19 October 05
Repo
Two Tonys and I were chatting in the chow hall when we were joined by the scariest looking inmate on Yard 4. To picture Repo, imagine the bald-headed villain in the movie, The Hills Have Eyes, only with the addition of flames and skulls tatooed on his head. He is dangerous by virtue of size – 6 feet 7 and built like Big Bad John. He is a practitioner of aikido. Before this imprisonment, he was a debt collector. He was arrested in a hotel car park attempting to collect a forty-thousand-dollar drug debt, after a terrified hotel guest dialled 911 and reported seeing, “A big man, getting out of a big truck with a big gun.” His debt collection partner was a
twelve-gauge shotgun.
“Did you see the ambulance outside of Buildin’ 2 last night? Some guy blew his asshole out while takin’ a shit,” Repo said.
“I hope my slurpin' my fuckin' chicken noodle soup doesn’t interfere with your discussion about assholes and takin' fuckin' shits. I’m tryin’ to fuckin' eat. Do you mind?” Two Tonys said.
“What’s wrong with talkin’ about shits and assholes?”
“It’s not just that. It seems like every time I sit down to eat my fuckin’ chow, you come around, and the conversation goes straight to shits and assholes and nasty stuff that’s unappetizing to me. We don’t have to talk about splittin' the fuckin’ atom here but we could at least have a normal fuckin’conversation,” Two Tonys said.
“You’ve been down plenee years. You’ve heard worse than shits and assholes.”
“Yeah. And I was in the navy for fuckin’ years keepin’ the Red Chinese from snatchin’ your fuckin’ ass.”
“That’s before my time. If you’d fought on the Ho Chi Minh Trail, you’d get my respects.”
“I was in fuckin’ Blood Alley, in Formosa. If Chairman Mao had of had his way, you’d be speakin’ Chinese and eatin’ noodles with chopsticks, motherfucker.”
“I like Chinese food.”
“You would, you bizarre lookin’ motherfucker. When you get out, I’m gonna send you to the Coast for lunch with Francis Ford Coppola. But when you talk to him, don’t mention people takin’ shits and blowin’ their assholes out, and you might get a bit part in one of his movies as a fuckin’ monster.”
“I can’t go to California. I’ve done too many repetitive dangerous crimes there.”
Repo flexed his neck muscles – enlargening several skull tatoos – and departed.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
17 October 05
Dawg – Xena’s Pet Tarantula
I was invited to see Dawg in his makeshift home – half a cardboard box strewn with dirt and pieces of dead insects. The brownish-black spider looked like an arachnophobe’s worst nightmare. From Dawg’s bulbous body, eight hairy legs extended almost as wide as my hand.
Xena coaxed Dawg into his hand.
“Here, let me put Dawg on your arm” Xena said.
“But he has fangs – big ones!” I said.
“Dawggy won’t bite you. Don’t be scared.”
“Unlike you, Xena, I try to keep spiders and scorpions at a safe distance.”
“Dawg’s very docile. He’s beautiful. He’s always pleasant, and great to play with. I wash him, and give him baths. I’ve put his fangs on my skin, and pushed his head down. He wouldn’t bite me. I wanted to see what being bitten felt like, but the little fucker wouldn’t do it.”
“Knowing my luck, I’ll be the first person he bites.”
“Don’t be such a chicken-ass Limey! Just sit there and let me put him on your hand.”
"OK."
Xena manipulated Dawg onto my left wrist. His gentle feet tickled my skin. My fear confronted, I felt at ease. I enjoyed the sensation of Dawg moving up my arm.
“What do you feed him?”
“Crickets. I keep him stuffed, so he won’t want to make a meal out of me.”
“What else do they eat?”
“Other tarantulas.”
“Other tarantulas? How does that work?”
“It’s mostly females eatin’ males. During matin’ season a horny male will go lookin’ for female burrows. He’s like, hey, this smells like a female’s place, and then, it like, cruises in, and plucks the web, like he’s invitin’ himself to dinner, and he’s the meal. She runs out to eat him, and he tries to put her in a trance. He runs under her, and using hooks on his legs, he holds her fangs back, so she can’t chomp down on him. Then he sticks his little pitter-patter – it’s called a pedipalp – into her vag, and injects his semen."
