05 May 08

From Two Tonys (Letter 4)

Two Tonys - A whacker of men and Mafia associate serving multiple life sentences for murders and violent crimes. Claims all his victims "had it coming."


Hey,

I received your letter of 3-26-08 along with the blogs. You sound as if you’re doing fun things over there. I like that. That War & Peace sounds interesting. I saw the movie 40 yrs ago put out by the Russkies. They used the Red Army to film the war scenes and did a good job. I enjoyed it. None of that Hollywood plastic sets shit.
But I’d really like to see Beckett. I’ve only been to one play in my life, a musical in Vegas called Auntie Mame with Juliet Prowse, Sinatra’s old squeeze. It was fun. I’d really enjoy an English play by English actors in England. But I’ll always have Masterpiece Theater. That’s a great show. I really enjoyed Henry VIII and Elizabeth I. That’s what I named my daughter Elizabeth. She’s a queen in my heart. Maybe not of the British Isles, but of my heart.

Hey bro, Xena is back. I guess he didn’t do a good job and he’s still packing a schlong with an accesory part. What the fuck is wrong with me? Here I am writing my pal across the pond and discussing another bloke’s schlong. But I know he’s your friend and you want an update. Anyway, he’s on the yard. Drop him a line. I’m sure he’ll fill you in on his Home Depot surgery. I can’t pump up my own nutsack to ask him. How do you ask a guy, “Oh, by the way, did you get all your nuts or did you leave a wee bit?” I’ll let you handle that, if you want.

I’ve got this guy, his name is Warrior. Nice guy. Clean cut. Smart. Good reader. He’s trying to make something out of himself in here, for when he gets out. He read your blogs and I’ve told him a lot about you. He’s got 5 years to do. He wants to write you with some of his thoughts and views on prison. I’ve told him I’ve got to check with you before he gets your address. Think about it and get back with me. This guy is OK. He’s no thug. Clean cut, etc. It’s your call.

So your sis moved to Abu Dhabi. That’s where they cut your hands off for shoplifting ain’t it? Imagine the justice they would hand out to the likes of Two Tonys. I’ll pass. Unless they want me as the guy doing the cutting. I’d want the chomo section. I’d cut their peckers off. I can dream can’t I?

Hey friend, give my regards to the folks and keep on keeping on. You’re doing a good job over there.

Oh yeah, they moved me to another building. Then they moved me back about a week later, and I lost my job as a shower porter in the move. I just put in for graveyard shift sanitation. I just dump garbage at night with a couple of other guys, not a bad job. 25 cents per hour, and I’m out of my cell for a few hours. I think this is called atonement. Is that correct? Who gives a fuck? I do what I do. Survival, bro. Only the strong make it. I’m 67 and I can hang out with most of these young guys. And the record shows I can take a lickin and keep on tickin. I got to stay busy, that’s the key staying busy. And reading, writing, watching sports, Masterpiece Theater.

What the fuck is up with this Beckham dude? I mean, God bless him, he’s got it going on, good for him. I like his old lady. And he seems cool, but I can’t get into that game you guys call football. I like the real football, not that version you guys serve up. Oh well, to each his or her own.

Stay strong. “This life ain’t nothing but a donut and the hole keeps getting bigger.”

Later Pals,

Two Tonys


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Copyright © 2007-2008 Shaun P. Attwood

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

what does two tonys mean "i want the chomo section"?

Noelle said...

I think it was a typo-was supposed to be "homo"--am I right??

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

Child Molester = chomo.

Jon said...

In prison slang chomo means child molester.

Noelle said...

Ewwww!