22 July 07

Kat (4)

Kat agreed to talk about prison sex.
“Xena said most prisoners do sexual things with each other,” I said.
“Well, Xena would know 'cause she’s been down longer than I have,” Kat said.
“How can a prisoner get a blow job and still consider himself straight?”
“’Cause of where we are. They need the sexual gratification, so they go to a gay person and that’s acceptable in here.”
“In the book Freakonomics, Levitt and Dubner claim that when a man is sent to prison, the cost of sex with women rises so high it makes sex with men more attractive. Do you think that’s true?”
“I agree with that. There’s a lot of inmates who turn gay while in prison.”
“What percent of prisoners do you estimate are doing gay acts?”
“Seventy-five percent. A lot of 'em say, ‘You know what, Kat? I’ve never considered having sex with another guy, but there’s something about you that brings that on.’ Guys who say they’re straight are always hitting on me.”
My door swung open. Outcast charged in, shook his behind near Kat’s lap, put his face to mine and said, “I see what you’re up to. You Brits come over here and steal our women like Madonna and Gwen and now you think you can steal our men. I’ve got this, Jon. I’ll show you how to do it gay style 'cause I’m queerer than a three-dollar bill and today is Pleasure Yourself Day. Kat has tight buns. Wouldja like to come by and watch sometime?”
“Whatever!” Kat said, scowling at Outcast.
“I’ll pass,” I said.
Outcast ran out of the cell.
“What’s the freakiest sex stuff that goes on in here?”

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