Christmas in Prison
Merry Xmas 2014! A big thank you for your support and for supporting my prison friends. I hope to publish the life story of Two Tonys in 2015, a Mafia associate who protected me in prison. Here's my last Xmas conversation with Two Tonys in prison: http://jonsjailjournal.blogspot.co.uk/search?q=two+tonys+christmas
Two Tonys taught me to appreciate life and the small things:
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Shaun Attwood
Prison Interview Shaun Attwood (Dec 2014)
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Shaun Attwood
Today I was delighted to wake up to this email from a guy who credits reading Hard Time for helping him recover from drugs:
Hi Shaun,
I just wanted to send you a message to say thank you. I was in a pretty dark place with drugs a few years ago and u came to visit my girlfriends school in bath. She got a signed book from u and have it to me for my birthday (she didn't quite know the extent of the hole I was in, I'd all but shut her out my life to keep her from it). I read hard time and it changed my life. Your books were the help I was too scared to ask anyone else for. I am terrified to even think we're I would be without u. What ur doing is amazing and u are the strongest man I know Shaun. I gave the book to my friends who were in the same situation as me and nearly all of them have pulled through and we are now doing absolutely brilliantly.
So once again thank you, I will never be able to say it enough.
Shaun xx
Download my jail book, Hard Time, for FREE, using any of the 5 links below:
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Shaun Attwood
Hi Shaun,
I just wanted to send you a message to say thank you. I was in a pretty dark place with drugs a few years ago and u came to visit my girlfriends school in bath. She got a signed book from u and have it to me for my birthday (she didn't quite know the extent of the hole I was in, I'd all but shut her out my life to keep her from it). I read hard time and it changed my life. Your books were the help I was too scared to ask anyone else for. I am terrified to even think we're I would be without u. What ur doing is amazing and u are the strongest man I know Shaun. I gave the book to my friends who were in the same situation as me and nearly all of them have pulled through and we are now doing absolutely brilliantly.
So once again thank you, I will never be able to say it enough.
Shaun xx
Download my jail book, Hard Time, for FREE, using any of the 5 links below:
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Shaun Attwood
Importance of Books in Prison
In the spirit of what I've said in this video, I'm now donating all of the proceeds from my books to help prisoners, prison charities and students in state schools get free books.
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Shaun Attwood
Prison Tattoos: What Teardrop Means In Jail
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Shaun Attwood
From T-Bone (Letter 36)
T-Bone is a massively-built spiritual ex-Marine, who uses fighting skills to stop prison rape. T-Bone’s latest letter:
There’s a guy in here called Ted, who
got himself some crystal meth, and, man, is that stuff poison. He was walking
around with his jaw going from side to side, and when he did sit, he couldn’t keep
his legs still.
“Why are you doing that stuff?” I asked
Ted.
“I have nothing else to do,” he said.
“You have a fleshly mind-set,” I said. “I
know because I’ve been there.”
Ted wanted to buy pain medication to
snort. He sent a youngster to sick call to try to obtain some. The youngster
managed to get the meds, but kept them to himself.
“T-Bone, I need your help with the
youngster,” Ted said. He had seen me stand up for the weaker guys who were trying
to change.
“Duh,” I said.
“Everyone is ripping me off,” Ted said.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Doing dope, you dummy. If you make the
effort to change, God will take care of the rest.”
He didn’t listen. Some guys went into
his cell and beat Ted up and took his dope.
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My book Prison Time includes how I met T-Bone
Video describing the time I spent in supermax security prison
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Shaun Attwood
Part 3: Shaun Attwood Prison Q&A Nov 2014
Download my jail book, Hard Time, for FREE, using the 5 links below:
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From T-Bone (Letter 35)
T-Bone is a massively-built spiritual ex-Marine, who uses fighting skills to stop prison rape. T-Bone’s latest letter:
This is for all of the people out there
who think drugs are cool. They put a guy in with me who was thin-in-the-wind skinny,
as thin as an AIDS patient who is about to die. He was extremely sick coming
off heroin, which in here has various names such as boy, black, Mexican mud and
China white. I call it poison.
Right in front of me, the guy jumped up
and started to puke. He pulled down his pants and crapped as he was puking. It
was nasty. I couldn’t believe that I was looking at a man’s guts hanging out of
his butt hole.
I told him I was getting him some help.
“They won’t do anything,” he said.
“I am a man of God,” I said.
I told the guards. They came and got him
out of here.
There’s a big surge of heroin here in
the States that has people sick all over the place. What heroin does to people
is unreal. Him and people like him are hurting in a way that is inhuman. It
takes an empty person to sell heroin to anyone. Heroin had reduced him to
resembling a poor soul in a World War II death camp.
Steel embrace,
T-Bone
My book Prison Time includes how I met T-Bone
Prison Survival Advice by Shaun Attwood of Banged Up Abroad
Download my jail book, Hard Time, for FREE, using the 5 links below:
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From T-Bone (Letter 34)
T-Bone is a massively-built spiritual ex-Marine, who uses fighting skills to stop prison rape. T-Bone’s latest letter:
I’d like to detail how things really are
here in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s jail. It all starts with being let out of our
cells at 7 AM. Then, the guards lock us down to feed us hard old bread that has
been left in a freezer (for weeks we’ve been told). When we bite into it or try
to pull a piece off it, it falls apart like dry leaves on a tree that has had
no water. It just crumbles. The peanut butter is all oil or water when it too
thaws out.
People walk around hungry all of the
time, begging the guards for food or trying to steal from each other or the
guards. Grown men walk around in circles all day in the dayroom, or they try to
play games or work out to take advantage of the weaker guys. There is a lot of
pain in this place, a lot of fear and doubt, and a lot of hope has been crushed
by the lack of compassion and the absence of a good meal and because we are
never allowed to go outside to receive fresh air and sunshine.
I had to intervene in a dispute because
of the conditions here. A guy was taking out his frustrations on another guy
who could barely walk. He was blaming him for all of the bad food and the lack
of fresh air. Another guy started to blame Obama for the ills of this place. Another
said it’s the Mexicans fault. Another said it’s the whites. Then everyone went
to their respective racial gangs and looked angrily at each other all day.
This place is always ready to explode
for any reason. If a guard is having a bad day, he’ll find any reason to lock
us down for the eight hours we are supposed to have access to the dayroom. Some
guys cannot wait to go to court, so that they can move around and not breathe
in the pink fibres that come through the ventilation system. They have a
problem with mice in here, which carry all kinds of disease.
It’s remarkable how the human mind works
under stress. A lot of men sit around and hate and dwell on evil things or things
from their past. That’s how some get comfort of solace. Others turn to God. God
has given me peace and has done so much for me that people here come to me for
advice and direction. I know it’s him who is at work in me and through me. You,
Shaun, and all of my readers out there on the Internet are a godsend. I thank
him and you all.
In the evening, we get our other meal, dinner, which even the guards and the people who cook it call slop. It is
something to behold. Sometimes it has rocks in it, a lot of times hair. It has
recently tasted like soap. They won’t give us anything else. It’s like a game
to old Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his underlings. The beans aren’t even cooked. They
are hard and they too have rocks in them at times. It’s so bad that the guards
won’t eat it. They shake their heads at it. They give us a pad of fake butter
to put on the old bread and we drink water.
When we complain, the guards say to put
in a grievance form or they threaten to put us in lockdown for causing a
disruption when the only thing we did was tell them that the food is nasty.
Just the other day, another guy was
found dead in this place because of the conditions. That’s two dead in 3½ weeks.
It’s unreal at times.
There’s so much hate and emptiness
because a lot of the guards assume everyone is guilty even though we are
unsentenced. Yes, there are plenty of guys in here who are guilty, but no one
should be forced to eat food like this in the United States of America, which I
fought for as a Marine. I’m starting to think that Arizona is no longer in the United
States. Although many of us have committed crimes, treating us like this is
inhuman. Men act like animals because of the subhuman conditions. I fear my
words really don’t express the depth and horror of the situation here. It’s
absolutely sickening.
One of the ways they manage the
prisoners is they have hundreds of men locked up on psychiatric medication. It’s
all a moneymaking operation for Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the drug companies at
the tax payers’ expense.
