30 April 07

Psychotherapy with Dr. T (2)

“So what’s stressing you out?” Dr. T asked.
“My release,” I said. “I keep thinking that I’m not going to get released come this November.”
“Anxiety is normal in this situation. I would expect your symptoms to increase as you get closer to the date. Have you not been using your cognitive techniques?”
“Yes. I’ve been reading more Aurelius and Epictetus. And last night I posted to my wall something I read in my latest Siddha Yoga lesson: concentrating on any problem only serves to intensify it. I even laugh at how ridiculous I am for worrying but then later on I convince myself I’m not getting out again. Do I have short-termer madness?”
“That’s not how I’d describe it. This anxiety is a normal thing.”
“Even if it keeps me awake at night with racing thoughts? So many strange things have happened with my legal case it almost seems as if the law of averages indicates that my release will get botched somehow.”
“Staying up at nights is not a good thing. You need to sleep. Concentrate on your breathing. Are you aware of how rapidly you’re breathing now?”
“I wasn’t, but now I am. I felt so excited when this year began. But now my thoughts have shifted into another direction.”
“Freedom equals the realisation of your hopes and fears. You must use your cognitive techniques or else your symptoms will get much worse. Is there anything else bothering you?”
“No. We’ve covered my main concern.”
“Then put in a HNR if you need to see me again.”
“OK. Thanks.”
Feeling stressed out, I walked home wishing a lengthy session with Dr. O were available. Then I realised how spoiled I was by Dr. O.

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Copyright © 2006-2007 Shaun P. Attwood


joannie said...

One thing that I have learned, though not easily, is that the path to freedom from emotional distress comes in the form of feeling it with total honesty, and then surrendering everything (for me, to God). In time the outcomes don't matter because whether things go smoothly or get botched, you can accept it with peace.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jon

I suffer with stress, its part of my overall condition. Not that I suffer from overalls, the sort of thing workmen wear but I see where you are coming from.

Come to think of it, I Do suffer from overalls. I was laying some concrete in the front of a house last week and I suddenly found that I was completely covered in overalls. I had not put them on myself so I must accept that it is part of my medical condition. (which is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)

I jumped from John Hirst's blog to your blog. More power to your elbow, sir!

BTW you are out in November, innit!