Prisoner Updates

30 Oct 07

For man is a man and master of his fate.
-Alfred, 1st Lord Tennyson “The Marriage of Geraint”

O fortune, fortune, thou art a bitch!-Sir John Vanbrugh The Relapse

Here’s what’s going on with most of the prisoners written about in this blog.

Repo is facing the death penalty for the recent murder of a prisoner on Yard 3. He is in the hole.

Iron Man is working toward his goal of becoming a fitness trainer. His earliest release is in March, 2010. He hopes to open an athletic center, and to become more proficient in mixed martial arts.

Xena is in the hole. Acting in self defense, Xena’s cellmate, Savage, was sent to the hole for breaking the jaw of an Aryan Brother (whose teeth had to be wired together and had to be fed through a straw). With Savage gone, Xena received threats of a sexual nature and was moved to the hole.

T-Bone is staying focused on the Bible and working out. His earliest release is in November, 2009. He hopes to become a construction manager.

Shane is receiving Interferon treatment for hepatitis C. His viral load is undetectable, and he hopes to be completely cured. His earliest release is in April, 2012, but he has asked the U.S. District Court to overturn one of his sentences, which, if successful, would get him out in 2010. He was recently moved back to Yard 4 after refusing to work in Yard 1’s kitchen.

Max is living in Las Vegas. He is working as an office coordinator for AppleOne.

Slingblade has been eligible for parole for the past three years, but he doesn’t have the competency or outside help to facilitate his release. He has written numerous letters to John McCain requesting help getting out of prison, and he recently wrote to Queen Elizabeth.

Kenny recently arrived at Yard 1, had his life threatened over unpaid drug debts, and was moved to the hole for his own safety. In the hole he had a seizure, which the nurse, Cornrows, accused him of faking.

Junior Bull Gravano had a fight with Duke, was sent to the hole, and is now on Yard 2. He is hoping to be moved to a federal prison to serve the remainder of his sentence for the Ecstasy case.

Duke is living with his wife in Phoenix.

Gina was moved to Buckeye prison after receiving sexual threats at Yard 4. Gina is fighting for hormone therapy and would eventually like vaginoplasty.

Weird Al has applied for clemency on the grounds that if he doesn’t get a liver transplant soon he may die. His earliest release is in June, 2008.

Long Island was set free and is rumoured by the inmates to have fallen in with the Russian Mafia.

Two Tonys was sent to the hole for refusing to share a cell with a certain murderer. From the hole he was transported to a maximum-security unit at Buckeye prison.

Ogre is at the same prison as his nemesis, Two Tonys. Ogre was moved after receiving multiple tickets, including testing positive for drugs.

Midnight was accepted by a halfway house in Tucson (Old Pueblo Community Foundation’s Casa Santa Clara ). He hopes to be living there in January, 2008. He was recently diagnosed as SMI (Severely Mentally Impaired).

Frankie is still at a supermaximum prison due to the numerous violations he committed on Yard 4, including heroin possession and trying to incite a riot in the kitchen. When he gets out, he wants to establish himself as a leading pimp in England.

Kat’s earliest release is in March, 2009. He intends to live in Phoenix and to own and operate a greeting-card business.

Slope sees the parole board in September, 2008. He would like to work as a maintenanceperson at a hospital. Further out, he hopes to own a handyman business and to do tattooing on the side.

As for me, I’d like to express how I’m feeling by quoting from Tolstoy’s War and Peace.

‘Everybody says that adversity means suffering,’ said Pierre.‘But if you asked me now, at this moment, whether I wanted to stay as I was before I was taken prisoner, or go through it all again, my God, I’d sooner be a prisoner and eat horse-meat again. We all think we only have to be knocked a little bit off course and we’ve lost everything, but it’s only the start of something new and good. Where there is life, there is happiness. There is a huge amount yet to come…’

Let’s take a look at what else is going on here. An inmate on Yard 4 was recently gang raped and moved to the hole. A guard shot himself in the hand while holstering his gun. Getting high on cough syrup (sold at the inmate store) is all the rage. Heroin and crystal meth continue to flood this place and the prisoners remain far from rehabilitated. The taxpayers continue to be fleeced by prison contractors whose political contributions guarantee them contracts to provide shoddy or nonexistant goods and services at top-dollar prices. When and how will it all end?

Email comments to or post them below

Copyright © 2006-2007 Shaun P. Attwood


Anonymous said...

you've got to be shitting me, you can get dex only stuff in prison? I bet you chugged that BEFORE going in, Shaun. ;)

Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

The Tolstoy quote was wonderful, and I know the world holds so much for you. It's always been my feeling that the greatest gift we have in life is the awareness of how much we have-the attitude of gratitude.

As to particularly the last paragraph, I watched A Christmas Carol with new eyes this year and realized again, what it takes for change is awareness. As long as human beings walk the earth there will be misuse of everything...and as long as humans walk the earth there is the possibility of change. Sometimes it takes only one voice.

Anonymous said...

I've read your blog for a while but as I was reading the character updates, I realized I don't really know what you mean when you say someone is "in the hole". I've been assuming you mean solitary confinement. Is that right? Is there more to is than that?


P.S. Congratulations on your release and return home!

Anonymous said...

In the hole you are put in a cell and not allowed out (except to take a shower) until your hole time is over.

Anonymous said...

I would think by now and thanks to jon's blog we would realise by now, we are all in the hole, the hole of our own making and that living life means just that
excepting the futility of life for what it is.
But delighting in the life of others is the gift that alevates us.
a prisoner is no more just a prisoner than a dog is just a dog and the more we blinker ourselves to think that way the lesser we are.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy the UK weather Jon, must be a bit of a change after the 'warm' cells etc.