29 August 07

T-Bone's Stress
“British Crumpet,” T-Bone said. “Wattup wanker!”
“Wattup T-Bone!” I said. “How’ve you been doing?”
“Same-ol’ same-o, just a different day. Maintainin’, campaignin’. Dealin’ with people who don’t have strong minds.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Dealin’ with homies who think they’ve gotta act tough. Wannabe tough guys with gangbanger mentalities. If any of these gangbangers walked down an alley alone and met a seven-foot-tall five-hundred-pound dude who demanded their wallet, they’d give it up. They’re only tough when their homies are with them. Then, when they act tough around someone like me, and they get their butts kicked, everyone starts sayin’, ‘You’re bigger than him, it’s not fair.'”
“It sounds like the homies have been stressing you out.”
“I came real close to mud-stompin’ a homey.”
“Mud-stomping?”
“Yeah. Makin’ him a puddle of mud. Faeces and blood combined. You know what I’m sayin’.”
“Yeah. So just one homey pissed you off?”
“No. Quite a few of them.”
“So how are you handing that stress?”
“I don’t have stress.”
“We all have stress.”
“I’m not a wanker though.”
“Well maybe you should be.”
“I miss our conversations, man. With some of the dudes in here it’s like talking to a stone.”
“That’s why you should talk to people you have good chemistry with.”
“True that. Well, I gotta go. Love you, brother.”
“Touche.”

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Copyright © 2006-2007 Shaun P. Attwood

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jon,

Hook T-Bone up. He comes across as a level headed dude. I suggest he gets the pen-pal thing going on with one of them, that way you can guys can continue the friendship in the UK.

By the way, you need to finish the post about what happened in the Kitchen homeboy. We know you are alive and kicken, but what's the deal homey? Please tell us you didn't fold! -Jose in San Diego

Anonymous said...

When you get out, and you shall, please look me up and I'll buy you dinner.
You seem like a true mature human being.
I'll let you camp out in the back yard here in vermont for a few days, and just stare at the stars and listen to crickets.
I've not been in prison, but feel your blog is that of a person who is intelligent and could use some time to think free of clamor.
Jim.

Chris said...

Anonymous Jim

Are you talking about Jon (Shaun) or T-Bone?

Unfortunately, Jon's being deported when he's released... So Vermont may be a little tricky.