I gasped at Xena's knowledge of tarantula mating habits.
"Next is the tricky bit: he has to let go of her. By this time she’s hungry and pissed off. This is when he wishes he was a fag for sure, 'cause if he don’t get away, he gets eaten. Sometimes they try so hard to get away that the pitter-patter breaks off, and is left up inside her vag.”
“Wow! That’s amazing.”
“I’d be a homosexual if I was a tarantula. Hey, I am a homosexual!”
“Dawg feels cool, but you’d better get him off me before he crawls on my head.”
“Alright.”
“Thanks Xena. I’m glad you talked me into letting Dawg crawl on me. I’m not afraid of tarantulas anymore. We love tarantulas!”
"We do love tarantulas!"
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Dawg – Xena’s Pet Tarantula
I was invited to see Dawg in his makeshift home – half a cardboard box strewn with dirt and pieces of dead insects. The brownish-black spider looked like an arachnophobe’s worst nightmare. From Dawg’s bulbous body, eight hairy legs extended almost as wide as my hand.
Xena coaxed Dawg into his hand.
“Here, let me put Dawg on your arm” Xena said.
“But he has fangs – big ones!” I said.
“Dawggy won’t bite you. Don’t be scared.”
“Unlike you, Xena, I try to keep spiders and scorpions at a safe distance.”
“Dawg’s very docile. He’s beautiful. He’s always pleasant, and great to play with. I wash him, and give him baths. I’ve put his fangs on my skin, and pushed his head down. He wouldn’t bite me. I wanted to see what being bitten felt like, but the little fucker wouldn’t do it.”
“Knowing my luck, I’ll be the first person he bites.”
“Don’t be such a chicken-ass Limey! Just sit there and let me put him on your hand.”
"OK."
Xena manipulated Dawg onto my left wrist. His gentle feet tickled my skin. My fear confronted, I felt at ease. I enjoyed the sensation of Dawg moving up my arm.
“What do you feed him?”
“Crickets. I keep him stuffed, so he won’t want to make a meal out of me.”
“What else do they eat?”
“Other tarantulas.”
“Other tarantulas? How does that work?”
“It’s mostly females eatin’ males. During matin’ season a horny male will go lookin’ for female burrows. He’s like, hey, this smells like a female’s place, and then, it like, cruises in, and plucks the web, like he’s invitin’ himself to dinner, and he’s the meal. She runs out to eat him, and he tries to put her in a trance. He runs under her, and using hooks on his legs, he holds her fangs back, so she can’t chomp down on him. Then he sticks his little pitter-patter – it’s called a pedipalp – into her vag, and injects his semen."
I gasped at Xena's knowledge of tarantula mating habits.
"Next is the tricky bit: he has to let go of her. By this time she’s hungry and pissed off. This is when he wishes he was a fag for sure, 'cause if he don’t get away, he gets eaten. Sometimes they try so hard to get away that the pitter-patter breaks off, and is left up inside her vag.”
“Wow! That’s amazing.”
“I’d be a homosexual if I was a tarantula. Hey, I am a homosexual!”
“Dawg feels cool, but you’d better get him off me before he crawls on my head.”
“Alright.”
“Thanks Xena. I’m glad you talked me into letting Dawg crawl on me. I’m not afraid of tarantulas anymore. We love tarantulas!”
"We do love tarantulas!"
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
15 October 05
Futures Trading Update
Hurricanes have affected our recent performance.
Long Island closed out his long soybean position at a loss after dissipating hurricanes watered thirsty soybean crops in the Midwest. As the crops rejoiced, Long Island’s account dipped to $4770.61.
Hurricane Katrina caused energy prices to spike upwards, and I took advantage of the short term psychological extreme by selling short natural gas and oil; when they tumbled, my account rose to $7695.75.
