03 July 07

Odds & Ends

A Lakota Sioux Indian of the Teton-wan tribe was found hung in his cell. At first it was thought he had committed suicide, but now a murder investigation is underway. Five suspects, including Repo, were moved to the hole.

Xena was diagnosed with – shock of shocks – gender identity disorder. He is cellbound and on painkillers due to an enlarged prostrate. He has been scheduled for a biopsy.

Weird Al went to St. Mary’s hospital to get the polyps in his rectum removed. He awoke mid-operation to hear the doctor cracking a joke to a female nurse about Al’s behind. Al interjected some sarcasm and was promptly put under again.

Thanks to our friends at www.lostvault.com (including Don) Frankie has found some romance by way of Cuban Boy, who wrote to me: “I cannot fool myself or Frankie to blurt it out that I love him…I want to spend some quality time with him, and see how it goes…It might be possible that he has plans in store for me, and as I can tell by his letters to me, he has some fucking dirty things on his mind.” He also wrote: “Frankie is doing well under the circumstances. His neighbour is a gay guy, so what more can he wish for.”

The hot weather is adding new dimensions of torture to my workouts with Iron Man, who has a penchant bordering on homicidal for the phrase, "Embrace the pain." He has us doing sprints in the evening, and my heart beats so fast it's hard to get to sleep afterwards. Iron Man insisted I drink powdered milk to help gain weight.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio appeared on CNN offering Paris Hilton a cell at his jail. CNN terminated the interview when Arpaio began to boast about the pittance it costs the taxpayers to feed his inmates. What Arpaio didn't boast about was the millions he is costing the taxpayers due to all of the lawsuits he has generated. Nor did he boast about how the lawsuits are farmed out to his attorney friends, who bill the taxpayers outrageous sums. Nor did he mention the kickbacks he receives from them– including political contributions.

The library was closed because hooch was discovered brewing in there.

I’ve been receiving visits from an inmate who states he likes to hold his urine in for as long as possible - until it hurts. He then basks in relief when he finally lets it go. He keeps insisting I give it a try. I haven’t done so.



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Copyright © 2006-2007 Shaun P. Attwood


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Subject: Tent City

I recently spent 15 days there. I first want it understood that I understand the theory of 'crime and punishment'. Long story short, day one self surrender, left in holding cell at LBJ for 8 hours. No lunch and almost missed 'dinner'. They 'lost' my medications for 15 hours. Brought them to me at 2AM. I had asked for them 5 times before they were found. OK, I understand mistakes. Day two they 'lost' my ID card, could not get out for work. Swell, I can't call the office. Day three, they decide to 'remake' my ID card. OK, now I have something. The times written on the order to go to jail by the judge, do not matter. The DO's (detention officers) seem to run their own 'dog and pony show' with Joe's blessings. I am guessing he has no idea what really happens there, or he sees/hears what he wants and ignores the rest. I was late for work 8 out of 10 days because my release order said on the half hour, DO's do not release on the half hour. It is not convenient for their schedule. Lesson learned. Meanwhile, it is 114 to 120 degrees 'on the yard'. Drinking water shortage is a constant issue. One jug a day is what is allowed on the female side. Good luck trying to get you medicine on any kind of schedule prescribed by your doctor. 'You have no rights you are in jail'. Is the common response of the unsupervised DO's. I am reasonably sure it is not my fault that they hate their jobs and/or are underpaid. We discussed at great length in 'our tent' how/why Joe can possibly be respected by anyone who has never been in 'his care'. It is plain and simple ignorance, pretend there is not a problem and it is no longer a problem. I guess this worked out to be longer than I expected. I will be writing in greater detail to be given for free to anyone who asks, this should not be 'kept under wraps' anymore.

Tonya said...

I came across your blog quite by accident yesterday and read it one pretty much in once sitting ~ I was sucked right in. I wish I'd found it sooner; however, I'm also glad to hear you will be free soon. I intend to try and whip out at least one real "snail mail" letter here before you get going, short timer. It's really too late to send a sub now, but I wonder if you've ever come across a magazine called the Sun? Opinion?

Snail mail to follow.
~Tonya

English Tim said...

If you dont fancy staying with Joe again, to my mind he's doing something right for christs sake!

English Charles said...

I agree with English Tim. Perhaps it is because I am English too, who knows. You committed a crime, you paid the price. It is a prison not a holiday camp and perhaps you not wanting to have to ever experience it again might make you think twice about committing another crime in the future.

Anonymous said...

Mmm. Mirror 'readers'. I'm not sure much of what Arpaio does is actually legal. Murder isn't. Torture isn't. Neglect isn't. Many inmates haven't even been tried. Read the blog and the Arizona press for more. The man is evil and his methods have been shown not to work. Throwing angry people onto the street with nothing but the clothes on their backs rarely ends well.
Two wrongs do not make a right.