Waterstone's Manchester Trafford Centre Book Signing

Other than getting accosted every hour by the giant Waterstone's caterpillar (see the pics below), everything ran smoothly today. After two hours, the regional branch manger pointed out that the fantasy-book author who was also signing books at the same store, had raced ahead of me on sales. As intended, the news stirred up my competitive spirit. I felt suddenly alive.
All offers of food and drink by the kindly staff were declined:
"Would you like us to nip out and get you a bite to eat or a coffee?"
"I don't eat or drink when I'm this focussed. I'm a sales machine. But thanks for asking."
The branch manager approached, "You've taken that movie Wall Street to heart haven't you: 'Lunch is for whimps.'"
"Yes, Gordon Gekko!"
But I did allow Mum two coffee breaks.    

A woman approached with a gaggle of kids who threatened to capsize my display by tugging on the tablecloth.
In order to disract them from the destruction they had in mind, I showed them my cockroach stamps. "I've got a question for you kids. Which colour cockroaches should I stamp my signature with in your mum's book: black or red?"
"Red!"
"Black!"
"Black!"
"Red!"
"Stamp them on my hand!" said a kid, sticking his arm out.
"And my hand!"
Half a dozen kids all stuck their arms out at once, yelling either red or black.
I looked at their mum. "I'm not stamping anything on them without your permission. I don't want to get done for child abuse. That's a KOS charge in prison by the gangs: Kill on sight."
She authorized the stamping of the hands, which proceeded much to the amusement of the shoppers, and the regional branch manager who even offered his hand for a stamp.

The plans I was molling over to do away with the fantasy author didn't need to be put into effect as by mid-afternoon Mum and I had forged ahead on sales. By the end of the signing, we had smashed the previous sales record at that branch for a local author by selling 57 copies of Hard Time. The manager also said that Hard time was the top selling book throughout the country thanks to the signing. The Trafford Centre Waterstone's was the biggest store we've gone to so far. We're back there tomorrow.

Click here for the previous Waterstone's signing blog.    

3 comments:

Shannon Clark said...

Hmmm...huge caterpillars, cockroach handstamping...sounds like Alice in Wonderland, but no, it's only Shaun in the bookstore. With you nothing is ordinary!

Keep the competitive spirit going-good job. Sue O

Anonymous said...

Better a caterpillar than a ROACH... It would have been cool if you had someone in a roach costume! let's see... ROACH vs. CATERPILLAR... Who would win? They probably don't meet often...

Desiree

Jason said...

Nice threads, the black and fitted look works well. Congratulations is in order for the success of your hard labor. "Cheers" from the land of cacti and immigration sweeps.

~big jason