07 August 06

Peanut Butter Fart Thoughts

Now that Smoker is here my days of basking in the odour of peanut-butter farts are over. As I write this I’m holding several strong ones in. Prison etiquette requires that I don’t launch them off the top bunk onto my cellmate. I’ll liberate them when I next take a leak. It seems to be an accepted practice to fart while peeing. Sometimes you can’t stop this from happening. I’m assuming its an accepted practice to fart while peeing because of all my cellmates I’ve heard do it. It seems to happen more times than normal gas slippage could account for. After hearing it happen so many times it became an accepted practice of mine. What is not an accepted practice is lying on the top bunk and running my feet along the ceiling in a kind of yoga position with my posterior close to my face then letting one rip. I won’t be doing any of that with Smoker here.

Smoker is taking a leak right now, and he farted. I took advantage of the situation by following suit with a silent one that is redolent of peanut butter.

I think I’d better concentrate on writing the philosphical piece I started yesterday…

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Copyright © 2005-2006 Shaun P. Attwood


Anonymous said...

Ok you just made me spit soda all over my keyboard !! Hope you got the books I sent you ok. Sorry I am not writing some of the ...er... stuff others are writing you but well, as you know I've been there and don't want another tshirt !!

Anonymous said...

'Chinese Perfume' - by 'Who-let- one go'!!!! I couldn't resist this child age joke.
Take care.
Terry B