1 September 05

Anal Virginity Threats: Another Love Letter from Kenny

Threat level: moderate

Hello Jon, There aren’t too many pleasures I would keep from you should you ever develop a change from idle curiosity to open mindedness.

If a man has a secret relationship with a friend, and no one knows they pleasure each other, do they stay as straight as a guy who pleasure himself by the feel of a man’s hand – be it his own – or if by the grace of God he is born with a few less ribs and a limber spine, and it isn’t his hand he uses to please himself?

A guy I knew, who claimed to be straight, and talked frequently of his wife and girlfriends, and all the pleasures they brought, finally, one day, told me something like, “F—k it, if you want to give me head, its cool, it's been a long time.” After a few minutes, he caught his breath and said, “Damn, you did in five minutes what took my wife twenty!” I told him it always takes longer when you’re nervous.

Hey Jon – I won’t tell a soul if you won’t! Wars have been won and zippers lowered on the almighty secret. Any sexy guy that gives another sexy guy what they both secretly love and fantasize about finds pleasure beyond words.


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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
30 August 05

Rockmother asked if my blog is uncensored.

Occasionally, my parents choose not to post blogs which they feel might put me in harms way.
I spend five or six hours a day writing with the zeal of a medieval scribe. It’s not all blogging though. There’s snail mail to respond to, and other writing projects that I’m working on – such as translating Kant’s entire works into prison slang (just kidding.)

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
28 August 05

Slingblade At Work

Slingblade has been assigned a job as a porter. This morning he was mopping the runs.
“How much are they payin’ you to mop, Slingblade?” Adam asked.
“They said ten cents,” Slingblade grunted.
“How come only ten cents an hour?”
“They said 'cause I got no GED.”
“Are you gonna get a raise anytime soon?”
“They said perhaps a nickle or a dime in six months. George is gonna help me apply for it.”
“Ten cents ain’t much.”
“It ain’t bad. I’ve made fifteen hundred dollars in seven years.”
“Not bad, Slingblade. Not bad.”

Slingblade fell silent and his head trembled. Adam walked away, leaving Slingblade staring at the thunderheads moving over the prison. Slingblade suddenly seized the bucket and aimed it at some pigeon droppings on the concrete. The water landed and splashed some inmates who were playing cribbage. The inmates shook their heads at Slingblade. Slingblade snatched the mop and went to work on the pigeon droppings. At the end of the concrete, Slingblade put the mop down and refilled the bucket. Most of the inmates in the vacininty of Slingblade scattered, except for George, who was approaching Slingblade. Slingblade raised the bucket. His unsteady hands began to move the bucket forward. But his body jackknifed, the bucket flew in the air, and water went all over George.
“So that’s how you really feel about me, Slingblade,” George said.
Inmates laughed.
Slingblade shook a fist in the air. He chuckled and yelled “bah” twice. He tried to speak but only strange syllables came out.
“I’ll come and help you tonight,” George said, and left in a hurry.
For a few minutes, Slingblade gazed at nothing. Then, as if a reset button had been pressed, he grabbed the mop and set upon some fresh pigeon droppings as if nothing had happened.

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
26 August 05

A Sop To Cerberus

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
CBS 5 News: TV Interview

I was recently interviewed by Greg Mocker of Phoenix's CBS 5 News. Thank you, Greg.

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
24 August 05

Shane V Value Options

At this unit I share rec with twice as many inmates - twice as many sad stories. I recently met Shane, a good-natured thirty-year old, who described how he received an 11 1/4 year sentence from the same judge I was sentenced by.

Shane is mentally and physically ill. He has bipolar and borderline personality disorders. He has stage three cirrhosis of the liver from hepatitis C, which he contracted in prison. Shane’s first of many suicide attempts was at the age of seven when he stuck a knife into an electrical outlet. His mother abandoned him at age twelve and his father physically abused him, including smashing drinking glasses on his head. Also at age twelve, the State of Arizona started making him take Ritalin.

Shane’s adult life was spent either trying to kill himself – he ate glass, razor blades, and slashed his wrists countless times – or, in jails, prisons and psychiatric units, because he was committing petty crimes to obtain drugs to self medicate with.

Prior to this sentence for a minor burglary ($800 worth of stolen goods, which was returned to the victim), he spent seven years in prison functioning normally on psychiatric medication. Upon being released however, Value Options (the state contractor that was supposed to continue providing his medication) denied his application for medication on the basis that his behaviour had been normal in prison – which it had been because he had been getting the right drugs.

