14 May 05

Frankie Is Here

I was returning to my cell from the chow hall when a stocky Chicano requested my presence at the poker table.
“I’ve been asked to tell you that Frankie is here,” he whispered in my ear. He also divulged that Frankie is housed on the other side of Building 2, thus, I shall not be going to rec or chow with him.

Through some mutual friends I’m going to arrange a meeting with Frankie. I intend to maintain our friendship, but also to make it clear that the prison marriage he desires is not an option. Out of all the thousands of men I met in the jail system, isn’t it odd that I am now sharing a roof with Frankie?

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12 May 05

The Howard League For Penal Reform

I would like to thank Finola Farrant, the Project Manager at the Howard League For Penal Reform for requesting and publishing a written piece about my time spent on remand.
The HLFPR is an organisation that works tirelessly for humane and rational reform of the penal system.

Keep up the good work Finola!

In solidarity,
08 May 05

Prison Lingo

Jarod in San Francisco has asked me to translate a passage from the Bible into prison lingo. So, as I enjoy the clash between David and Goliath, I have chosen 1 Samuel 17 (45-50).

1 Samuel 17

45 Then David said to the Philistines, “ You come to me with a sword, with a spear and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of the hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.”
46 “This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you…”
47 “Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hands.”
48 So it was, when the Philistine arose and drew near to meet David, that David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine.
49 Then David put his hand into his bag and took out a stone; and he slung it and struck the Philistine in his forehead, so that the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth.
50 So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him. But there was no sword in the hand of David.

1 Sammy 17

45 David called out the dude who looked like he could crank a whole lotta iron on the weight pile, “It’s lookin’ like you’re strapped with a shank and a shiv, but I’m not stressin’ cos the Big Homey Upstairs has got my back.”
46 “Punk Philistine, today your ass is out.”
47 “Bitch, all the homies on the rec field are gunna see that you’re a take-it- in-the-ass sissy boy.”
48 The puffed up Philistine moved on David, and David was squared up to handle business.
49 David broke out with his own shit; the Philistine was smashed in the head with a battery, and fell tits down on the rec field.
50 Without a shank, David had taken the Philistine out with a battery in a sock.

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03 May 05

Xena Responds

After reading the comments posted to the blog Bon Voyage Balls, Xena responded:

Anatomy check for those who do not know what a vas deferens is: the extension of the epididymis of the testis that ascends from the scrotum and joins the seminal vesicle to form the ejaculatory duct. It is enclosed by fibrous connective tissue with blood vessels, nerves and lymphatics, and passes through the inguinal canal as part of the spermatic cord.
The operation was not done because Gina hated herself or wanted to cause any self-harm. She truly feels at peace, having performed her makeshift surgery, as I would considering her personality.
Yours truly, Xena

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23 April 05

Frankie’s Imminent Arrival

Frankie has been approved for this unit. There are two buildings here, each containing four fifty-man pods, so there is a one in eight chance that I’ll be sharing a pod with Frankie, and a one in four chance that I’ll be going to the chow hall and the rec field with him ( two pods at a time eat together and attend rec together). Regardless of where he is housed, I will inevitably see him soon.

Following the sandwiched love letter I received a second letter from Frankie:

“What’s up? Did you find yourself another esposo [husband]? How are things going on at your end besides you cheating on me? I thought it was all about you and me. It’s all gravy cause nobody can lay pipe like me. Tu esposo [Your husband]”

After being approved for this unit it usually takes between one to two months to get transported. Now that Frankie is approved he should be here soon.
17 April 05

Ganja: should it be legalised?

My reading has led me to believe there are various solutions available that would go some way to solving the problem of prison overcrowding. In this blog entry I am going to suggest a simple government policy change that could reduce overcrowding. Although this idea will be considered radical by some, it is supported by such people as Milton Friedman.

According to the book You Are Being Lied To there are more prisoners incarcerated for marijuana charges in the US than the entire prison population of Europe. A solution to prison overcrowding could be the government legalising weed and selling it at cost. What would that achieve? Imagine the reduced stress on the justice and prison systems if all nondangerous
pothead prisoners were freed and all prosecutions against those on remand were discontinued. Prison overcrowding could be ended almost overnight.

