29 Jan 06

A Shane Day

“What did you do today?” I asked Shane.
“Hmmm, let me think," Shane said. “I woke up fifteen minutes before breakfast, and had a smoke and a cup of coffee before chow. I graced you and Weird Al with my presence at breakfast, and taunted Al about his Jewish diet – something I’ve recently become obsessed with doing.
I spent the morning doing what I do best: loitering in front of my cell, or hanging out in my cell reading or doing legal work. Now that your good ol’ mum and dad have gone, I no longer have to keep an eye out for would-be looters intent on ransacking your cell.”
“And a good looter preventer you were!”
“Also, this morning, I plotted my next tactics against ValueOptions. I’ve been slightly manic the past couple of days, but I’ve been much worse. It’ll pass – as always.
I wrote a letter twice and threw it away. I couldn’t get the right words out. I’ve been trying to write it for a few weeks now. Maybe tomorrow.
At dinner, I dined with you and Al, and pointed out the deficiencies of Al’s Jewish diet – strictly for Al’s benefit of course.
Then I paid you an evening visit for some conversation – but the cell doesn’t look the same without all of your Christmas cards. I love shiny things! I must comment though on your visitor’s area: the dirty sheet your celly left on your sofa – that’s gotta go. What would your mum say?”

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Copyright © 2005-2006 Shaun P. Attwood

2 comments:

Rosanne said...

Hello from Taiwan ... Sorry I haven't replied to your letter. I'm very terrible with "snail mail" but just wanted to leave a comment here to say hello. Hope things are 'bearable' over there for you.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jon,
Haven't written in ages but hope you're OK. Things are a bit manic at the mo. How's the Chinese coming along? Will drop you a line soon. FYI, it's meant to snow in London this week!
Emma, Wimbledon