Most of the guys who are not on
psychiatric medication are on heroin and crystal meth. A guy had some dope, heroin
and speed, hid up his butt, which the guards had brought in for him. You should
have saw how the guys who are addicted to it acted. They were like a bunch of
hungry dogs who haven’t eaten in days. The guards know when this place is
flooded with dope. They sit back and watch as people try to kill themselves.
If they obeyed basic human rights and
allowed us sunshine, fresh air and reasonable food, they wouldn’t have a lot of
the trouble that happens here. People wouldn’t want to lose what they have by
causing enough trouble to go to lockdown.
I will soon write more about other
things that have happened here.
Steel embrace,
T-Bone
My book Prison Time includes how I met T-Bone
Shaun Attwood
Book Giveaway
Here are six ways to get a free copy of my latest book, Hard Time 2nd Edition.
1 Enter this Goodreads Giveaway to win a signed copy.
2 Answer this question at Total Crime to win a signed copy: Competition now closed
3 Prisoners Abroad in this article have launched a competition to win signed copies of Hard Time 2nd Edition. Details are on their Facebook wall. Competition now closed
4 One For Ten - a wonderful group of death-penalty activists out of London, who I have met and know personally - are offering signed copies of Hard Time 2nd Edition as a perk to anyone who donates £50 to their latest kickstarter campaign.
5 If you are in the UK and you buy books on Amazon UK, you may be able to qualify for a free signed copy of Hard Time 2nd Edition if you are willing to spend a few minutes posting some reviews. Please email me for more details: attwood.shaun@hotmail.co.uk
6 If you are satisfied with a digital copy, please use any of the links below to get a free version of Hard Time 2nd Edition, which you can download to any device, Kindle, phone, PC...
FREE DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE: UK Kindle USA Kindle iTunes Kobo Smashwords (download to any computer, phone or device)
If you do read Hard Time 2nd Edition, please keep me posted on what you think of it.
Shaun Attwood
1 Enter this Goodreads Giveaway to win a signed copy.
2 Answer this question at Total Crime to win a signed copy: Competition now closed
3 Prisoners Abroad in this article have launched a competition to win signed copies of Hard Time 2nd Edition. Details are on their Facebook wall. Competition now closed
4 One For Ten - a wonderful group of death-penalty activists out of London, who I have met and know personally - are offering signed copies of Hard Time 2nd Edition as a perk to anyone who donates £50 to their latest kickstarter campaign.
5 If you are in the UK and you buy books on Amazon UK, you may be able to qualify for a free signed copy of Hard Time 2nd Edition if you are willing to spend a few minutes posting some reviews. Please email me for more details: attwood.shaun@hotmail.co.uk
6 If you are satisfied with a digital copy, please use any of the links below to get a free version of Hard Time 2nd Edition, which you can download to any device, Kindle, phone, PC...
FREE DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE: UK Kindle USA Kindle iTunes Kobo Smashwords (download to any computer, phone or device)
If you do read Hard Time 2nd Edition, please keep me posted on what you think of it.
Shaun Attwood
Greetings from the Abyss by Jack (Part 21)
Jack is serving life without parole, and has terminal cancer. Throughout my incarceration, Jack was a positive influence. He encouraged me to keep writing, to enter short-story competitions, and we proofread each other’s chapters.
While at work, I began experiencing bouts of dizziness, confusion, slurred speech, and intense throbbing pain on the right side of my head. The left side of my face and left arm went numb, and to a lesser extent, my left leg. Once again, I was taken and hooked up to an IV, but this time I was given several medications, both orally and intravenously.
While at work, I began experiencing bouts of dizziness, confusion, slurred speech, and intense throbbing pain on the right side of my head. The left side of my face and left arm went numb, and to a lesser extent, my left leg. Once again, I was taken and hooked up to an IV, but this time I was given several medications, both orally and intravenously.
After the pain had somewhat subsided, I
was kept there for a few hours for observation. One of the male nurses that I
have known for about 10 years came over and spent some time with me to help
alleviate some of my concerns, and to just keep an eye on me in case my
condition took a turn for the worse. He said that I would probably be told
something different, but the general opinion was that I had experienced a
transient ischemic attack (TIA). He said that this was not unusual when
considered in context with the type of cancer I have.
