Prison Recipe for Tattoo Removal (by Polish Avenger)

Polish Avenger - A software-engineering undergraduate sentenced to 25 years because his friend was shot dead during a burglary they were both committing. Author of the classic "Shit Slinger" series.
 
15 little packets of salt
1 handkerchief
High pain tolerance
Willingness to act stupid
Hooch (optional, but strongly recommended)

Get plowed on hooch. Wet the handkerchief and pour salt on it liberally. Shave the tattooed area. Rub the handkerchief on it in a circular sanding motion. The salt acts as an abrasive, and quite literally eats the skin away as you rub. Oh yeah, that old expression about “rubbing salt in the wound,” there’s a reason why they say that. Yes, as you might expect, it hurts like a purple hairy bastard!

Continue sanding for about an hour until the area is an angry beet-red color. Rinse, bandage, and prepare for a solid month of excruciating and itchy recovery time. The recovery is even worse than the sanding. In my case, every little movement of my foot caused the edge of the scab to crack open again and leak out a thick custardy pus, and the itch was maddening at times.

The tattoo itself doesn’t come off during the sanding. Planing off the skin above it has the curious effect that as it heals, new tissue from below pushes the ink up and out.
On the happy day that the godforsaken scab finally comes off, you can hold it up to the light and see the tattoo suspended in it like a ghastly holocaust item. In fact, I kept part of mine in a photo album for years until the humidity made it all gooey and stinky.

In the end, it worked for me. She was gone. Unfortunately, I had gone a bit too deep, and had a blazing scar in her place. Whoops! The fellows assured me it would lighten up over time. It has – after about five years! Today, it’s still discoloured but nowhere as disgusting as it used to be.

Ever one for irony, I wound up getting another tattoo there anyway to cover up the scar! Ha ha! But no more girls’ names – this time it’s a memorial to my real true love: the caffeine molecule! Yes, on my ankle I have the molecular diagram and chemical formula for the greatest stuff ever invented. Now that’s ink I can live with!

Click here for Polish Avenger’s previous blog on prison ink.

Our friends inside appreciate your comments.

Email comments and questions for Polish Avenger to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG..that sounds painful.

~Miranda

leigh said...

oh god! and he was just talking about how he didn't like his tattoo last weekend at visitation...i hope this isn't widespread prison knowledge!! ouch!

Anonymous said...

Ah holy shit!! I'll pass on that one.

M2

Anonymous said...

You should have asked a woman. You know all those nice bath salts and skin scrubs? There's a reason salts go in the bath, and sugars go in the scrubs. Use sugar, not salt. It's much easier on the skin. It melts faster, so you will have to keep replenishing it, but it will not be nearly as painful (especially as the skin actually opens up).

Anonymous said...

Frickin awesome remedy, I will be trying it soon, mine I think gonna be a bit more painful, I think. My tats are on both my temple's. Tired of rep seekers always tryin shit and just regular Joes tryin to assume I'm more than a Father, Husband and hella of a freind.

Daniel

sesilia said...

There are lots of methods use forTattoo removal laser
but all of them are secure one should be careful while choosing a treatment for
his/her tattoos….

Anonymous said...

I simply could not go away your site before suggesting that I actually loved the usual info an individual supply to your guests?
Is going to be again regularly to inspect new posts

Look at my website :: paleo diät
my page - paläodiät

Anonymous said...

I every time used to study piece of writing in news
papers but now as I am a user of web so from now I am using net for content, thanks to
web.

my website; low carb toast

Anonymous said...

Good day! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

Feel free to visit my web site; suche arbeit
my web site :: gesunde ernährung abnehmen plan

Anonymous said...

I don't know whether it's just me or if perhaps everybody else experiencing issues with
your blog. It looks like some of the text within your posts are running off the
screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me know
if this is happening to them too? This could be a problem with my browser because
I've had this happen before. Thank you

my site - Finanzberatung Wiesbaden

Anonymous said...

Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging
for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website
is fantastic, as well as the content!

my web-site - cholesterinarme ernährung

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that's both educative and amusing, and without a doubt, you
have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something not enough people are speaking intelligently
about. I am very happy I stumbled across this during my search for something relating to this.


Feel free to surf to my weblog primal diät

Anonymous said...

Good info. Lucky me I recently found your blog by chance (stumbleupon).

I have saved as a favorite for later!

Also visit my page: Thai-Massage

sathyam shonkho said...

The profession of medical aesthetics laser therapy courses has expanded a lot in few years and it is evolving as largest business of the USA. Many New technologies in cosmetic surgery have created new dimensions of this industry and, this growing industry is in need huge population of trained cosmetic laser specialists on all sectors of laser operations and proper problem selection. Nowadays having a medical aesthetics laser courses are like shining your fete for future.

Alan Abraham said...

When you have an unwanted tattoo with the ex girl or boy name for example, the main safe solution for clear this from the skin is the Laser tattoo removal delhi strategy.

Tattoo Removal said...

How much did you spend on Tattoo Removal?

Shruti Verma said...

Great Post.Nowadays laser technology is one of the most used techniques for Tattoo removal.

Jr. Williams said...

Suggestion about tattoo removal?
laser tattoo removal Wolverhampton

Ben Jackson said...

Good writing...keep posting dear friend
thread vein removal Wolverhampton

Jhon Marshal said...

I guess there's always an easier way ...
skincare online store

Jhon Marshal said...

Good topic, this is going to help a lot of people get the whole concept
olive oil skin care

Jeevan Neviah said...

Thank you for sharing the post. Tattoo Removal

heler 123 said...

Intersting blogger...Thanks for sharing...you are looking for free pain less tattoo removal then fallow the bellow link
tattoo removal centre in bangalore

White Rock Laser Clinic said...

White Rock Laser Clinic has established a dominant position in the market by offering a wide range of services such wrinkles removal, birth marks, body hair removal, age spots removal,Wart and skin, Veins removal and much more. We have occupied the market by creating a powerful brand and large customer base through delivering reliable and healthy cosmetic treatments.