Weird Al’s Memoir (Part 1)

Weird Al - The most unlikely bank robber you’re ever likely to meet. His true story of suicide by cop gives new meaning to the power of unchecked depression. He was released on 23rd June 08, and appears to have refrained from committing any more crimes.
He is working on his memoir, which begins:

Allan woke up that morning handcuffed to a dead man. The dead man attached to Allan's right hand was a dear friend, a Mexican citizen by the name of Joaquin Reyes Magalone. He was a good, honest man. A simple farmer who Allan had hired two years earlier to grow pot for him. Allan called him Jack. He called Allan, Gringo. The year was 1977. The place was a police compound in the small mountain town of Uruapan in the Mexican state of Michoacan. Allan had just turned 24.

When Allan went to sleep the previous night, after three days of torture at the hands of the Federales, Jack had seemed hurt, but not too badly. Jack's last words on this earth were, roughly translated into English, "Son of the one who got fucked. These Federales are real pieces of work, but don't worry, Gringo, in the morning all will be better." Didn't happen. Jack died in his sleep.

In the morning, Allan awoke to Jack's dead eyes, wide open and staring at the ceiling of their small adobe cell. Allan knew instantly that Jack was dead, but at first refused to believe it. He began to talk to Jack, hoping somehow it would bring him back to life. During the next two days, while Allan was handcuffed to Jack's dead body, they had many conversations. The dead, under the right circumstances, can be quite talkative.

Weird Al is hoping for constructive feedback on his writing by way of comments.

Click here for Weird Al At Large.

Post comments below or email them to To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood


Jon said...

I think it's superb, Al, for the following reasons:

The opening sentence grabbed me right away.

The prose is clear and effective.

The surreal element to paragraph three injects humour into an extremely morbid situation.

You have a pleasant underlying tone of voice.

These three paragraphs make me want to read more.

Shaun Attwood

AndrewM said...

Haven't I read this before on this blog?

I still like it. Give us more.

vanessa said...

I want to know more too. You have some real skill at writing Al. Please keep going...

Anonymous said...

Excellent opening Al.
It is really gripping straight away and darkly humourous. I am looking forward to hearing more about the conversations with the dead.

Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

I absolutely agree the opening line just grabs attention right away. My mind began painting the scene as it was described. I also like the reference to looking into Jack's dead eyes. Once again, a very vivid picture in my mind. I'm wondering how it all connects. Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

i would like to know how on earth weird al gets out of this mess?

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