Long Island started a stock trading account on 24th June 05 with a hypothetical initial investment stake of $10,000. After locking in gains in CNS Inc, Motorola, Netgear Inc, and Dresser Rand, his stock account moved up to $14,894.5. He is currently long the US government’s pet contractor and notorious overbiller, Halliburton.
My recent futures account gains were derived from psychological analysis. Each market seems to have its own personality, susceptible to fluctuating emotions and even mental ailments. In order not to be distressed by the seeming irrationality of futures markets, it is necessary to condition one’s mind to be in accordance with market temperaments.
***Readers please note that Jon's and Long Island's trading is hypothetical. Inmates do not have access to computers or the Internet. Nor do they have the funds to trade on the stock market.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Futures Trading Update
Hurricanes have affected our recent performance.
Long Island closed out his long soybean position at a loss after dissipating hurricanes watered thirsty soybean crops in the Midwest. As the crops rejoiced, Long Island’s account dipped to $4770.61.
Hurricane Katrina caused energy prices to spike upwards, and I took advantage of the short term psychological extreme by selling short natural gas and oil; when they tumbled, my account rose to $7695.75.
Long Island started a stock trading account on 24th June 05 with a hypothetical initial investment stake of $10,000. After locking in gains in CNS Inc, Motorola, Netgear Inc, and Dresser Rand, his stock account moved up to $14,894.5. He is currently long the US government’s pet contractor and notorious overbiller, Halliburton.
My recent futures account gains were derived from psychological analysis. Each market seems to have its own personality, susceptible to fluctuating emotions and even mental ailments. In order not to be distressed by the seeming irrationality of futures markets, it is necessary to condition one’s mind to be in accordance with market temperaments.
***Readers please note that Jon's and Long Island's trading is hypothetical. Inmates do not have access to computers or the Internet. Nor do they have the funds to trade on the stock market.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
13 October 05
Question Time
Rose asked how long I have to serve and the release possiblities.
In June 2004 I was sentenced to nine and a half years. The sentence began retroactively on 16th May 2002 to include time spent on remand at Arpaio’s jails.
Calculating my actual release date is a convoluted process. I have calculations ranging around late 2007 to early 2008. To get out at the pleasanter end of the range depends upon such factors as continued good behaviour, and being processed expeditiously by INS (US Immigration) who will coordinate my deportation back to the UK.
Park-Ex Sales asked how I’m perceived in the prison pecking order, if I’m afraid to move around, and how often people make trouble with me.
Greg, an Aryan Brotherhood member, said that I’m regarded as “someone who just wants to be left alone to do his time.”
Sadly, being an illegal alien stockbroker from England, seems to have precluded my admission to any of the 25,000 active gangs identified by the Justice Department. Despite my protests about unequal prison gang opportuntities, and demands for affirmative action for incarcerated Brits in America in relation to prison gang work (known as ‘doing dirt’), I remain ostracized, and unranked in the political hierarchy. I’m thinking about filing a motion with the US Supreme Court demanding court ordered gang membership. If that doesn’t work, I’ll bribe my favourite shemale to allow me into COX. (Cult Of Xena)
Being locked down for twenty or twenty two hours every day, means I don’t get moved around often. Although I was sweated by a few individuals when I arrived at Buckeye, I did not succumb and now I’m fine. At rec time I play chess with Frankie, who is well-respected and dangerous if disrespected. Although there is an ever present threat of random violence, it is drugs and drug debts that cause the most problems. There are mischief makers but one learns how to deal with them.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Question Time
Rose asked how long I have to serve and the release possiblities.
In June 2004 I was sentenced to nine and a half years. The sentence began retroactively on 16th May 2002 to include time spent on remand at Arpaio’s jails.
Calculating my actual release date is a convoluted process. I have calculations ranging around late 2007 to early 2008. To get out at the pleasanter end of the range depends upon such factors as continued good behaviour, and being processed expeditiously by INS (US Immigration) who will coordinate my deportation back to the UK.
Park-Ex Sales asked how I’m perceived in the prison pecking order, if I’m afraid to move around, and how often people make trouble with me.