I asked why I wasn’t taken to the
hospital if this was a TIA. Evidently, the underwritten policy with Corizon
Health is that unless the inmate suffers a massive stroke or does not respond
to the anticoagulant drugs and beta blockers, he is kept on site and under
observation.
After a few more hours of laying there,
watching the IV drip and contemplating the fragility of the human body and the
obvious damage that I have caused through neglect and abuse, the doctor showed
up to enlighten me on my condition. The official diagnoses: severe migraine and
dehydration.
He lectured me on staying properly
hydrated and indicated that the dehydration had caused the migraine; consequently,
I had caused this problem due to my inability to maintain proper hydration in a
desert environment. What a joke.
I was so disgusted with his obvious
attempt to shift responsibility onto me that I just lay there and ignored him. At
one point during his diatribe, I did interrupt him when he stated that I needed
to consume 60 to 80 ounces of water each day. Fed up with his sanctimonious
attitude, I laid into him with my personal consumption habits.
It was ridiculous of me to do so knowing
that it would have absolutely no effect on my current situation, but it was
satisfying getting him to shut up for a moment. The incredulous look on his
face when I told him that I don’t drink soda or Kool-Aid and that I only
consume 20 ounces of coffee or tea each day, and the remaining 120 ounces of
fluid I consume every day is water. I told him that I was tired and no longer
wanted to hear him bleat out the Corizon party line to justify their refusal to
provide the nationally recognised standard of healthcare. I’m sure I came
across as surly, but I didn’t really care.
Although I hate to admit it, over the
last couple of months, I have found that I tire easily. It has become
progressively more difficult for me to work more than a few hours each day. I
recently discussed this issue with my boss and we have decided that it would be
best if I only work the morning class.
Shaun, thank you for setting up the page so that your readers may donate if they are so inclined. I guess I am still
cynical that anyone would want to donate anything because of my background and
crimes, but then again I am always being amazed at the generosity of strangers
and the level of compassion and understanding that at times seems to spring
forth in very bleak and barren environments.
Shaun Attwood
Dawn of a New Adventure (Part 16)
Pics taking delivery of 5,500 copies of Hard Time 2nd Edition at my warehouse space. The majority are being donated to prison charities and state schools. Please like my publishing company, Gadfly Press UK, on Facebook and Twitter.
Hard Time 2 is now available worldwide on Amazon, UK paperback, UK Kindle, USA paperback, USA Kindle,
Shaun Attwood
Hard Time 2 is now available worldwide on Amazon, UK paperback, UK Kindle, USA paperback, USA Kindle,
From T-Bone (Letter 33)
T-Bone is a massively-built spiritual ex-Marine, who uses fighting skills to stop prison rape. T-Bone’s latest letter:
Would you believe a guard read about me
at Jon’s Jail Journal! The guard turned the other way while I dealt with the
guys who were out to hurt me. I went right in and hit the smallest one with a right
hand. His head hit the wall. Down he went. The others just stood there for a
second and that was their mistake. On a mission for God and country, I laid
into them as US Marine.
These other black punks came to the door
and said, “Hey, man. It’s your pod now. It’s your pod.”
“Now hear this,” I said. “Attention on
deck, you jokers. If the Army and Navy ever look on heaven’s scenes, they will
find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.”
Now they think I am going to run the
place, but I am not going to lower myself to their standards. I am not a hero. Those
men and women out there working and taking care of their families and serving God
are the real heroes.
Each one teach one.
Strength and honour.
Steel embrace.
T-Bone
Shaun Attwood
From T-Bone (Letter 32)
T-Bone is a massively-built spiritual ex-Marine, who uses fighting skills to stop prison rape. T-Bone’s latest letter:
They brought a guy in from lockdown, who
thought he was the stuff. He zeroed in on a young kid. He actually walked up to
the kid, gave him some food, and started to horseplay with him.
The kid was hungry because they don’t
feed us worth a damn in here. The kid was thinking, Wow! This guy is cool.
I was hoping the kid wouldn’t eat any of
the stuff, but he did. He went into cell 2 out of view, and the guy was on him.
It was so damn sick.
