17 Oct 04

Odds & Ends

It was Penguin’s birthday on Saturday and he celebrated by drinking what he called "a Cadillac." He mixed enough coffee for 16 cups along with enough chocolate for four cups into a twenty-ounce pop bottle. He explained it was a recipe he had learned during a previous prison sentence. After drinking eight cups of tea, Penguin downed the Caddy.
“I haven’t speeded off coffee like this for 5 years!” Penguin said, his moon face flushing wildly.
A few hours later he projectile vomited the Cadillac into our toilet. Poor Penguin.

It didn’t take Manny long to clash with another guard.
Manny was asleep when a young graveyard-shift officer shone a torch on his face.
“Get dat fuckin’ light out o’ my face, toots!” Manny yelled.
“For bein’ so rude, I’m gonna shine it on yer face every walk tonight.”
“I’m tryin’ to fuckin’ sleep, toots!”
“Tough shit!”
“That’s alright, 'cause I was dreamin’ of yer wife anyway!”
“For sayin’ that, I’m gonna rip up you’re store slip!”
The guard hurriedly left the run, returned with Manny’s store form, ripped it up, and cackled like a mad-man, before departing the run.
Manny’s weekly store order never came, but he seemed unphased.

I had a special visit approved by a sergeant. My Aunty Ann came, accompanied by two of my cousins from England. I got to sit in a little cell and to speak to them through a glass window. Our voices travelled through the window frames. It was Silence of the Lambs style. I hadn’t laughed so hard in a while. At one point my visitors stood up, held hands, danced and sang English folk songs. The visitation staff initially looked askance at them, but they ended up laughing hysterically at the bizarre display. Good lookin' out Aunty Ann and cousins Pat and Frances!

I’ve received more letters from organisations seeking to publish blog extracts and I’ve also received requests for newspaper interviews. I suspect that more articles will be out soon. I’d like to say a big thank you to you, my readers, for the stream of emails and letters offering support.


Anonymous said...

I’d like a signed copy please!! Good luck, “Chin up old bean” (in a best Etonian accent).
I wish you were able to see the “Your View” on the BBC WWW site regarding the Bush re-election, laugh, I nearly cried….

Anonymous said...

Just wandered in from the BBC web site. Beautifully written, interesting stuff. Yes - you did a Bad Thing and you're paying the price for that - which you seem happy to accept as being the case. To read of the conditions that you and your fellow inmates are kept in is a travesty.

In short - your site is a tribute to the freedom of speech. Long may it continue. Your site, obviously, not your prison sentence.

Anonymous said...

It must have been great for you to see your aunties again. They sound like a lively bunch. You obviously all share the brilliant sense of humour that you demonstrate over and over again in your writing. Keep up the good work.
Poor Penguin - I hope he enjoyed his short lived high.
Have they still not told you when you will be moved?

curious cathy