Off the medication, Shane reverted back to his old pattern of committing petty offences to finance drug purchases in order to ease his depressions. Value Options denied him any hope of living a normal life by stopping his medication.


According to a local newspaper Value Options has a $1.3 billion contract with Maricopa County. The company has been paying out $100,00 per death caused by them delaying or denying medication for seriously mentally ill people. The article revealed that Value Options is a subsidiary of Virginia based FHC Health Systems. I would like to know who owns FHC as I could not find any stock listed under that name.

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
22 August 05

Pamela Anderson & Ogre

Today, during rec, Ogre stopped by and told Long Island about his friendship with Pamela Anderson.
“So you knew Pamela Anderson? You guys were tight, huh?” Long Island said in a sarcastic tone.
“Yeah, I did. My buddy was an installer for Culligan Water who Pam contacted to put a
soft-water system in. I helped him put it in.”
“Where at?”
“Her house on Mulholland Drive.”
“You’re full o’ shit. Describe the house then?”
“It was a bad-ass house with pillars outside the front door and inside. There was China everywhere. There was big China vases, and a white marble floor. The rest of the house had white carpet – throughout the house. She had a big-screen TV.”
“When was this?
“Almost ten years ago.”
“I think I saw that house on the news when the kid drowned. What did the backyard look like?”
“It was tropical, with palm trees around the pool.”
“So what happened? You guys put her soft-water system in and then what?”
“She invited us back to kick it and party.”
“So you guys got high?”
“I didn’t. This is back when I still had morals. I hated slammers back then.”
“Slammers, are you sayin’ that Pam was slammin'?”
“Yeah. That’s how she got hepatitis C – from slammin’ dope.”
“What drugs was she into?”
“Heroin and coke.”
“How do you know this?”
“That’s what she did. She shot up while I was there. One time she came out of the bedroom, stumbling and almost nodding out. She threw up in the bathroom.”
“How many times did you visit Pam?”
“Quite a few. She knows me by name.”
“How come you stopped going over there?”
“My wife stopped me. I’d just got married. She didn’t want me hangin’ out with the fine women over there.”
“So your wife was wearing the pants?”
“Yeah. I even took her to Pam's once, but only the maid was there.”
“What did the maid look like?”
“She was Mexican. She didn’t speak much English. She said, ‘No home! No home!’”
“Huh. Somehow, this is believable,” Long Island said.
“Believe what you want. It’s true,” Ogre replied.

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
19 August 05

If a Member

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
17 August 05

Xena and the Scorpion

“Give it to me. I wannit,” Xena yelled at BHF who was holding a large scorpion by its tail.
BHF placed the scorpion on the ground.
Xena put the scorpion on the back of his right hand. The scorpion stung one of Xena's fingers. Xena laughed.
Nearby, a crowd was awaiting the opening of the chow hall. Xena, carrying the scorpion, entered the crowd. As Xena moved forward the crowd parted. I was Xena’s only follower.
“Look at Xena’s crazy ass.”
“She’s nuts!”
“What’s wrong with you, Xena?”
“Uh-oh, here she comes.”
“Wow, that’s a big-ass scorpion.”
“It stung her.”
“Does it hurt, Xena?”
“It hurts like a motherfucker, but it’ll stop hurting soon.” Addressing the scorpion in a voice mothers reserve for talking to babies, Xena said, “I know you didn’t mean to sting me like that. You was just scared. I still love you little buddy. I just wanna take you home with me.”

Xena freed the scorpion through the perimeter fence - out of the reach of certain inmates who were conspiring to kill it.

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
15 August 05

TB Test Results

The nurse summoned a group of us. She asked for my name and then touched the TB-test mark on my arm - a pink circle, barely a centimetre in diameter. She wrote down the number 2. “You’re a two” she said.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“You’re alright. You’re not a five.”
“What does that mean?”
“You need to stay away from people with coughs.”
“Alright. Thanks.”

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood


The BBC Radio 4 Today programme brought Sheriff Arpaio to the UK to see what he made of the British justice system. He took part in a Webchat at the end of his visit. Read the transcript below.

Name: Jill Berliand
Question: I would like to ask if the American method - ie living in tents in hot weather and being treated harshly has a better record when it comes to recidivism? Who monitors the prisons, who looks after a prisoners human rights?

