22 Feb 08

From Slope (Letter 1)

1-28-08

To Jon,

Hey you pond-skippin weirdo. What the hell is going on!?

It was good to get your letter, mmm, Guinness!! Sounds good!! Some Guinness and some hairy armpit English girls!! Let me around them and they would be walking around waving American flags and saying victory!! Beer is an aphrodisiac for an American biker!! Keep em coming, there’s enough of Slope to go around once or twice! I hope you did not tape your letter to some poor bastard and make him swim the pond! We have enough immigration shit going on!

I love the dorm life!! It’s like having 39 cellies! But the stinking cops can’t lock it down! We have toilets, showers, and a party if it’s right! Although we had us a homo, he turned out to be a fraud though, a counterfeit homo. We’ve been here 2 months and he has not gobbled a cock yet!! So I called him on it! Not that I want to hang my meat in his jaw bone. So, it comes out, during an inquisition, that he told the screws that he was gay, and everybody else that he is gay because of the homophobes, so he would not be harrassed. He really is just a jellyfish and a counterfeit fag. It is a shame. We need us an honest to goodness homo in a dorm, coffee, foot rubs, wash sox, suck cocks and domestic duties you know?
Does that make me a chauvinist? Fuck em!

Well, it was good to hear from you. No reason to trip on not being able to say good bye. I always say see ya when I see you because things have a way of doing full circles and bamm you’re face to face again!

You know they did a thing on the Tucson news with you doing an interview about Sherrif Joe Arpaio, the sorriest sheriff in America. I bet he wears women’s clothes and gets a curling iron up his ass while sniffin dog shit.

So, you gonna put stuff on your blog about me? How about putting a worldwide request for women to send me their pics. I got 25yrs in this year. And quit yankin your crank! You’re out now, get somebody else to do it, preferably female!

Well, I’m going to get this in the mail box. Have a great day and keep your head up!! Both heads! Know I have nothing but love & respect for you, you’re my pet Limey. Keep your focus. I do hope to hear from you when you get time!

With respect

Slope

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Copyright © 2007-2008 Shaun P. Attwood

3 comments:

joannie said...

Hilarious!! Slope always came off as so ridiculously hillbilly, and he's quite the wit! I especially enjoyed the comment about dear Sheriff A. I could somehow picture that. Randy job for a biker-I love 'em all.

Anonymous said...

Shaun,

Has any organization made an attempt to advocate on Slopes' behalf regarding his release? -Jose in San Diego

Jon said...

Jose,

Not that I know of. He sees the parole board soon.