06 July 05

Bloody Hell!

Suddenly, English swear words are all the rage. In the day room and in the chow line inmates can be heard swapping insults in mock British accents. I'm inundated with requests for swear words most of these people have never heard of.
Here's an exchange I heard while standing in the chow line.
“You pillock!”
“Bloody hell! Who are you callin’ a pillock, you plonker?”
“Cor blimey! You puddled bugger. Where’s the rent boys at?”
“Who are you callin’ a rent boy, you cheeky bugger?”
“Not you, you soft get.”

Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below

Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Abba? - Xena could sing "Dancing Queen"

Anonymous said...

How about songs from 'Half a sixpence' for real cockney slang - or 'My ole man's a dustman'?!
On a biased note - 'In my Liverpool home...'? OK Laa (Ha,Ha)

Terry B

Anonymous said...

How about Cypress Hill - Riot starter.

Anonymous said...

that is just too funny - you mad english pillock !

Tony said...

Ha, trust a chubbed-up Northern monkey to come up with such soft invectives as "soft get"

We may be Southern shandy drinking fairies down this way but we do have a pretty good handle on the insults.

Like, "you orangesuit-wearing, turd-pushing, rentboy using, knob-gobbling, wanna be uppity colonist, no barrister having, desert prison hopping toss-pot".

wink

Keep the faith mate.

Tony, Phoenix.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jon How are you holding up? I just came across your blog while surfing the net at the office. Wow, very disturbing. I don't know how I could have hacked the cockroaches. I am deadly afraid of them ... and yet I live in Taiwan and my house is frequently raided by them. Gives me nightmares. Well, I have to get back to work. So I can't thoroughly go through your blog now but I was wondering how much time were you finally sentenced to? I find it an interesting blog. Many insights on the "realities" of prison life. For example, I didn't know prisoners could use the internet.
Rose

Jon said...

Hi Rose, Thanks for the email.I do not have access to computers or the Internet. I hand write the blogs, mail them to my parents in the UK and they post them on the blog for me. This is why the dates are always behind. If you would like to write to me direct, my address is below:

Shaun Attwood ADC 187160
ASPC-Tucson Santa Rita Unit
4-D-11, PO Box 24406
10012 S. Wilmot Rd
Tucson, AZ 85734-4406
USA

Cheers, Jon

Anonymous said...

Hi Jon I'm inclined to think it's Shaun...

Alas, I found your blog online - ironically, I was doing a search on
"jail loaf" and found your writings.

I really enjoy your writing.

Regards,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

Jon, there's so much we take for granted on the outside, and I appreciate all the information about life in prison. As I tried imagining what your life must be like, I tried picturing you adding posts to your blog, which left me wondering a few things: When you create your daily post, what type of restrictions are on your computer? Do you have have ftp access via dos or other downloadable utility? Do you have gaurds watching over your shoulder or do you have privacy? How much time are you allotted per week/day to be on the Internet? Are you restricted from certain sites, like amazon or yahoo stores? Would one be able to run a virtual business from prison?

Anonymous said...

Just read the above post about not having Internet access. Sorry 'bout the duplicate post.