Greg, an Aryan Brotherhood member, said that I’m regarded as “someone who just wants to be left alone to do his time.”
Sadly, being an illegal alien stockbroker from England, seems to have precluded my admission to any of the 25,000 active gangs identified by the Justice Department. Despite my protests about unequal prison gang opportuntities, and demands for affirmative action for incarcerated Brits in America in relation to prison gang work (known as ‘doing dirt’), I remain ostracized, and unranked in the political hierarchy. I’m thinking about filing a motion with the US Supreme Court demanding court ordered gang membership. If that doesn’t work, I’ll bribe my favourite shemale to allow me into COX. (Cult Of Xena)
Being locked down for twenty or twenty two hours every day, means I don’t get moved around often. Although I was sweated by a few individuals when I arrived at Buckeye, I did not succumb and now I’m fine. At rec time I play chess with Frankie, who is well-respected and dangerous if disrespected. Although there is an ever present threat of random violence, it is drugs and drug debts that cause the most problems. There are mischief makers but one learns how to deal with them.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
11 October 05
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
9 October 05
A Bighearted Teacher
Santa Rita Unit’s GED teacher, an African American named Mr. Davidson, is the kindest prison employee I have encountered. He is the glue holding the GED class together against overwhelming odds. Despite daily disruptions from the students, guards, and weather, Mr. Davidson somehow soldiers on, maintaining sangfroid and a sense of humour.
I’ve seen guards refuse to release students from their cells who were supposed to be at school.
I've felt the dizzying greenhouse effect when the classroom air conditioner remained unfixed for days. But perhaps the teacher’s greatest occupational hazard is the student body, some of whom seem to prefer misbehaviour or badmouthing him, instead of doing schoolwork. Some fake ailments to get outdoors to smoke. One thought it was comical to disrupt the class by asking Mr. Davidson to elucidate on female douching.
Somehow, Mr. Davidson maintains order, perhaps motivated by the joy of providing young people new chances in life. He seems to be on a humanitarian mission. The happiness in his eyes and smile conveys the good karma he generates.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
A Bighearted Teacher
Santa Rita Unit’s GED teacher, an African American named Mr. Davidson, is the kindest prison employee I have encountered. He is the glue holding the GED class together against overwhelming odds. Despite daily disruptions from the students, guards, and weather, Mr. Davidson somehow soldiers on, maintaining sangfroid and a sense of humour.
I’ve seen guards refuse to release students from their cells who were supposed to be at school.
I've felt the dizzying greenhouse effect when the classroom air conditioner remained unfixed for days. But perhaps the teacher’s greatest occupational hazard is the student body, some of whom seem to prefer misbehaviour or badmouthing him, instead of doing schoolwork. Some fake ailments to get outdoors to smoke. One thought it was comical to disrupt the class by asking Mr. Davidson to elucidate on female douching.
Somehow, Mr. Davidson maintains order, perhaps motivated by the joy of providing young people new chances in life. He seems to be on a humanitarian mission. The happiness in his eyes and smile conveys the good karma he generates.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
7 October 05
Bullish Orangemen
Black markets moved significantly higher today due to a two week closure of the inmate store caused by the transition to Keefe Commissary NetworK (KCN). The combination of sudden scarcity and peckish prisoners in a buying mood, pushed the widely followed interinmate commerce index, the Dow Jones Prison Tradeables, up 351 points to 11,233. The continuation of the bull market reflected inmate sceptism flying in the face of persistant ADOC optimism about the near term availability of store items from KCN.
Market leaders continue to excel. The high-nicotine index, known as the FAGPAQ, soared 450 points higher to 5011. Rolling Tobacco (.65oz par value 80 cents) gapped up and closed 1.10 higher at 3.60 in triple average turnover, surpassing last years high of 3.50 set during the Lewis Prison hostage situation. Neil Currie, an analyst at UBS, raised his near term forecast for rolling tobacco to 5.00 and added that “demand factors, such as prisoners on Yard 3 bidding for ten first class stamps for a pouch, should generate higher prices near term.”
