13 Mar 09

Question Time with Two Tonys

Two Tonys - A whacker of men and Mafia associate serving multiple life sentences for murders and violent crimes. Left bodies from Tucson to Alaska, but claims all his victims "had it coming." Recently diagnosed with liver cancer, and is in chemotherapy fighting to prolong his life.

Cat Eyes wrote:

For Two to T. I don't know what to say except isn't death a mandatory part of life? I've never been confronted to my own death only life so far and can't imagine what you are feeling, perhaps you might see it as an exit...you are after all getting out of prison just not the way you would have hoped. As we say in French when someone is going on a trip... Bon voyage. Make it a good one. I enjoyed discovering your character in Shaun's written words. These I suspect will be the most difficult yet fulfilling last months of your life because you are high on emotion. Be well. Love Cat Eyes

Two Tonys responded:

Cat Eyes,

I agree death is a part of life, and perhaps if I were sitting in a nice house watching grandchildren play, or in a mansion waiting for my young trophy wife to come down the stairs, so we can get in the Lamborghini to go to dinner, sure I’d worry about death, and who she will be loving after my death. But this old life I’m in is nothing like that.
To be real honest with you, the dying is not scary, it’s the suffering and pain of dying that worries me. I guess I’m a coward along those lines. Those whose lives I had to take went fast, adrenaline was flowing. They died in seconds. Now how long is a second? If you’re walking along the beach at sunset with Heidi Klum a second is over fast. But if your balls are on a hot grill, a second is a lifetime. We’ll find out as this thing in me progresses.

Click here to read Two Tonys’ previous letter.

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Shaun P. Attwood


Anonymous said...

Yes, Cat Eyes, but who really ponders death util it is upon them? Two Tonys, do you feel you have a unique focus right now on life and death? Maybe you could expand on that subject for us.


Anonymous said...

Two Tonys,

I would not say you are a coward. You are confronting this. Discussing it with us out loud. You are swimming in the sea, against the tide without a life jacket. Getting tired, hurt. Dealing with physical pain, sufferance, and psychological ones to a certain degree I suspect. You have family and friends...and now us, webpeople curious curiosities..caring how you are doing despite your past present and future. Still- all that will not replace the fact you are within the walls of prison, looking out, not the other way around. That is an important detail. When you are stripped of everything...what is there still left?...Hopefully your brilliant mind -

(Even if you had the trophy wife - how cruel is that you are already predicting you be worried who'd she love next- and the Lamborthingy, could that have made you happy)

Please do keep writing, for yourself or for us, to leave notes for your grandchildren.

..almost tempted to suggest this book : "The Chronicles of a Death Foretold" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Purely to entertain you, not to help you with fighting cancer.. I'm a crazy Cat :)


Cat Eyes

Anonymous said...

practicing grabbing the time of my life..now and wishing you the same under these circumstances aren't you experiencing every feeling your body is capable of feeling, now? The hardest thing to achieve is sometimes the most rewarding. Holding on a little longer to your life. Doesn't make you think about the value of it. I will stop right now before all this sounds too preachy.

Now another question for you Two Tonys because I have the nerve to ask. Is quality of life measured by success? Now that your life is behind, do you feel full? What is it you are taking with you in death? What are you leaving behind?

Hey Ghost..
I did think of death recently ..I crashed off my bike, ridding on snow and ice. There were no cars around but if they were I'd be dead. I wasn't wearing a helmet. I was not hurt but I was frighten of the impact. I thought about my children, who would care for them. It made me rethink about my contribution on earth..what is my purpose..

Cat Eyes

Anonymous said...

There's nothing cowardly at all about being afraid of death, or the pain and suffering that might be associated with it. I think it's hard wired into us to want to survive when it comes down to the wire, and the desire to avoid pain IS definitely an instinct.