21 Apr 09

Guest Writer: Lifer David – Cretins in the Closet

Serving life in prison in Texas, David is the author of the blog Prison Proxy. This is his second guest post for Jon’s Jail Journal, and he once again focuses on the subject of prisoners performing acts of exhibitionist masturbation. He also responds to your previous comments at the end of this blog.

One of my former cellmates has hygienic and masturbatory issues. He got in school several months ago to take GED classes, and the other day, he got locked up (in the jail within this prison) for masturbating in front of one of the counselors.

When inmates do that in front of guards, it’s a quasi-serious case that can either go major or minor in terms of disciplinary sanctions. But when a “free-world” person is involved (in prison, there are three existential tiers of people: free-world people, officers and rank, and inmates), the offending inmate goes to jail and the case goes major.

Of course, handling the issue with the seriousness it deserves is right and proper. The masturbation problem is, to my knowledge, predominantly in prison culture. As young teens, it was a grossly embarrassing subject, and as adults it’s at the very least a pretty private one. Yet, here in prison, it somehow morphs into an honorable thing, for the vast majority, especially when exhibited to women!

So, it’s no surprise that free-world women who come to the school here to teach (and are more desperately needed than I can convey) will find masturbating cretins lurking in broom closets. Ironically, the only cure to this cultural problem is in more teaching!

Just last night, the female correctional officer on our wing was under a barrage of exhibitionist attacks. “Put it up!”, “I’m writing cases!”, “I don’t want to see you doing that!”, she kept pleading. Once, she even said, “Put your hands up!”

Put your hands up? That would be comical if weren’t actually happening! I mean, imagine some little doubled over devil who, locked in a vice of ignorance as he is, has hands with minds of their own, and simply won’t stop that juvenile jitterbug! Put your hands up (you dirty rascal), I suppose is a logical retort.

When she arrived at my cell, my cellie and I had our ID cards ready for her perusal (it was her duty to check them). Shockingly sweet (given all the screaming she’d just done), she simply said, “Thank you” and checked the cards. And with a smile, happy as she was to have a respite from the storm, even if it was merely the eye of the hurricane, she said, “Bless you.”

And with that, I immediately went to sleep. Just another day at the office.


Lifer David responds to your comments:

Responding to your comments about my Justice League of America post and your problem with my use of the term rape, you guys are correct. I, due to forgoing looking up the word intercourse, wasn’t aware that it necessitates physical contact. Hence “sight rape” is a contradiction in terms. My apologies.

Of course, actual rape is most often the logical end of such unabashed flagrant sexual harassment, and my awareness of this fact colored the rest of my argument.

That said, responding to anonymous “spin” is the last thing I want to do in any of my posts. And everything in existence either promotes life or death, to vastly varying degrees. Some rap music, due to the poisonous metaphysical views contained therein, does “kill” its listeners everyday. When I was but a wee impressionable lad of 16, I started using prescription drugs because my favorite rap artists validated said activity as “cool.” Did these pills not kill me daily?

Moreover, the Justice League of America is cheating the nurse out of the respect she deserves, and poisoning their own consciousnesses by acting grotesquely, and without integrity, intelligence, and honor! There’s no spin to that, buddy, as reality will so judge.

Thanks again for your comments!

Click here to read more from David at his blog Prison Proxy.

Our friends inside appreciate your comments.

Email comments and questions for Lifer David to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

284 comments:

1 – 200 of 284   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

"Put your hands up!"

That's hilarious. Made me laugh out loud, David.

Anonymous said...

i don't like this guy. sorry. so if your favorite rapper said to bend over and take it up the anus you would have? come on now. you try to attach too many events with metaphors and it ends up making your writing weak. the rush limbaugh of posting. uninteresting and boring. always blaming others and not taking responsibility. sounds just like those who blame marilyn manson for the colombine killings. get real. we are waiting for you to blame the tv show oz for your incarceration as well.

Anonymous said...

while i agree with anon about the rap blameshifting, i also think anon is being a bit harsh

lifer david is covering some interesting ground, this masturbation stuff is something we've not previously read about

Ghost

Anonymous said...

While I agree with Ghost that the comments were a bit harsh and he/she could have came up with some constructive criticism, they do have a valid point. I wouldn't go as far as the "up the anus" thing, but to hold someone else accountable for your actions is a cop out. I was turned off by the visual rape post of before and I was waiting to see if he would come around a bit on this next posting, but I am still on the fence. No disrespect to the writer, but I tend to agree a bit with Anon and Ghost. The blame game is a bit much. -Jose in San Diego.

Chris Phoenix said...

If the people and media around us control our choices, then we're just boring robots.

If they have absolutely no impact on our choices, then we're even more boring robots, because all we have left is what we were born with, and we're just playing out a tawdry script that other people don't even get to help write.

We've all seen how two people can have a nightmarish experience, and one is unaffected, and the other is twisted. So it's not just in the experience.

But we've also all seen how the wrong kind of friends can drag a person down. Is it going too far to say that media can drag a person down too?

David seems to have a more nuanced view, not looking for cause and effect, but association. Rap music, for him, is associated with drugs. I don't read him as blaming the rap music, just identifying it as an influence.

And maybe the real influence was the friends he had who mirrored the music. I suspect you guys would say, "A-ha, so you were wrong about the music!" and David would say, "Meh, whatever, it was a bad scene." He'd just say in in terms of karma and theory.

Chris

Anonymous said...

INCARCERATING EACH INDIVIDUAL ONE TO A CELL AND KEEPING THEM THERE FOR THEIR ENTIRE SENTENCE WILL STOP ALL THE PROBLEMS IN OUR PRISONS. PRISONERS SHOULD GROW THEIR OWN FOOD (VEGETARIAN DIET NEVER KILLED ANYONE) AND ONE INMATE A DAY COULD BE LET OUT TO TEND THE GARDENS, EXCERSISE, WALK AROUND IN FRESH AIR FOR A DAY, CONTEMPLATE ON HOW NOT TO BE RE-INCARCERATED, ETC. THE GUARD POPULATION WOULD BE REDUCED DRAMATICALLY, COSTS OF RUNNING PRISONS WOULD PLUMMET, AND DANGER TO BOTH INMATES AND PERSONNEL PRACTICALLY ELIMINATED. OF COURSE, WE SHOULD ONLY INCARCERATE INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE PROVEN TO BE A PHYSICAL THREAT TO SOCIETY. RETHINKING SOLUTIONS WILL WORK ONLY IF WE CAN MANAGE TO DO ONE THING: THINK/COMMUNICATE ( oh, yeah, that's two things - my bad!)

Shane Eden

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