16 June 05

Druid’s Birthday Card


Druid, who has just turned sixty-eight, looks like a shaggy-faced and toothless Sean Connery. He claims to be a native of the Isle of Man, (a small independent island off the north west coast of England).

For Druid’s birthday, Long Island purchased a Mother’s Day card (this falls on 9th May in the US) in which he taped three homoerotic pics from one of Adam’s gay porno mags. The pics were of musclebound men mounting other men on all fours who were wearing blindfolds. Before the card was given to Druid, various inmates signed it.

“Happy B-Day you dirty old bastard. These pics are from the Isle of Man travel brochure. I always knew you were a freak!”
“Sorry we had to break into your wedding album, but we wanted to give you somethin' personal.”
“Suck an old fat cock.”
“It was interesting to find these pictures of you in your younger years. What a stud!”
“Happy B-Day you fur-faced zipper-sniffer!!!”
“I don’t want you to look at these pictures and wish I'd do you the same way. I just want to spend some time in your crack. Happy B-Day Gramps!” (Written vertically where the card folds i.e. ‘the crack’)
“I see your true side has finally surfaced.”
“Looks like you and Harley are having a good time here (ha!).”
“Happy B-Day. We found some old pictures of you in your younger days. Stay off the ‘Base Ball Field’ you’re too old.”
“Happy B-Day. We thought you'd like pictures of yourself.”
“Hey, you Queen. Here’s hoping that this is absolutely your last B’day.”

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