12 August 06

Do I have a Haemorrhoid? (Part 3)

A few days later the cream was delivered: Formulation R Hemorrhoidal Ointment.
What's this skinny black tube with holes in it for? I thought. How bizarre. I'b better read the instructions. Attach applicator to tube. Lubricate applicator well, and then gently insert applicator into the rectum. Thoroughly cleanse applicator after each use and replace protective cover. They’ve got to be kidding. That's not happening. Not in this lifetime. The lump is on the outside. I'll just smear it on and hope for the best. There we go, that did it. It was easy enough to find. Let's get the grease washed off. Whoa. What's that tickling sensation? Active ingredients. My goodness - it's getting stronger and stronger. The last time I experienced this was after Thai food. How am I going to be able to keep a straight face on the yard?