1 March 05

Anal Virginity Threats: Frankie’s Love Letter
(Threat level: medium and rising)

This evening in the chow hall, I looked inside my sandwich bread and discovered it contained some carefully-folded paper. Upon examining the paper I recognised Frankie’s handwriting.
Frankie is still at SMU2 in Florence. I wondered how he was able to circumvent the mail system and cause a letter to pop up in a sandwich?

For readers unfamiliar with Frankie, Frankie is a Mexican Mafia hitman who I met at the Madison Street jail (see blog Chess Moves 13/05/04) where he was fighting a double-homicide case, which he subsequently won. I used to play chess with Frankie and he made it clear that he would try to make me his prison bride if we were ever housed together.

Here are Frankie’s own words as discovered in my sandwich:
“Anyway, as you know you’re engaged to me so don’t be cheating on me because I’m a jealous guy. I’ve met a couple of cheetos here but all they do is flash their white asses through doors and that an’t no fun cause I can’t get none, I want someone I can make love to.”

Frankie believes that he will be at Buckeye soon:
“I’m more than sure that I’ll go there.”
He ended the letter with a smiley face, winking and pulling tongues.

I’ve a feeling that Frankie will be here soon.


Anonymous said...

quite ingenious frankie, lucky you didn't break a tooth Jon!

Anonymous said...

That must be horrifying.as much as I'm pulling for you and your anal safety I must admitt that your TALE had me laughing to tears.

hope to god I never have to face a problem like this .god be with you