Looking at chart patterns, the chip sector, CRISPS, broke out of an ascending triangle formation. Snack King Cheese Puffs exploded from a bullish tight range, climbing .70 to 3.90. Granny Goose Jalapeno Chips moved higher, finishing the session up .35 to 2.10. Nacho Tortilla Chips advanced .40 to 2.55. El Sabroso Pork Rinds climbed .32 to 4.01. Joe Osha, the Merill Lynch chip analyst said that “the delay in bringing Snyder Jalapeno Pretzels and Moon Lodge Pretzels to the market by KCN, while demand is rising, caused me to raise Andersons Thin Pretzels from a buy to a strong buy.”
Increased candy prices accounted for half of the 7% Small Crap gain.
Sour Balls spiked up .75 to 2.50 after a rumour circulated that Michael Milken had been rearrested and was looking to corner the Sour Balls market. Chewey Starbursts rallied .23 to .90. Chocolate Zingers advanced .56 to 6.20. Skittles hit 1.39 intraday, closing up .70 to 1.20, after private junk buyers, Kohlberg Kravis Roberts, launched a hostile takeover of Skittles, bidding 1.25 for the entire supply.
Iced Cinnamon Rolls rose .15 to .75, and broke out of a reverse head and shoulders formation on the chart, closing .09 above the neckline. Little Debbys Brownies advanced .37 to 2.55, forming a cup-without-handle pattern.
The session’s lone loser was Zen Cigarette Rolling Kits, which tumbled .15 to .78. Analysts cited the absence of tobacco behind the fall.
Commenting on the run up of the Dow Jones Prison Tradeables and the FAGPAQ bubble, Stephen Roach, a Morgan Stanley economist, said that “the high prices in the P2P (prisoner to prisoner) marketplace should not cause mass unemployment or slow economic growth because the Arizona Dept. of Corrections has managed to keep the wage rate steady at ten cents an hour.”
Meredith Adler, a Lehman analyst, and lone bear, cautioned “store items are trading at dizzying and unsustainable heights. Prices are anywhere from four to six times book values. Accelerating price inflation in the P2P marketplace should cause a recession. Speculators looking for bargains should shop elsewhere.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Bullish Orangemen
Black markets moved significantly higher today due to a two week closure of the inmate store caused by the transition to Keefe Commissary NetworK (KCN). The combination of sudden scarcity and peckish prisoners in a buying mood, pushed the widely followed interinmate commerce index, the Dow Jones Prison Tradeables, up 351 points to 11,233. The continuation of the bull market reflected inmate sceptism flying in the face of persistant ADOC optimism about the near term availability of store items from KCN.
Market leaders continue to excel. The high-nicotine index, known as the FAGPAQ, soared 450 points higher to 5011. Rolling Tobacco (.65oz par value 80 cents) gapped up and closed 1.10 higher at 3.60 in triple average turnover, surpassing last years high of 3.50 set during the Lewis Prison hostage situation. Neil Currie, an analyst at UBS, raised his near term forecast for rolling tobacco to 5.00 and added that “demand factors, such as prisoners on Yard 3 bidding for ten first class stamps for a pouch, should generate higher prices near term.”
Looking at chart patterns, the chip sector, CRISPS, broke out of an ascending triangle formation. Snack King Cheese Puffs exploded from a bullish tight range, climbing .70 to 3.90. Granny Goose Jalapeno Chips moved higher, finishing the session up .35 to 2.10. Nacho Tortilla Chips advanced .40 to 2.55. El Sabroso Pork Rinds climbed .32 to 4.01. Joe Osha, the Merill Lynch chip analyst said that “the delay in bringing Snyder Jalapeno Pretzels and Moon Lodge Pretzels to the market by KCN, while demand is rising, caused me to raise Andersons Thin Pretzels from a buy to a strong buy.”
Increased candy prices accounted for half of the 7% Small Crap gain.
