Prison Pot Pie Recipe (by Wild Man)

Wild Man - My large and fearless raving partner from my hometown. He looked out for me in Arpaio’s jail after we were arrested, and is one of the main characters in Hard Time. His first day at Buckeye prison, he knocked out the head of the whites in his dorm, so the Aryan Brotherhood put him in charge.

You need these ingredients:

From the inmate store:

1 box of Cheez-It (little square cheesy crackers available at the inmate store)
1 Rip-N-Ready Beef Tips in Gravy
1 jalapeno cheese squeeze
1 bag of beans
1 hot spicy sausage

Stolen from the kitchen:

salt
pepper
garlic

You put the crackers on a bag stolen from the kitchen and crush them up. Add the salt, pepper, garlic and a bit of boiling water. Then you knead it, and the crackers turn into a dough. You let it cool for a little bit, and you flatten it out by rolling a peanut butter jar over it. Your goal is to make it a nice square about the size of a dinner plate. You put the bag of beans and the spicy sausage on it. You put half of the Rip-N-Ready on it, and the jalapeno cheese squeeze. Now you’ve got a big lump of meat and food on pastry. It’s still on the bag, so you grab one corner and the other corner, and the other and the other. It makes it go round. Then you twist it. You tie a knot on it, and steam it for three hours in an ice chest. It comes out with no moisture at all in the crackers and it’s actually cooked like a crust. You let it cool for about an hour. It tastes just like a pot pie and it’s absolutely fit.

Click here to read how Wild Man brewed prison hooch