18 Feb 08

Question Time With A Blood (Part 1)

Trixare4kids wrote: To both the Blood and the Crip: Do you believe that the gang lifestyle was the only one available to you due to your upbringing in a particular neighborhood or your particular circumstances? Does race play a part? What about the people in your neighborhoods who don’t join gangs? What did they do or think differently? Without going into specific details, of course, did you ever feel bad about any of your actions or crimes? If you could rewind your life and go back, would you still join the gang? Why or why not? If you had a little brother about to get “jumped in” - knowing what you know now, would you want him to join? If not, what would you tell him to do instead? What would you tell him to dissuade him?
Bones of South Side Posse Bloods wrote:

Tha Blood.

What’s that B. like!

Let me answer some of your questions.

To your first question. No! First off my parents brought me up as best they could. But I was a knuckle head and wouldn’t listen. I moved out of my parents house around the age of 17 and 18 because I wouldn’t live by their rules. I believe everyone is able to make their own choices in life. I just chose the one my parents didn’t want me to choose. “My bad Mom and Dad.”
As for being in a particular neighborhood, no I don’t think that had much to do with it, because I have homeboys that used to gangbang hard with me, but have never seen inside of a prison. I believe one has his own business and has a family, wife, kids, etc…The other has been working for one company for about 18 years and now is married with kids. For the record, I still don’t believe I pushed him into that bullet he took in the stomach. I believe I pushed him out of the way from taking it directly in the stomach. Ha, ha. (He lived.) Shouts out to Chris G., Mark (ears).
So I guess if they could make it out of the game and be successful in the life they chose, it can’t be because of the neighborhood we grew up in. It’s free will, and as they got to their mid 20s they decided to slow down their involvement. Plus, neither of them did hard drugs.

As for me when I chose to join a gang I chose it for life! I’ll get back to that in a minute. But as for particular circumstances, the only thing I can think of is the popularity it brought. Maybe if I would of lost my first fight in high school as a freshman, I wouldn’t have turned from somewhat of a nerd to a Blood! Well I fought that guy twice. First on school grounds we got busted by security. Then we fought again at lunch time in the park. I was a nobody and he was like one of the cool kids. It was just me and two friends and their sister that went to the park. We were the first ones there, then we look towards the school and here he comes with about fifty people or more. So of course I was nervous. But after a few punches the nervousness was gone and the skills kicked in. At first everyone was cheering for him, then a few people started to cheer for me. I met a good friend there that day “One Eye Ramon.” (South Mountain High School in Phoenix.) It was a long fight with short breaks for him to put his shoe back on, for him to try and stop all of the bleeding, and for him to get off his back. About a 15 minute fight. I broke his nose and he couldn’t stop the bleeding. So he said, “I’ll fight you some other time when I ain’t bleeding.” It was over and we never fought again. So that was the only particular thing I can think of that changed my life. That’s when I became popular. Sometimes I wish I would of lost that fight. But hey, it is what it is. Now I’m a Blood doing time instead of a professional athlete.

As far as race, no it doesn’t play a part in our gang. South Side Posse Blood gang was started by Mexicans. There was also three known black guys who were related. T.T., Jerome, and B.J.. Shouts out to them for keeping it real. B-up doggs. Especially you B.J.. There was also a few white boys like Bart-Man R.I.P.. But mostly Mexican. It didn’t matter what race you were as long as you were down to ride for the hood. Shoot, one of my best friends from the hood is an Italian. And we put in a lot of work together for the hood. And I mean a lot. Robbing, stealing, fighting, shootings, jacking, etc…Shout out to my dogg Scrappy for keeping it real. Not for 5 or 10 years but for life. B-up dogg!!! We never flip, you know what I mean.

As for people who lived in the neighborhoods that weren’t from a gang, most of them mind their own business. Some tried to start a neighborhood watch. But it didn’t work because we were the ones that watch over the neighborhood.

Did I feel bad about my actions and crimes. No! I never felt bad about my crimes, except the ones I got caught for. Ha, ha. As for my actions, I feel bad for all the shit I put my Mom and Dad through, and I plan on making it up to them.

If I could rewind my life and go back would I still join a gang? Hmmmm. No and yes. No because there is little loyalty amongst gang members. Yeah, it starts off like loyalty but when the shit hits the fan, that’s when loyalty starts to fall. I’m not just talking about loyalty like we will go and ride and kill this guy. I’m talking about loyalty all the way. If we killed this guy and you got away and I’m doing time for it and don’t tell on you, I’ve showed you my loyalty. Now will you show me yours and write, visit if possible, put money on my books, through all my time.Will you help my kid or kids I left out on the streets, etc…Or if I die will you help my kid and parents out when ever possible? That is what I don’t see a lot of in the gang life. Maybe two or three out of a hundred will do something like that.
Yes, because I loved the life style of it. I’m an action junkie. But I wouldn’t join just any gang. I would of tried to start my own gang and tried to be a leader of the gang. It wouldn’t be a big one, just about 10 people or 15. And we would all have to be drug free, no dope fiends. And we would all be loyal to each other or die. I don’t know if you could call it a gang, maybe just a crew and we would be about making money. All day every day. Legal and illegal. I think where gangs go wrong is when they don’t have a leader or a plan and they do drugs. Knowing what I know now if I could I would of stayed away from drugs, that was my down fall. I never got caught when I did a crime unless I was on drugs, or had half hearted homies involved with the crime “busters.”

