31 Jan 07

Two Tonys Responds to the President’s State of the Union Address

“Didya watch Bush’s speech?” Two Tonys asked.
“I caught some of it at Weird Al’s,” I said. “What did you think of it?”
“What a buncha fuckin’ bullshit. Are the people of the world this fuckin’ gullible? How many times can a guy lie to you? Every fuckin’ year the State of the Union Address is basically, ‘Come on motherfuckers, get down in the front row and listen to my lies.’”
“You’ve read The Great Thoughts. What do you think Schopenhauer would have made of it?”
“The Schop says, ‘Life is fuckin’ short. The truth is fuckin’ long. So for fuck’s sake tell the fuckin’ truth.’ The Schop would have hated the sonovabitch. He wouldn’t have voted for this motherfucker. Would Nietzsche?”
“Nietzsche probably would have called the speech something like, ‘Food for the cabbage brained.’ But aren’t the people who voted for Bush getting what they deserve?”
“Of course they are for allowin’ the motherfucker to do what he does. There’s been times when stompin’ on people like this lead to insurrections. But no one picks up their pitchforks and goes after schleps like Bush anymore. And the replacements are no better. Hillary Clinton – let’s get serious now. John McCain – whatthafuck did he ever do? He was shot down over Nam napalming little Asian kids to death. Whattayou think of Dubya’s speech?”
“It was written for him, spoon-fed to him, and all he had to do was parrot it out. Looking at Bush’s face made me think that his lies are wearing him down.”
“His face is incestuous!” Two Tonys said. “And that doesn’t come from his father’s side. It’s his mother’s side. Look at Barbara - the big old thickheaded squareheaded broad. And that motherfucker Jeb down there in Florida.”
“He lied about the WMD, about Rumsfeld, about Ahmad Chalabi, and now he’s trying to sell the troop surge.”
“Other than for Halliburton and the oil companies and the arms and bomb makers, Iraq is a lost fuckin’ cause. This General Petraeus he’s sendin’ in has a track record for calmin’ things down in Mosul, Kurd country. Just wait till he gets down there with the Shiites. Blood and guts will be flyin’ everywhere. Put some stars and stripes on me, and send me to Mosul, and even I can calm down the motherfucker. Here’s a prediction from an old beat-up lifer in the state pen: the troop surge is gonna fail.”
“It’s twenty to thirty thousand more troops for Halliburton to service though.”
“It don’t take no rocket scientist to figure out that Dick Cheney is influencin’ Bush for the benefit of the Halliburtons of the world. Bush is Cheney’s bitch. Machiavelli and Cheney would have been the all-time best cell partners. There’s reasons for Bush’s lies: they’re benefiting certain people. I’ve lied for my own benefit, like when I was on the witness stand tryin’ to beat a murder beef. Bush’s lies boil down to profits for the contractors who put him in power with their political contributions. That’s payola - it's the American way. To the contractors there’s no difference between Bush and a used-car salesman. Both are tryin’ to sell a product, whether a fucked-up car, or a fucked-up war in Iraq. Both are fuckin’ whores. Now the motherfucker is gettin’ ready to sell a war in Iran. He’s gonna go after those fuckin’ mullahs with Patriot missiles, and farm boys outta Iowa who don’t know any better, slayin’ Iranian kids – collateral damage – with depleted-uranium rounds fired from Black Hawk helicopters. It’s gonna be somethin’, man, I’m tellin’ ya. He’s gonna rock those mullah’s world.”

But life is short and truth works far and lives long: let us speak the truth.
Arthur Schopenhaur – The World as Will and Idea (1819)

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Copyright © 2006-2007 Shaun P. Attwood


Don said...

I love the way Two Tonys just holds it all in. His subtlety is just unbelievable. You never know where you stand with him. (that be satire you know....)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for not writing to you as frequent as I should have. I really don't have a chance to.
I wish your parents send this to you.
Your friend KR.