Sour Balls spiked up .75 to 2.50 after a rumour circulated that Michael Milken had been rearrested and was looking to corner the Sour Balls market. Chewey Starbursts rallied .23 to .90. Chocolate Zingers advanced .56 to 6.20. Skittles hit 1.39 intraday, closing up .70 to 1.20, after private junk buyers, Kohlberg Kravis Roberts, launched a hostile takeover of Skittles, bidding 1.25 for the entire supply.
Iced Cinnamon Rolls rose .15 to .75, and broke out of a reverse head and shoulders formation on the chart, closing .09 above the neckline. Little Debbys Brownies advanced .37 to 2.55, forming a cup-without-handle pattern.
The session’s lone loser was Zen Cigarette Rolling Kits, which tumbled .15 to .78. Analysts cited the absence of tobacco behind the fall.
Commenting on the run up of the Dow Jones Prison Tradeables and the FAGPAQ bubble, Stephen Roach, a Morgan Stanley economist, said that “the high prices in the P2P (prisoner to prisoner) marketplace should not cause mass unemployment or slow economic growth because the Arizona Dept. of Corrections has managed to keep the wage rate steady at ten cents an hour.”
Meredith Adler, a Lehman analyst, and lone bear, cautioned “store items are trading at dizzying and unsustainable heights. Prices are anywhere from four to six times book values. Accelerating price inflation in the P2P marketplace should cause a recession. Speculators looking for bargains should shop elsewhere.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
5 October 05
New Store Ownership
There is a notice on the control-room window:
As part of the Statewide Privatization of the Inmate Stores… the store operations will be transitioning to a private company, Keefe Commissary Network (KCN).
The entire shopping process will change. You will be submitting a Scantron form or ‘bubble sheet’ itemizing which products you wish to purchase.
Instructions for completeing the bubble sheet will be published soon.
As in all new procedures, we expect glitches, especially in the first runs.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
New Store Ownership
There is a notice on the control-room window:
As part of the Statewide Privatization of the Inmate Stores… the store operations will be transitioning to a private company, Keefe Commissary Network (KCN).
The entire shopping process will change. You will be submitting a Scantron form or ‘bubble sheet’ itemizing which products you wish to purchase.
Instructions for completeing the bubble sheet will be published soon.
As in all new procedures, we expect glitches, especially in the first runs.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
3 October 05
T-Netix
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
T-Netix
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
1 October 05
The First Book
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
The First Book
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Thanks Readers
It is with immense appreciation I am scribbling these words. A deluge of birthday cards, snail mailed from blog readers around the world, has poured into my cell. Your unfailing kindness countinues to affect my life. Your gifts of books are shaping my destiny. I want to express my gratitude, not only for the cards, but also for the emails, and letters of support. You are an endless source of inspiration.
Appreciatively yours,
Jon
It is with immense appreciation I am scribbling these words. A deluge of birthday cards, snail mailed from blog readers around the world, has poured into my cell. Your unfailing kindness countinues to affect my life. Your gifts of books are shaping my destiny. I want to express my gratitude, not only for the cards, but also for the emails, and letters of support. You are an endless source of inspiration.
Appreciatively yours,
Jon
27 September 05
Psychotherapy with Dr. Allen (Part 1)
Psychotherapy is available again, and I’ve had three sessions with Dr. Allen. The first two sessions were assessment orientated, but during the third session Dr. A began to explore my mind. Here’s some dialogue from session three:
“What’s your definition of success?” Dr. A asked.
“It was material success, but now I know that being mentally successful is what matters.”
“You mentioned big cycles of success and failure in your life, can you describe them for me?”
“I had two big runs: one when I was a stockbroker, and one when I traded stocks online. Both times I thought I had it made. I thought that I had found the right woman. I had plenty of money, cars and gadgets. Then I self-destructed – both times. I partied more, and I lost nearly everything – my wife, my house. The peaks were so high that I felt on top of the world, and the troughs were so low that I contemplated suicide.”
“Here’s what I think, and it may or may not be true: you seem to thrive during the building up part – when you have a challenge. But when you achieve your goals, you look around, and ask yourself: what do I do now? It’s almost as if you have no purpose when your goals are achieved; so, you knock down everything that you’ve built up, and start all over again.”