Knowing what I know now I would not let my little brother join a gang. I would tell him he can do whatever he wants, but I would show him all the disloyalty that’s in a gang. Then I would take him and show him a dead body and tell him this is what happens when you get caught slipping ot when your homies leave you hanging. I would tell him instead of joining a gang he should do good in school and try to become an athlete, a professional one. Because that’s where the money is at. And that’s what it takes to make it in this world. Money! Also let him know that when you join it’s for life not just your teenage and early 20s. And ask him if he is ready to die or spend the rest of his life in prison.

You see, I look at gang members like this, when you joined a gang it’s for life not 5 or 10 years. It’s not, well I’m getting older and got a lady and kids. That’s when most x-gang members get killed. Because think about it, when you were younger you killed a few people, who had brothers and good homies that loved the one you killed. And do you think if they see you 10 years later and have a chance to kill you they won’t.
Also I have homeboys that are locked up in prison for the rst of their lives, and homeboys that are dead, and a real good homeboy that’s in a wheelchair for life. (B-up Q. Thanks for being there for me, dogg.) Because they represented the hood to the fullest, what am I supposed to do, tell them that they died for nothing or tell my other ones that I’m out of the gang life because I’m in my 30s. I don’t think so! B-up to all you true Bloods and I’ll get at you doggs when I get out. And for all the phonies you are on borrowed time!!!

I guess what I’m trying to tell people that tell me I’m too old for being involved still in the gang life, is that I put in a lot of work in the past that helped put our hood on the map. But now that I’m older, not too many people that know me will cross me. Because I will if I have to go back to that brazy shit I used to do as a youngster. It’s about when you’re older to help out the fallen doggs and their families if possible. And to school the good and real youngsters. And to start to learn to stack your bread and count your chips.

Well I hope I answered your questions. B-up B.J., Q, Negro, Scrappy, Bucky R.I.P. Chapo, LAZ, Bartman and wher you at Chris G. and Dru.

Until pen meets paper again B-up

Bones

P.S. Loyalty usually ends when you’re locked-up. Out of sight out of mind.

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Copyright © 2007-2008 Shaun P. Attwood

10 comments:

joannie said...

The one thing that struck me in this post was that loyalty falls off when you're inside. That isn't just true for gang members. That's life. Real friends stick it out with you on either side of the wire and they are hard to find.

Anonymous said...
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joannie said...

I'm just wondering, addressing the Maplehurst situation, are these practices standard-our county jail is much the same. They wash and reuse plastic ware-the female inmates do this as a "job", families are never informed of lockdowns, there were few programs for inmates-the killer was boredom even if you wanted to do something to improve your status before a judge or personally, my son was not allowed soap for a period of time...whoever posted this information, is there anything the readers can do to support the inmates?

LX said...

I worked as a volunteer math tutor at an inner city school before and I was struck by how much stock those kids put into the hopes of becoming a professional athlete.

I think it's sad and very indicative of the hopelessness and disenfranchisement of ghetto culture. They don't realize how unrealistic it is that they could become a professional athlete(the odds are overwhelmingly against any individual). They don't have many realistic role models that appeal to them and their culture.

dirtos said...

As for me, I'd be totally up for getting a bullet in my gut for the road and pavements and houses where I live. It's a lovely road, it lets me drive on it and park my car on it, the pavement lets me walk on it, the houses protect me from the wind and my own house keeps me warm at night because I can go in it. Big up to my hood, it's keeping it real, and has been representing for the last 300 years. Bring it on all you haters.

joannie said...

One final comment-this was really a thought-provoking entry...I'm a middle class white person, and have always felt there is nothing I could say or do to help the situation for a person who came up in a ghetto or had these limitations and for whom a gang might provide a "way out". Due to my son's incarceration and subsequent involvement in a recovery group and volunteering in the county lock-up where he started out, I've come to see that there isn't a huge gap between people needing a role model and myself. Maybe this is idealistic, but if you are faithfully in someone's life, available, and really do care, that's the best model there is. People come to trust you. I was shocked a few weeks back when this young black man came up to me after a meeting, put his arms around me and said "thank you". I wondered to myself what for. I think being a teacher, a mentor, someone who provides friendship is all it takes.

Pixie said...

Maybe this is idealistic, but if you are faithfully in someone's life, available, and really do care, that's the best model there is.

Amen, Joannie.

Anonymous said...

Shaun,

I got a letter from Al, and he wanted me to say hi to you on the blog so... Hi :)..

DMB

Anonymous said...

Regarding Bones: Once a sociopath, always a sociopath. Time and place don't matter.

Anonymous said...

Bones is not quite a sociopath. He just has it in his head that there is no other way for him to survive. Everything he said in his answers have logic in them and were well written considering he does not have an editor. He has the ability to change his future. To make big changes, he only needs to do two things. Make things right where possible in past actions that upon further review were not the right move. The other is to stop the illegal lifestyle. Stop doing illegal stuff in pursuit of money. If you need to protect friends and family fine. But get more education and bring in the money legally.