21 Apr 09

Guest Writer: Lifer David – Cretins in the Closet

Serving life in prison in Texas, David is the author of the blog Prison Proxy. This is his second guest post for Jon’s Jail Journal, and he once again focuses on the subject of prisoners performing acts of exhibitionist masturbation. He also responds to your previous comments at the end of this blog.

One of my former cellmates has hygienic and masturbatory issues. He got in school several months ago to take GED classes, and the other day, he got locked up (in the jail within this prison) for masturbating in front of one of the counselors.

When inmates do that in front of guards, it’s a quasi-serious case that can either go major or minor in terms of disciplinary sanctions. But when a “free-world” person is involved (in prison, there are three existential tiers of people: free-world people, officers and rank, and inmates), the offending inmate goes to jail and the case goes major.

Of course, handling the issue with the seriousness it deserves is right and proper. The masturbation problem is, to my knowledge, predominantly in prison culture. As young teens, it was a grossly embarrassing subject, and as adults it’s at the very least a pretty private one. Yet, here in prison, it somehow morphs into an honorable thing, for the vast majority, especially when exhibited to women!

So, it’s no surprise that free-world women who come to the school here to teach (and are more desperately needed than I can convey) will find masturbating cretins lurking in broom closets. Ironically, the only cure to this cultural problem is in more teaching!

Just last night, the female correctional officer on our wing was under a barrage of exhibitionist attacks. “Put it up!”, “I’m writing cases!”, “I don’t want to see you doing that!”, she kept pleading. Once, she even said, “Put your hands up!”

Put your hands up? That would be comical if weren’t actually happening! I mean, imagine some little doubled over devil who, locked in a vice of ignorance as he is, has hands with minds of their own, and simply won’t stop that juvenile jitterbug! Put your hands up (you dirty rascal), I suppose is a logical retort.

When she arrived at my cell, my cellie and I had our ID cards ready for her perusal (it was her duty to check them). Shockingly sweet (given all the screaming she’d just done), she simply said, “Thank you” and checked the cards. And with a smile, happy as she was to have a respite from the storm, even if it was merely the eye of the hurricane, she said, “Bless you.”

And with that, I immediately went to sleep. Just another day at the office.


Lifer David responds to your comments:

Responding to your comments about my Justice League of America post and your problem with my use of the term rape, you guys are correct. I, due to forgoing looking up the word intercourse, wasn’t aware that it necessitates physical contact. Hence “sight rape” is a contradiction in terms. My apologies.

Of course, actual rape is most often the logical end of such unabashed flagrant sexual harassment, and my awareness of this fact colored the rest of my argument.

That said, responding to anonymous “spin” is the last thing I want to do in any of my posts. And everything in existence either promotes life or death, to vastly varying degrees. Some rap music, due to the poisonous metaphysical views contained therein, does “kill” its listeners everyday. When I was but a wee impressionable lad of 16, I started using prescription drugs because my favorite rap artists validated said activity as “cool.” Did these pills not kill me daily?

Moreover, the Justice League of America is cheating the nurse out of the respect she deserves, and poisoning their own consciousnesses by acting grotesquely, and without integrity, intelligence, and honor! There’s no spin to that, buddy, as reality will so judge.

Thanks again for your comments!

Click here to read more from David at his blog Prison Proxy.

Our friends inside appreciate your comments.

Email comments and questions for Lifer David to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood