15 July 06

Question Time

KR asked if I am suffering much and what I miss most.

After having your head in a vise for a long time, you forget the vise is there.
The worst I had it was at Joe Arpaio’s cockroach-infested jail. It was hard to sleep in those conditions. But it was while I was there that the blog began. Nietzsche claimed that suffering makes noble. I don’t know about noble but it has had a profound effect on me. Suffering has been a real education. Prison has better conditions than in the jail. It's bearable. Things could be worse.

The closeness of a woman is what I miss most. Many prisoners would answer the same. I miss not being able to see my family whenever I want to. Good food and music. Being able to do exactly what I want to do whenever I want to do it. Everything is scheduled here. But still, I’ve developed a routine to channel my manic energy into, from which I obtain a lot of satisfaction.

I’d like to add: I broke the law and put myself in prison. Poor conditions and suffering are part of my fate. I’d hate for anyone to misconstrue from my blogs that I’m complaining about what’s happened to me. As mortified as I was in the beginning, incarceration has worked out to be a blessing.

Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below

Copyright © 2005-2006 Shaun P. Attwood
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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Life's a journey and you're just going through an industrial wasteland. You'll be out in the countryside soon.

Keep your chin up.

5:38 AM
Anonymous said...

In defence of Jon:
If Jon had merely wrote 'my cell is 6 by 8 and has a window, and we get out once per day' - we wouldn't be reading his blog. It is because he tells us about his daily existence and that of his fellow inmates that makes for compelling and entertaining reading. I have not seen any sign of complaint from him anywhere in the blog, he simply states the facts.
Here is an early example witten in a very poetic style:

'On Wednesday I was moved back again to my original floor and into one of the most cockroach-infested pods in the building. I was completely unarmed and I helplessly watched numerous cockroaches size up yours truly from the myriad cracks in the walls. The lights were still on, but I knew that by nighttime I would be doomed. My new cellmate and I didn’t get much sleep, but lay awake watching the legions of cockroaches conquer the room. Whirling around us, they swarmed the floor, the walls, the ceiling, our commissary bags and finally, our bunks.'

Complaining? No. Beautiful prose? Yes

5:49 AM
Anonymous said...

Whatever! You have done well.
Take care. Terry B

2:17 PM
Anonymous said...

You are not alone in this world who feels the same. Even those who are not in jails feel the same way. The feeling of acceptance and belongingness is the best feeling any human being needs to feel. While there is life there is a chance!

8:31 PM
Anonymous said...

WHEN I WENT IN ON A SEVEN YEAR BIT IN 87 I HAD ARTHIRITIS IN BOTH HIPS AND COULD BARELY WALK.
WHEN I GOT TO MY DESTINATION I CHUNKED ALL THE MEDICINES THE PA,S WERE GIVING ME AND DECIDED TO DO IT MYSELF.
FIRST I CHANGED MY DIET AND THEN STARTED WALKING, SOON I WAS TROTTING AND WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR MY RELEASE I WAS RUNNING 7 MILES A DAY.
NO MEDICINE, JUST DIET AND EXERCISE.
I WENT FROM 240 LB TO 175 LB, NO FAT.
I BELIEVE THAT MY INCARCIRATION WAS A BLESSING.
I DID NOT GET ARRESTED, I GOT RESCUED.

7:29 AM
Anonymous said...

The thing I would like to ask from Shaun, dunno if this is the right place to ask questions from in but I'll try anyway, is about his present mentality about drugs. I would like to know how does Shaun feel about drugs today, was he aware of the negative effects of drugs before and has he found out more about drugs and their destructiveness while in prison.

I would assume that in prison there are a lot of people who have had to deal with drugs etc. so it might be a good place to see first hand the negative effects of drug use etc.

5:22 PM

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