Weird Al’s Memoir (Part 1)
Weird Al - The most unlikely bank robber you’re ever likely to meet. His true story of suicide by cop gives new meaning to the power of unchecked depression. He was released on 23rd June 08, and appears to have refrained from committing any more crimes.
He is working on his memoir, which begins:
Allan woke up that morning handcuffed to a dead man. The dead man attached to Allan's right hand was a dear friend, a Mexican citizen by the name of Joaquin Reyes Magalone. He was a good, honest man. A simple farmer who Allan had hired two years earlier to grow pot for him. Allan called him Jack. He called Allan, Gringo. The year was 1977. The place was a police compound in the small mountain town of Uruapan in the Mexican state of Michoacan. Allan had just turned 24.
When Allan went to sleep the previous night, after three days of torture at the hands of the Federales, Jack had seemed hurt, but not too badly. Jack's last words on this earth were, roughly translated into English, "Son of the one who got fucked. These Federales are real pieces of work, but don't worry, Gringo, in the morning all will be better." Didn't happen. Jack died in his sleep.
In the morning, Allan awoke to Jack's dead eyes, wide open and staring at the ceiling of their small adobe cell. Allan knew instantly that Jack was dead, but at first refused to believe it. He began to talk to Jack, hoping somehow it would bring him back to life. During the next two days, while Allan was handcuffed to Jack's dead body, they had many conversations. The dead, under the right circumstances, can be quite talkative.
Weird Al is hoping for constructive feedback on his writing by way of comments.
Click here for Weird Al At Large.
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Shaun P. Attwood