21 Jun 08

Xena On Prison Rape (Part 3)

Xena - A transsexual giant and Wiccan priest. The charismatic leader of Cult Of Xena (COX). Tattoos include a wasp on his penis and ant trails running up his legs. Recently cut off a testicle, and almost bled to death.
Xena wrote the following (note, like many prisoners Xena uses “she” and “her” to describe male prison transsexuals):
Most people who I talk to who ask about coming out of the closet in prison, want to know if it is any easier to do so. I always say yes, that is, for peace of mind. But no because of all the assholes who may want to rape you.

Most men in prison have desires for relationships. Yet when they are sent here their desires are held in check. When a man sees me, tall, clean, breasts, their sexual desires are awakened but they are also sickened by their own fantasies. This leads to them wanting to fuck me and hurt me, and most of the time they just want to rape someone. Rape serves them two purposes – they release their sexual tension and rid themselves of their anger.

I have seen it many times. An angry young man who is serving 10+ years rape a homosexual, and afterward he becomes pleasant and placid. All I can do is lend my shoulder for her tears and keep all my emotions in check, so no one here sees weakness in me. I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been raped several times in here. I have also seen others raped and could do nothing about it because I was too afraid to even move. Their screams are permanent memories in me.

Thirteen years ago my friend Smoothy was raped and murdered. The ones who did it were never prosecuted because DOC did not find enough evidence on them. Yet DOC never checked the body for DNA properly because they had stabbed her over a hundred times and cut her head off. Homosexuals in prison aren’t treated as people therefore it is acceptable that we die.

I know another who had her head cut off. Out of the three who killed her, only one is doing life for her murder because the other two were already in for life.

I had a friend who was beaten raped and had a light bulb shoved in her ass. Their game was to try and bust the bulb while it was in her body. She killed herself afterward.

They always shove things into us after they rape us. When I had been raped, they always shoved something in me before they were done. It’s finality, relief in a fucked up way for all of us!

To read Xena On Prison Rape (Part 1) in which Xena describes being raped and then violated with a broomstick click on: http://jonsjailjournal.blogspot.com/2005/07/20-july-05-xena-on-being-raped-what.html

Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below

Copyright © 2008-2009 Shaun P. Attwood


Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

On the outside, the assumption is almost always that a rape victim is a female. Yet in prison the assumption would be a homosexual male. What about a man who is not, or what might go on in a women's prison (I never hear anything among the women I meet with and would be afraid to ask)? The act is awful no matter who the victim or the perpetrator is-it's just that you don't hear so much about the latter situations. And Xena, that's horrible-I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

thank u shaun on writing more about xena

Chris H said...

Big Dawg,

Did you receive this from Xena recently or is this from before you wee released/before you lost contact?

Is she OK? Have you heard anymore about her condition?

As I'm sure you know from my previos blogs, rape is right up there with murder on the scale of crime, to me at least. My thoughts are with Xena and all the other victims whose voices are ignored.

Hugs and kisses,

Chtis H

Jon said...

Chris ,

Xena has still not been in touch.


Chris H said...

Big Dawg,

Was there a Part 2 to this??

Chris H

Chris H said...

Big Dawg,

Yes, yes there was!


Hugs and kisses,

Chris H

Anonymous said...

Shaun, I've been reading your blog for years, and my thoughts have often been with you and the others like you who have had to suffer the awful conditions you describe.

I'm really sorry but I just felt I had to post this. This will seem like nit-picking to some but I'm sure to many others it will not.

It's really unfair and impolite to refer to a male-female transgendered person as 'he'. To a transgendered person, being referred to as the gender they were born in rather than their assumed gender is as upsetting, or worse, than if people were to start referring to a 'normal' man as 'her'.

You seem like a very open-minded person generally, and I would respectfully ask you to consider not classifying transgendered persons solely by their birth gender, as this is not the gender they identify with.

Thank you,

Anonymous said...

have u heard anything new from him i have heard nothing deana