12 Feb 08

Month 2

I’ve been out of prison for two months. The mental breakdown my parents expected hasn’t materialised, but I've had some bouts with loneliness. I’m getting more used to living in England. I’m even acclimatising to the cold. My social life has picked up, but I’ll get to that shortly.

I write for up to ten hours a day, including weekends. Now that I’ve finished editing the blog, I’ve moved onto a second draft of my life story. I wrote the first in 2003, but I left out details that might have caused legal problems, or health problems for my parents. I’m thinking of dividing the book into three parts: stockbroking, raving and incarceration.

I’m continuing my education with courses from The Teaching Company. I just started The History of World Literature taught by Professor Grant L. Voth of Monterey Peninsula College.

Hammy read your comments out loud in the Ring O’ Bells. His drinking friends lapped them up. He wants to do a follow-up blog “to set the record straight.”

Some of you expressed worry over my pubbing and drinking – that I’m on the road back to my partying days. I appreciate your concerns, but I assure you that’s not the case. I’m fully focussed on moving my literary projects forward and becoming an author. Going out for a few drinks on the weekend has just been a way to expand my social life. My parents say I spend too much time at home on the computer, and they are conspiring ways to get me out of the house more often.

Aza took me for an Indian meal in Stockton Heath. Leaving the restaurant, one of the diners asked if we were a gay couple.

I've had two dates with Posh Bird, a former air hostess (or “trolley dolly” as she called it), who quit her job, enrolled in Chester University, and has nearly finished a degree in Early Childhood Studies. She starts studying for a Postgraduate Certificate in Education in September. She has pale-blue eyes, and brown hair in a bob that brings out the prettiness of her face.
She drove us to Warrington where we watched No Country for Old Men, based on the book by Cormac McCarthy (whose The Road I enjoyed reading in prison). While she munched on popcorn, I scoffed chocolate Brazil nuts. Frightened by the psychopath played by Javier Bardem, I insisted Posh Bird hold my hand.
After the movie, we went to the Horse and Jockey, a small pub packed with old men, pints of dark beer in hand. When we walked in, the room fell quiet, and everyone stared at us. Actually, most of them ogled Posh Bird in her jumper dress. As we wended our way through them to get to the bar, they remained stock-still as if they had all been suddenly frozen holding their pints in the air. Momentarily, Posh Bird’s face took on a hunted look, until the old men turned back to the business of drinking and blather.

Last Friday, I went to the Playhouse with two friends, Iain and Julian, to watch Kafka’s Metamorphosis, a book I’ve read five times. The book starts with Gregor Samsa waking up to discover he has turned into a beetle. At first, I was disappointed in the lack of a beetle costume. But the actor pulled amusing beetle faces, and it took great strength to hang from the ceilings and walls. The play added a new dimension to the book. When it ended the audience applauded for ten minutes.
After the play we stopped at two pubs in Liverpool. Gangs of women in skimpy attrire, some in fancy dress, were roaming the pubs and streets.
“These days they hunt in packs,” Iain said.
It reminded me of a tourist destination in Spain – especially with all of the promoters luring passers-by into bars – and not the Liverpool I went to university at.
Boarding the last train home at 11:30, Iain said, “’Cause of all of the pissheads, the inspectors are too scared to check tickets on this train.” It was standing room only, and directly below me two young women fondled each other. I had to ask some drunken youths doing cocaine in the restroom to step outside so I could use it.

After the Bells on Saturday, I took a taxi to Bar Reef to meet Posh Bird. She looked stunning in a dress low cut at the back that tied around her neck. That night, I drank a couple of pints of cider and one Red Bull and vodka. We talked into the small hours:
“You’re good looking, how come you’re not in a relationship?” I asked.
“I just came out of a long relationship, and I’m just not ready at the minute, or I need to find the right person.”
“Right person?”
“Someone who’s got a nice personality. Who’s sensitive, is a good listener, intelligent, and has a good sense of humour. I have to be attracted to him as well.”
“My Mum said you’re sensible and you’d be a good influence on me. How does that work?”
“I’m just naturally sensible of course, so I’m hoping it’s going to rub off on you. You’re someone who can be easily misled.”
“Easily misled!” I said, and gasped.“Where did you come up with that from?”
“I can just tell.”

Is Posh Bird right about me being easily misled? Is she the kind of sensible influence I need in my life?

Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below

Copyright © 2007-2008 Shaun P. Attwood


Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

Sounds like you lucked out with brains, beauty and someone who is honest!! Enjoy being under that influence...

Anonymous said...

I don't think you are easily "misled". If that were the case, then you'd be a whole lot messed up from your time at the "luxury accommodations" in Arizona-you know? No, I think you know exactly what you are doing, maybe you faltered a bit several years ago however, that path was one YOU chose. Now look at you!! Be proud and always own up for your actions. NO Shaun~not "misled" but hanging around people who will "misguide" you if giving the chance is probably not the best idea. It is comforting that someone is looking out for you. Posh Bird is definitely one to keep around-no harm no fowl (get it?!)

naughtington said...

