10 March 05

Anal Virginity Threats: Adam's Fetish
(Threat level: medium)

My behind is dodging a triple threat. Frankie and George have been joined by Adam. The fact that I just want to be left alone seems to have impassioned them further.

Adam introduced himself a few weeks ago:
“Wassup! I hear you’re from England?”
“I fuckin' dig English dudes. You wanna know why?”
“I had a porno movie collection and there was somethin’ different about the English dudes that I just fuckin’ love.”
“Can you guess what I’m talkin’ about?”
“The English guys were all uncut. I just love to see that. Are all English guys uncut?”
“As far as I know, only America and countries like Israel do it.”
“Yep, they butcher us at birth and charge us for it. It’s a scam. Uncircumcised men are a rarity around here They just drive me wild.”
“Well, I’m straight, so I’m not going to be able to help you in that department.”
“Alright then, but if you change your mind.”

More recently:
“I heard that you were into S & M on the streets?”
“A little. Why?”
“And I know that you’re into yoga, so you must be real flexible.”
“I’m flexible.”
“I love flexible guys. I’ve got somethin’ I wanna tell you about.”
“What is it?”
“You’re open minded right?” You wouldn’t take offence if I told you somethin’?”
“I doubt it. But it's still no if you’re looking to shag me!”
“Well, there’s somethin’ that I’m really into.”
“Yeah. Spit it out then.”
“OK, I’ll give you the rundown on how this came about. I had a boyfriend in here right, about a year ago.”
“We used to fuck around all the time. Anyway, this one day, he was positioned doggy style and I was lickin’ his ass.”
“Oh dear.”
“Just wait. Its about to get much better. So I was lickin’ his ass right and out of nowhere he accidentally – well, actually, it might have been on purpose – he farted in my mouth.”
“How terrible!”
“Yeah and he made it seem like it was an accident but he was fuckin’ laughin’ at the time.”
“It didn’t bother you?”
“It amused me. For a second, it was like an egg in the face, but I was in the moment, so I resumed what I was doin’.”
“Licking his arse?”
“Yes, goin’ to town on his ass.”
“Did he fart on you again?”
“No. Not on the same evening.”
“But it did happen again?”
“Well, yeah, actually, it grew to the point that it was highly entertaining, so I encouraged it.”
“Didn’t it put a weird taste in your mouth?”
“That’s what was so cool about it, his farts didn’t smell. If there was an offensive odour, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“So, did you start demanding that he would fart in your mouth?”
“Kinda. Later on. What I did was make bets with him.”
“Like what?”
“Silly little bets. If I lost he would have to fart ten times in my face bare-assed.”
“I assume that you lost quite a bit?”
“Oh yeah. I picked things to ensure that I would lose.”
“You loaded the dice so that you would end up being farted on?”
“And this man could perform ten back-to-back farts after you intentionally lost these bets?”
“Well, as many as he could do at one time. I would count them and carry the balance over until the next session.”
“So what started out as an accidental fart on the face turned into a sexual thrill?”
“Most certainly. I have this thing about – I dunno – I like to lick ass, and the fact that the farts didn’t stink, it wasn’t offensive, added some spice to the ass lickin’.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah. I would lick his ass, he would fart in my mouth, I would fuck him, and he wouldn’t even need lotion or lubrication because he was so turned on by farting in my mouth, which turned me on all the more.”
“That good eh?”
“Yeah. The farts were like foreplay.”
“He was a talented man, if he could fart repeatedly at will and they never smelled too bad.”
“Yeah. When he owed me enough farts, he’d put me on standby until he was ready and when it was all good, I’d depants him and go to town.”
“And now you see farts in a whole new light?”
“Somethin’ like that.”
“Thanks for sharing that with me. Your tendency is unusual – I only ever read about it once in a Marquis de Sade book. I'd like to write about it. Would you mind?”
“If you think it’s interesting enough, I don’t give a shit, just don’t let anyone know who I am.”
“OK. I’ll change your name.”
“I like the name Adam.”
“Adam will work.”

Email Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com
or post a comment yourself below.


Anonymous said...

That's disgusting but most amusing, I'm too stunned to say more.

Anonymous said...

... I discovered your writing about 6 months ago and have been glued to every new posting ever since...I scan your blog daily with my breath held in case some awful thing has happened to you...
I would be happy to correspond with you by letter.

Anonymous said...

One of my major worries if i were to be incarcerated would be the threat of assault or rape, yet you seem to handle it so well Jon.

You laugh it off in this blog, seemingly without too much worry for the protection of your choccy starfish!

Is it really this light hearted inside or have you just been fortunate enough (and lets face it, you deserve some luck!) not to have anyone seriously force themselves on you?

Anonymous said...

Ha! There are some truly weird humans among us. The rimjob thing is making great headway in the hetero world these days. I must be some sort of prude, because the thought of rimming someone just doesn't appeal to me. Different strokes for different folks I guess.