“That may be true. I sow the seeds of my own destruction with the choices I make. I succeed, my behaviour changes, and before I know it everything is knocked down.”
“It seems as if you allow no happy medium between work and play. You work tirelessly to build everything up, which seems to be your main drive. Then when you’re successful, you switch to the partying and raving which brings you down.”
“That’s correct.”
“You said that for the most part you lived reclusively, but on the weekends you’d go raving and be the life and soul of the party.”
“That’s right.”
“When did you start living reclusively? At what age did you withdraw from your friends?”
“As I became an older teen, I studied more and hung out less with my friends.”
“What did you study?”
“Schoolwork, homework, revision for exams, and I became obsessed with the stock market. I ordered dozens of finance books from Widnes library.”
“Why did you stop hanging out with your friends?”
“They wanted to have fun, later on some got married. I was into studying, whereas, most of my friends frowned on higher education. They celebrated when they finished high school.”
“I have another thought that may or may not be true.”
“Okay.”
“Is it possible that your American raver friends were substitutes for those you separated from in England? It’s as if when you went raving you were going back to your original friends.”
“I hadn’t looked at it that way, but it’s possible.”
“Here’s a suggestion: instead of following periods of all-absorbing stock trading and success, with self-destuction and wild partying, perhaps you should organise your time better. What if you researched stocks until three pm, and then allocated time for your social relationships? Wouldn’t you achieve a balance, instead of letting stress build up in your system, switching to partying to deal with the stress, and losing control of your life? You seem to be a well-organised person. Why don’t you organise your life better, starting with managing your time?”
As I wrote this blog, I thought about the comment posted by Stranger in August. Stranger asked how I perceive rave culture, and urged me to reveal more about myself. There are various reasons why I don’t write more about myself, which I would like to put to my readers.
Firstly, the blog was started to expose jail conditions, and to describe jail life. To suddenly start prattling on about myself – I feel – would risk boring readers. I consider myself on the outer limits of the nerd scale, and disinteresting in comparison to colourful characters such as Frankie, Slingblade, Two Tonys and Xena.
I enjoy describing events objectively, as opposed to pushing subjective opinions – especially about myself. I have written attitudinal blogs from time to time because I do discover things that I get emotional about (such as atrocities committed by the Arpaio regime), and I let my opinions flow at the risk of compromising the original format.
I don’t think I could do a good job writing impartially about myself. I don’t fully understand myself, and I am a biased observer.
Finally,by addressing readers questions from time to time, I get to write about reader- requested areas of my life, as opposed to self-selecting areas that may bore readers.
Perhaps psychotherapy dialogues have enabled me to write some unbiased blogs about myself because a professional is asking the questions and doing the probing. Blogging extracts from these therapy sessions seems like a novel way to disclose more about me.
I want to know more about me to become a better person, but I’m unsure how many readers are interested in this area.
Your comments on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Psychotherapy with Dr. Allen (Part 1)
Psychotherapy is available again, and I’ve had three sessions with Dr. Allen. The first two sessions were assessment orientated, but during the third session Dr. A began to explore my mind. Here’s some dialogue from session three:
“What’s your definition of success?” Dr. A asked.
“It was material success, but now I know that being mentally successful is what matters.”
“You mentioned big cycles of success and failure in your life, can you describe them for me?”
“I had two big runs: one when I was a stockbroker, and one when I traded stocks online. Both times I thought I had it made. I thought that I had found the right woman. I had plenty of money, cars and gadgets. Then I self-destructed – both times. I partied more, and I lost nearly everything – my wife, my house. The peaks were so high that I felt on top of the world, and the troughs were so low that I contemplated suicide.”
“Here’s what I think, and it may or may not be true: you seem to thrive during the building up part – when you have a challenge. But when you achieve your goals, you look around, and ask yourself: what do I do now? It’s almost as if you have no purpose when your goals are achieved; so, you knock down everything that you’ve built up, and start all over again.”