I'm gripped by the Posh Bird story already. She sounds very nice. Can't wait to hear more, good luck!


Anonymous said...

posh bird sounds perfect for you - good luck

Anonymous said...

Nah , if you were easily mis-led you would have surely sucked a cock or two in the Big house. Shaun you don't need a mother , you don't need a bird that wants to chnage you ....you need to get laid on a regular basis by a chick that will give you all the space you need ..no strings booty calls...Keep it all about you for the time being! JUST GET SOME ACTION!!

Anonymous said...

I am glad Hammy enjoyed the commentary! LOL! I look forward to a rebuttal.

Anonymous said...

Posh Bird sounds like she'll be good for you. She sounds beautiful and intelligent too, an added bonus.

Anonymous said...

So glad to read you are dating someone who is not a psycho! I'm sorry...I breathed a huge sigh of relief reading that. I just felt Royo Girl was taking advantage of your very emotionally open and vulnerable nature, which Posh Bird seems to recognize clearly.

Anonymous said...

She sounds very nice but my concern is that she might be a bit high maintenance, due to your description of her magnificent beauty. She may also be a good influence for you, but do you really want to be kissing someones ass all the time or do you want an equal? Good Luck and I hope that what I say is not the case, you deserve the best.

Anonymous said...

Right now, all you need in your life is you. Posh Bird sounds like a lovely lady, but you're still getting on your feet and figuring out life.
I am currently mentoring a 20 year old (ex) meth addict - the daughter of a very close friend. She spent the last year in jail and was in jail when here mum passed away.
Her life is up to her, not what everyone wants her to be. All we can do is guide her, advise her and be there for her. Her life is what she will make it, and that goes the same for you.
You have a lot of potential and are fully aware of your downfall but also accept the consequences of what you did.
Don't let some girl come into your life and mess uup all you've done at this point (no offence, Posh Bird, seriously!).
Hang out with her, have fun with her, but remember who you are and where you've been and where you intend to go. Don't fuck this opportunity up.

Mel said...

Posh Bird seems ambitious herself so I don't think she's likely to stand in the way of what you want to do. It's also clear that she likes you so I'm sure she would not want to 'mess' up your future opportunities. This is the last thing Posh Bird wants.

Anonymous said...

nothing more frightening than a group of scouse birds all making full use of whatever limited resources they've got, all out on the prowl....

Anonymous said...

I wish i knew that No Country For Old Men was that complex/deep. It really does command your upmost attention span. Even after watching it i have to admit that there is still deep mystery for me in aspects of the film.

sparrow said...

Do YOU feel you need a "sensible influence" in your life? And, is that what you want in a relationship (assuming that is where this is going). I wonder if you might not be the more influencial one, based on what I have read here in your journals. You seem to have a very positive impact on people and their lives.

Anonymous said...

so it's Royo Girl vs Posh Bird...ah yes, what a way to give Royo Girl the universal gesture. ;-) Forgive me. I just wish I were a fly on the wall when that meeting happens. You pisstazzler!

Anonymous said...

It seems things are going well with Posh Bird, it certainly sounds promising! I'm really pleased for you that you're getting your life on track so quickly after getting out.

Anonymous said...

Posh Bird sounds like a babe, but "sensible" doesn't rub off, trust me. Has it occurred to you that you might be particularly susceptible to the charms of unscrupulous ladies at this point? Posh Bird sounds lovely--I'm half in love with her myself, so I think you should be careful and protect your heart. If someone had bad intentions, it might be easy for them to exploit you right now, having just got out of prison and everything. So I think you need to get some good, healthy experience with women in to sort of acclimate yourself to dating again.

I agree with the commenter who suggested you should maybe just get it on with a nice lady friend, no strings attached. Someone who's intelligent and good-looking but with whom it's not really feasible to develop a relationship with. Forgive me for being so crude but I think you need to be broken in before you start looking for true love. You're re-virginized at this point.

Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

This blog is like a bag of Doritos-it's just too hard not to keep reaching in. I suppose I could point out the obvious, though I know being with women in the flesh is different than writing to them, but I don't know single man on the face of the planet who is more privy to a woman's mind than this guy with a harem of faithful female bloggers, writers and admirers ;-)! I think, my friend, you will be just fine.

Anonymous said...

I fully agree! ~Noelle

Anonymous said...

Easily misled? You? I don't think so...Naive... maybe a tiny bit. You are too strong minded and guarded to be easily "misled".

Is Posh Bird a sensible influence in your life? You tell us! Although you are sensible, we all need "somebody else" sensible in our lives. In my opinion, she's a sweetheart, but, is TOO posh. You tell us.