03 July 06

The Danger of Being a Brit in an American Prison on Independence Day (Part 1)

Travelling home from Two Tonys’, some inmates obstructed my way.
“Down with the queen I say!” Short Dog yelled. “No taxation without representation!”
“Two-hundred-and-thirty years of independence, and we’re still barbarians!” Slope howled.
“Bugger Independence Day!” I yelled at the inmates gathering in front of Building B.
My reply caused more inmates, large and tattooed, to come out of their cells and stare at me.
Hurrying away, I heard one of them shout, “Whatthafuck did the goddam Limey just say?”
If I were a Cyclops I would have chopped them up and eaten them for supper. Instead, I opted for appeasement. I stopped walking, raised my fist, and yelled, “I said, ‘Hurrah for Independence Day!’" Chased by their yells, I dashed home.

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Copyright © 2005-2006 Shaun P. Attwood

4 comments:

Auz said...

The irony is, of course, if, as a limey, you work in the US you get taxed without the right to vote...

lobsterback said...

hi there, long time reader first time writer here.
most yanks dont realise that they were taxed far more AFTER their revolution than they ever were before. Also,only about 30% of the populus at the time were pro independence. About 15% were pro British and the rest just wanted to keep their heads down. The way the war is now taught to every single American child is one of the greatest re-writes of history the world has ever known. I've known American acquaintainces to teeter on the edge of violence when they have their perceptions challenged on this subject so my advice is to keep schtum!
Probably best you dont actually say any of this and keep your head down! Maybe get a stars and stripes up in your cell ;-)
I'd send you a few books on it but you'd probably get shanked so I shall spare you that pleasure.
Take it easy in there.

Tony said...

Most Americans don't know that they were not being taxed, the King dropped import tax on foreign tea and local tea cost more than Indian tea to buy.

Funnily enough, the owners of the largest American tea company were signers of the Declaration of Independence.

Weird huh?

They also don't know that only five people died at the Boston Massacre and the Captain of the British Garrison was tried and aquitted.

Funnily enough he was defended by John Adams, another signer of the declaration on Independence

Anonymous said...

Stand up for your rights and get knocked down for your impudence! (ha,ha).