02 April 07

Kat (Part 2)

Kat asked whether I had a crush on him.
“No,” I replied. “Although I can see how attractive you are, I know where I stand with my sexuality.”
“Well,” Kat said, “someone said, 'Jon thinks you’re very attractive.'”
“I can see you’re very attractive, but I never said that to anyone. Someone is trying to stir up a love interest between us.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but I already have a boyfriend.”
“Damn! I guess I won’t be crossing that line anytime soon then.”
We laughed.
“So what’s it like being a queen in prison?”
“When I first came in I knew queens were taken advantage of in prison. But guys were kinda afraid to approach me 'cause I have this attitude. I’m told I carry myself in a way that doesn’t make me a target. I’ve seen other queens act so very out there – like they were asking for it – and they were constantly picked on. In here, it’s almost like your attitude controls your surroundings. As time went on, people understood they’d rather have me as a friend than have a sexual relationship with me.”
“Has anyone tried to rape you?”
“In prison, gays are open to being raped, but I’ve never experienced anything like that.”
“Is prison easier for homosexuals or heterosexuals?”
“For gays because officers look at gays as being more trustworthy. Prisoners say, ‘How come gays get away with everything?’ It’s because we’re less threatening, and we tend to befriend the female COs.”
“Has prison been an education for you?”
“Yes. It’s been a very good experience in numerous ways.”
“Such as?”
“Gratitude. Now I know what gratitude is. When I was out there in the world, I took things for granted – including my parents. They were just two people in the world that I saw. Now I don’t see them, I miss them. I’m so grateful that I have these two people in my life. They’re my rock of unconditional love.”
“I can relate to that.”
“I have also realised that I can overcome anything no matter what the situation.”
“That’s good.”

Kat gave me his latest W magazine. I enjoyed pictures of Lindsay Lohan in Gucci, and Sienna Miller in a Zara skirt, knee-high gold python Devi Kroell boots, a bondage harness from Coco de Mer strapped across her chest, and silk chiffon briefs from agentprovocateur.com.

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Copyright © 2006-2007 Shaun P. Attwood

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Being gay, being innately different, has always been a great crucible on the soul, magnified by extreme circumstances.