The benefits to society would be enormous, but vested interests have sensationalised the dangers of weed in order to maintain the status quo. Marijuana is not the most dangerous of drugs. Highly addictive nicotine is the biggest killer, yet it is legal. Alcohol causes half of the total deaths from traffic accidents each year. The Founding Fathers grew hemp, yet adults are now jailed for lifestyle choices that do no harm to other people. I am amazed that potheads are being arrested, prosecuted and imprisoned by people who either smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol or pop prescription pills. (Supreme Court Justice William Rehnquist was addicted to sleeping pills.)

One of the reasons why weed is not legalised is because the game of cops and pushers generates money for various agencies and contractors. Legalisation would deprive the DEA and other law enforcement agencies of billions of dollars of taxpayers' money. Pretending to stop drugs is big business. The money that is being frittered away should be going to education, healthcare, and the pension system, instead, it is wasted on a charade that is having zero effect on drug crimes.

Just over a century ago Western governments were selling opium – a more dangerous drug than pot – to the population of China. Our governments use propaganda to justify whatever is most lucrative to them at the time. Locking up nondangerous potheads seems to be a senseless waste of economic resources that profits elite vested interests at the expense of the majority.

I would like to hear your views on the above,

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15 April 05

Anal Virginity Threats: Kenny’s Come-on
(Threat level: moderate)

During a recent yoga session with Popcorn, I was approached by Kenny, who is a rare sight on the rec field. Kenny offered some stretching advice.

After rec, Long Island divulged that he had noticed Kenny ogling my behind when I was bending over to do yoga postures.

The next day, I received a letter from Kenny.

Hi [Jon]! This is Kenny writing from afar. There’s been a lot on my mind that I’ve wanted to share with you for a very long time. At least it feels like a v. long time. I’m not afraid of too many things in this world, and I usually prefer to look someone strait in the eyes when I’m talking about something that means so very much to me, but in this case, I am afraid. I’m scared to hear you tell me (however tactful) that I’m offending you, or that I’ve got no chance in hell, and that’s where I should go, or maybe you’d be kind and say “…we can still be friends.”

Rejection scares me when it comes from someone I admire [Jon] you know I’m gay, and until you tell me otherwise, I have to assume you are strait. But for so long now, ever since I first seen you; first heard the sound of your voice, I’ve wanted to be closer than just a friendly acquaintance. You are sooo handsome to me, and intelligent, and rather self confident-a strong man. You have all the things I admire - most, anyway since I’ve never seen you with less than shorts on!! Yes [Jon], you know where this is going. I want you to read this - keep it to just you and me. Please do not betray my trust/secrecy. Even though people know I’m gay, I do not want anyone to know who I have feelings for, and I do not want anyone to know who I ‘get together with, when, where, or what exactly happens between myself and a guy that’s willing to give me a chance to show him excellent pleasures. I’ve been gay since about 12 years old, and I love myself just the way I am. When someone strait trys to understand, its impossible! Try explaining a colour to someone born blind.

Being in prison for years on end, without the sexual pleasures of a woman, leaves most men frustrated and left with what they feel is no alternative than to fantasize with some long-ago fantasy and a magazine in the company of their own right hand. That gets old after years and years.
To finally decide to give a guy like me a chance to do the very same things (most things) a woman can do leaves a guy realizing he should have let me please him long ago.

[Jon], someday, somehow, I would really love to get together with you. I’ve admired you for so long. And when I watched you do that yoga, in all those positions, all I could do was dream of how wonderful it would be, to be with you, in a room, just you and me, in total privacy….

Since being with you would be our ‘first time’, its best, if you would give me a chance, to go slow, and show you what I can do for you a lttle at a time. When you were out there doing that yoga, and the morning sunrise made all that hair on your legs shine - as I watched you from a distance, I imagined how fine you must look if you were with me and….

This would be our secret. And the things written here are our secret too. Please do not betray my trust. This is no work of fiction. Return this to me. If you would ever want this to hapen, you know where I live, and the thing to do, is to come over here when everyone goes to rec. [Jon], in the privacy of my room, there is nothing (nearly so) I would not do to please you. I have other fantasies too. If you wish, I will write them in my next letter.

How do you feel about Kenny’s approach? What should I tell him that won't hurt his feelings?

Cheers! Jon