30 May 06

Shakedowns

After breakfast, guards swarmed Yard 4, and began to search our cells.

My penis shrinkage began when I saw a guard known to search inmates' foreskins walking toward Building D. I felt relieved when he stopped at the downstairs run.
A guard entered my cell and said, “Enjoying reading?”
I'd spent the morning in a world created by John Updike. “Yeah. I sure am.”
“I need you to strip.” After examining my body, he said,“Get dressed, and take your mattress outside.”

Outdoors, an ovoid man wearing an Arizona T-shirt was scanning mattresses with a metal detector that looked like a flying saucer on a stick. He was the oldest staff member I had ever seen. Next to Ovoid Man, stood the GED teacher, Mr Davidson. “And how are you this fine mornin’?” he asked as he ticked my name on a clipboard.
“Jolly good,” I said.
Ovoid Man began cruising his metal detector over an area of dirt, and it beeped frantically. “Lieutenant, this durts got fuckin’ metal in it everywhere,” he rasped as if gasping for oxygen.
The lieutenant aimlessly kicked some dirt around. Nothing was found.

“Jon, you can go back to your cell now,” said the guard who had searched my cell.
I was welcomed home by a mess on my bunk consisting of clothes, jars of peanut butter,
boxes of crackers, bags of pretzels, books, cassette tapes, bedding, pens, writing pads, and letters. I quickly put everything back where it belonged, and made the bed.

The cluster of inmates outside watched everything of theirs deemed contraband get seized. Some looked tense. Some irate. Some clowned around.

Dressed in black and looking like a vampire who didn't belong out in the sun, ADW Smith arrived. With him came a large operations officer (OO), chewing on a cigar and with a wild look in his eyes. A guard presented the OO with some pieces of metal. The OO removed the cigar from his mouth, nodded knowingly at the metal, grinned at the metal, clicked his walkie-talkie, and said, “Can you come to Yard 4? We need some info regarding metal objects.” Then he put the cigar back in his mouth, and blew out a cloud of smoke. The cloud steadily ascended until a flock of pigeons flew through it.

The shakedowns on Yard 4 lasted all morning. Then the guards invaded Yard 3.

Addendum: a lengthy shank was found in Pop’s mattress. Pops and Slingblade were sent to lockdown. There’s now an investigation and possible criminal charges for dangerous weapon possession, which could jeopardise Slingblade’s parole.
There’s a rumour the shank was planted. But who did it or why remains a mystery.

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Copyright © 2005-2006 Shaun P. Attwood

1 comment:

Chris Hawthorne said...

Why would ANYONE want to frame those 2?!?

A question that I have often wondered, what contraband do YOU have Shaun? I find it hard to believe that you've got nothing that is in violation!

Another thought, what would happen if they came to my house and did one of these checks? What is regardrd as contraband these days? If you're allowed a TV and radio in your cell, what IS contraband? Besides the obvious weaponary, drug and booze booze paraphernalia and other such naughtiness.

Love you big daddy!

Chris H