The guy hadn’t thought about God. I
walked over there with no fear. Several other sickos were telling me to mind my
own business. They were about to jump me. Man, it got real and I mean real. I
realised that I was being set up, and I started to pray.
The guards came in to do a security walk.
They saw the kid all red-faced and bleeding. They hauled the kid and the guy
out of here real fast. They locked us down to investigate what had happened. They
let us back out 40 minutes later.
I knew it was on, and I had a better
idea of who had stolen my store. I thought I knew before, but I realized it was
three of them. I had underestimated their desire and passion to hurt me.
I am going to clamp down on these guys
before I write more, and I won’t be taking them lightly.
Shaun Attwood
Hard Time 2nd Edition (2014) - Locked Up/Banged Up Abroad Raving Arizona
Click here for a FREE ebook version available for Kindles, all devices and PC's.
The 2nd edition is rewritten in the present tense and vastly expanded.
English Shaun Trilogy Book 2.
Shaun Attwood
The 2nd edition is rewritten in the present tense and vastly expanded.
Shaun Attwood
Your Life as an Inmate (Guest Blog by Tommy Chandler)
Tommy Chandler went to the Denver
Detention Center two times this year for 54 and 55 days. One was a theft charge
and the other was urinating in public. He is 44 years old and 93 days sober
after using meth and marijuana for 33 years. He wrote this in jail:
The
bricks have no warmth here, nothing but the cold reality surrounding you. Caged
in like the mighty lion that got caught, his instincts slowly fading away. Your
aching back is begging for freedom again. Until then nothing but a cold metal
bunk bed with a two-inch-thick broken-down mat is all you get. The loud snoring
in both cells on each side has you sandwiched into never-ending sleepless
nights.
Once
a week, most look forward to commissary day. Some will be smiling like kids on
Christmas, others just sitting enviously like kids in the corner that Santa
forgot, wishing they would have heard their name called to go get their bag of
goodies.
Loneliness
constantly creeps into your mind and heart. But you’re never alone as you’re
constantly surrounded by other inmates and guards. Most of whom couldn’t care
whether you existed or not.
Few
inmates can remember phone numbers of contacts in their cell phones. Those that
can need their friends or family to prepay phone time to accept collect calls.
Unfortunately, most have burned everyone outside due to drugs, bad behavior and
bad decisions. So phone calls and visits are rare.
The
food is repetitive and lacks in so many ways they just call it chow. It is
served three times a day. There is a twelve-hour span between your last meal
that day and breakfast the next morning. So your options are to starve, save
and hide food for a snack later or eat commissary. Some pitch in together and
combine items to make spreads, giving them something that tastes good and fills
stomachs until the next meal. The hungry ones sit watching and wishing they
could join in, almost like that little fat kid who didn’t get picked to play
ball.
Once
a week, you get a clean uniform and linens. First you turn in your dirty ones.
Then before being given clean ones, everyone is put out into the courtyard.
Then the guards search the entire place. They rummage through everyone’s
belongings, making a mess to clean up, confiscating items not issued to you or
bought through commissary, removing anything extra that might provide comfort,
individuality, or a sense of home until your release.
This
wasn’t written to complain or condemn the system, jails or prisons in any way.
Reform and retraining grown adults is not easy to do. I commend all you
officers trying to do your best to enforce our laws and protect our rights.
What I am saying is if you have ever done drugs, domestic violence, been
abusive, or if you just plain keep making bad choices and bad decisions, then
please change or this will be your life as an inmate.
Prisoner Art Exhibition in London
For the next two months, the annual Koestler Trust exhibition of prisoner art is in the Royal Festival Hall at the Southbank Centre, London. Entrance is free, so please come along. Here are some photos, mainly from the space I curated. I chose mostly portraits and my theme ended up being "faces," including the clock-face painting. I made a brief appearance on BBC Vietnam. Unless you speak Vietnamese, you won't be able to understand it, but you get a good view of the prisoner art at the exhibition. Here's the clip.
Shaun Attwood
 |
| With Tim Robertson, CEO Koestler Trust |
 |
| Paul Denham's winning entry |
 |
| With Molly Denham, mother of the blind artist Paul Denham |
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