Waterstone’s Wilmslow Book Signing

Mum and I spent a wonderful day book signing in Wilmslow. The customers were the friendliest people on Earth. They asked questions, expressed interest, and seemed genuinely delighted that we had dropped into their town. As we doled out flyers, not a single shopper tried to intimidate us with a get-out-of-my-face how-dare-you-waste-my-time frown.

The atmosphere was so good that Mum even ventured outside, presenting flyers to passers-by – some of whom hurried in and bought the book with minimal demands for all sorts of information from me.

Mum quickly conquered the street, striking up conversations left and right, devoid of awkwardness, generating positive reactions as if she could do no wrong, almost as if the universe had decided to return to her in double form all of the good vibrations she was giving off.

A lady told Mum that she didn’t read much because it took her too long, and that she only read books with big print. Mum showed her Hard Time, to which she replied, “The print is too small.” But after a ten-minute chat, she bought it. An hour later she ran into the store, proclaiming to the people gathered around my table that she had started reading Hard Time over a cup of coffee, and couldn’t stop. Hope you continue to enjoy it, Sarah!

A Prison Break fan devoted to Wentworth Miller bought a copy of Hard Time. I told her that people keep suggesting that Wentworth should play me if Hard Time becomes a movie. She said that would be a good way to get girls all over the world to watch it. I'm going to mail Wentworth a copy of Hard Time.       

Being in such harmony with my surroundings unfortunately meant that I had no choice but to lower my usual work ethic and allow Mum to take multiple breaks. I even filmed evidence of this – in order to crush into silence those of you who believe that I don’t ever allow Mum to rest during the book-pushing hours. Naysayers, please see the YouTube video below.

I would like to direct all of the followers of the remote-control cockroach to the photo section, and more specifically to the lad in grey, clutching the mechanical insect affectionately with one hand, pressing one of the remote-control buttons with the other.

The manager had ordered 40 copies. Although footfall was moderate, we sold out and left early. But don’t worry disciplinarians, I won’t be allowing Mum to leave early this coming Good Friday in Warrington – or, hopefully, ever again for that matter!

Click here for the previous book signing blog

 "Would you like my signature stamped with red or black cockroaches?"

Shaun Attwood