8 July 05

Battle for my Cheerios

Previously, I wrote that prisoners sometimes fight over trivialities such as candy bars or cups of Kool-Aid. Lets add a handful of Cheerios to that list.

As Ogre has been friendly since Boxing Day Punch, even showing me pictures of his multiple children with multiple women and nude photos of his pretty ex-wife, I have been giving him my Cheerio ration, which I never eat. Last Weekend, Druid asked for my cereal first, so I gave my Cheerios to Druid instead of Ogre.

Ogre approached our table, grinning and licking his moustache. But when he saw that my Cheerios had migrated from my tray to Druid’s, his eyes widened and he yelled, “I own his Cheerios.” He grabbed a handful of Cheerios from Druid’s tray.

In prison, laying your hands on another inmates tray is an act of war. Druid – who receives counselling for an anger problem – became enraged as Ogre’s hairy fingers scooped up more Cheerios. As Ogre strode away, Druid fumed and refused to eat his chow.

After chow, Druid accosted Ogre, and there was puffing and shouting, pushing and shoving, and
almost a fight.

Now, I don’t know what to do with my Cheerios. Maybe General Mills could withdraw them from the market before someone gets hurt.

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Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood


Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should eat them yourself!

Anonymous said...

Before you say goodbye to your Cheerios, maybe you could divide them. It is just getting the timing right though isn't it!

Terry B

Suzanne the Salty One said...

"I own his Cheerios" is one the funniest but saddest statements I've heard in a while. Thank goodness Ogre didn't take his Cheerio deprivation rage out on you personally.

Ynot59 said...

Careful, mate, you are in the middle of a sticky situation. Even something as trivial as Cheerios can escalate to something outrageous.

Even an assumed slight could be seen as weakening someone's standing (yard cred) and they have to do something about it.

Be safe.

Tony, Phoenix

mkb88 said...

Yo so is it really like that all the time? with all fights all time time? i mean they shound os trivial, ok well i have been reading your blogs cuz i am writing an assingment in letters for english and i am doing prison lfe? any point to sound like a real person writing the letter?