Answer: Almost 2,000 inmates live in tents are convicted and serving time. Many inmates and families have thanked me since the inmates say they will never come back to jail.

Name: Steve Cushion London Metropolitan University
Question: In 1980 there were 300,000 people in prison in the United States. By 2001 there were 2,700,000 in jail. With the exception of Stalin's Russia and Nazi Germany, no country has ever had such a high prison population. In the USA, law and order has always been a right wing code word for racism and an African-American is seven times more likely to be imprisoned than the national average. What does the Sheriff say about this?

Answer: In my jails 5% out of over 10,000 prisoners are of African American background. We do not have racism. The criminal justice system would not allow racism.

Name: Derick Attwood
Question: Our son was an unsentenced guest in Towers Jail and also your infamous Madison Street Jail, which is now fortunately closed. During his two years in your 'care' he was subjected to infestations of cockroaches, mouldy rotten food and regularly broken air conditioning in 130 degree+ temperatures which caused fungal, skin and eye infections which he still has scars from. How do you justify this abuse of unsentenced prisoners and in view of the recidivism rate, do you think this treatment will make your inmates better citizens?

Answer: It is unfortunate that your son had to spend 2 years before I believe he went to court to either be sentenced or released. We had built two new hi-tech jails which should relieve any problems in the future, if your son is telling the truth in/or over reacting to his treatment.

Name: Joe Morison
Question: You talk a lot about punishment. What purpose do you see punishment fulfilling? As Gandhi said: an eye for eye makes for a blind world.

Answer: We should hold people accountable for their actions. You should never live better in jail than on the outside. We used to punish our children and take away their privileges. I use the same philosophy in running the jails.

Name: George Foster
Question: I have heard the usual liberal views on rehabilitation this week. What about the victims!!. Yes our prisons are used to jail people who are not a threat to public health or property, but there are also people who pose a threat to the wellbeing and belongings/property of law abiding citizens. You might want to ask some victims of crime for their views on what is appropriate. What role do victims have in US?

Answer: All I hear is rehabilitation and education for the inmates. We seem to forget the victims. Criminals must be held responsible for the crimes and we should never forget the destruction of lives and property. Like those criminals who have no respect for the victims of crime. Victims now have the right to face the accuser in court on serious crimes.

Name: John Percival
Question: The Sheriff's comment about no mention being made of punishment for crime in this country is right. It is not vengeful to want punishment for offenders against society, we need a deterrent against persistent criminals and protection for victims of crime. A slap on the wrist for offenders is not enough, as the lawlessness in towns and cities proves.

Answer: Punishment is a deterrence against crime. We should never forget the victims. The first priority of Government is safety of it's people.

Name: Richard Lyon
Question: Does Mr Arpaio feel that the three strikes rule in USA is justified given the large number of people there serving life for trivial crimes?

Answer: My opinion as to why crime has been reduced by 20% across the United States is that more people are in jail. Those receiving long sentences or the three strikes rule are not in jail for trivial crimes.

Name:Jenny Russell, Maricopa County Resident:
Question: I'd like to pose a question to sheriff Joe. I'd like him to address the deaths that take place in his county jails. I'd also like him to explain the fact that crime has risen every year since he's been sheriff--disproportionate to the population growth, if the harsh conditions in his jails are supposed to deter crime.

Answer: Crime has gone down in Maricopa County especially those areas of the county that the sheriff is responsible for. Over 1 million more people have moved to Maricopa County since I have been the sheriff which naturally will increase the crime rate and incarceration. When you have 10 thousand people a day in a jail unfortunately there may be some deaths just like any other town. Many prisoners come to jail not in healthy condition. High on drugs in not receiving good health care prior to being arrested and booked into the jail system.

Name: Andrew Shaw
Question: I was interested in your piece with Sheriff Joe Arpaio. My thoughts are that prison sentencing should be split into 2 parts. A period for punishment where prisoners get no privileges and live a very basic existence. Then a period of rehabilitation when privileges are introduced to ready them for release back into the community if they are deemed safe.

Answer: I have 2 thousand inmates out of 10 thousand that have been convicted. We offer those inmates education and rehabilitation before they are released into the community.

As he was unable to hear Joe Arpaio himself, Jon would appreciate your comments on the above and, if you heard it, the BBC Today’s programme about criminal justice.

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