23 June 08
Released Today: Weird Al
Weird Al - The most unlikely bank robber you are ever likely to meet. His true story of suicide by cop gives new meaning to the power of unchecked depression. His cutting wit would make a stoic monk giggle.
Weird Al wrote:
June 10, 2008
Two cannibals were having dinner. They were eating a clown.
One of the cannibals suddenly stopped eating, put down his fork, and said to his flesh-eating buddy, “Does this taste funny to you?”
Just a quick note to say hello, and let you know that the State of Arizona, in a rare yet colossal and epileptic fit of unbridled wisdom, has graciously decided to unleash me on the unsuspecting public on June 23, 2008.
Almost immediately following my release from this fart-filled cancerous cave, I will begin hurling insults across the North Atlantic at a speed of approximately 250 megahertz via my newly-installed high-speed Internet connection.
Put on your verbal body armor. Forewarned is forearmed.
In the meanwhile, to keep myself pleasantly amused, I have begun to give all the staff here, as well as many of the prisoners, my unique version of what I like to call the “stink eye.”
It generally goes something like this:
They say, “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I’m giving you the stink eye,” I reply.
“Why are ya doing that?” they ask.
“I usually ignore the question and say, “How does the stink eye make you feel?”
“Uncomfortable,” they say.
“Then my work here is finished,” I reply, and leave to find my next victim.
As you may recall, I’m easily amused.
p.s. Say hi to your parents for me and also to Aunt Lily if you see or talk to her.
You can congratulate or slander Weird Al on his release by leaving a comment here. He has Internet access and shall be reading all of your comments.
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Copyright © 2007-2008 Shaun P. Attwood