world. In this book, I’m going
to share the lessons I learned that transformed my life.
Shaun Attwood
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