“That may be true. I sow the seeds of my own destruction with the choices I make. I succeed, my behaviour changes, and before I know it everything is knocked down.”
“It seems as if you allow no happy medium between work and play. You work tirelessly to build everything up, which seems to be your main drive. Then when you’re successful, you switch to the partying and raving which brings you down.”
“That’s correct.”
“You said that for the most part you lived reclusively, but on the weekends you’d go raving and be the life and soul of the party.”
“That’s right.”
“When did you start living reclusively? At what age did you withdraw from your friends?”
“As I became an older teen, I studied more and hung out less with my friends.”
“What did you study?”
“Schoolwork, homework, revision for exams, and I became obsessed with the stock market. I ordered dozens of finance books from Widnes library.”
“Why did you stop hanging out with your friends?”
“They wanted to have fun, later on some got married. I was into studying, whereas, most of my friends frowned on higher education. They celebrated when they finished high school.”
“I have another thought that may or may not be true.”
“Okay.”
“Is it possible that your American raver friends were substitutes for those you separated from in England? It’s as if when you went raving you were going back to your original friends.”
“I hadn’t looked at it that way, but it’s possible.”
“Here’s a suggestion: instead of following periods of all-absorbing stock trading and success, with self-destuction and wild partying, perhaps you should organise your time better. What if you researched stocks until three pm, and then allocated time for your social relationships? Wouldn’t you achieve a balance, instead of letting stress build up in your system, switching to partying to deal with the stress, and losing control of your life? You seem to be a well-organised person. Why don’t you organise your life better, starting with managing your time?”
As I wrote this blog, I thought about the comment posted by Stranger in August. Stranger asked how I perceive rave culture, and urged me to reveal more about myself. There are various reasons why I don’t write more about myself, which I would like to put to my readers.
Firstly, the blog was started to expose jail conditions, and to describe jail life. To suddenly start prattling on about myself – I feel – would risk boring readers. I consider myself on the outer limits of the nerd scale, and disinteresting in comparison to colourful characters such as Frankie, Slingblade, Two Tonys and Xena.
I enjoy describing events objectively, as opposed to pushing subjective opinions – especially about myself. I have written attitudinal blogs from time to time because I do discover things that I get emotional about (such as atrocities committed by the Arpaio regime), and I let my opinions flow at the risk of compromising the original format.
I don’t think I could do a good job writing impartially about myself. I don’t fully understand myself, and I am a biased observer.
Finally,by addressing readers questions from time to time, I get to write about reader- requested areas of my life, as opposed to self-selecting areas that may bore readers.
Perhaps psychotherapy dialogues have enabled me to write some unbiased blogs about myself because a professional is asking the questions and doing the probing. Blogging extracts from these therapy sessions seems like a novel way to disclose more about me.
I want to know more about me to become a better person, but I’m unsure how many readers are interested in this area.
Your comments on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
25 September 05
Commodities Trading Results
From one month ago, Long Islands commodity trading account – started with $2000 – moved up to $5833 and mine advanced to $5018. Long Islands gains came mostly from going long coffee, corn, hogs and gold. He lost money selling short copper, which in trading parlance could be described as jumping in front of a speeding train. My gains came mostly from going long the Mexican peso and selling short US Treasury Bonds.
The price of oil racing to new highs makes my earlier prediction of $100 per barrel this decade seem more realistic. I’ve previously recommended that traders should go long any sell-offs in oil or gold. I think the same strategy should be adopted with copper, which is showing excellent relative strength vis-Ã -vis the metals.
The two big ifs are whether the dollar and/or the US stock market will snap this year. They are both vunerable. The recent 350% premium on the Baidu.com IPO reminded me of the psychological extremes reached in 1999. If the current animal spirits are symptomatic of a double top then it may still be a while before the rapidly inflating second bubble bursts. But in the meantime: caveat emptor.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.com
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Commodities Trading Results
From one month ago, Long Islands commodity trading account – started with $2000 – moved up to $5833 and mine advanced to $5018. Long Islands gains came mostly from going long coffee, corn, hogs and gold. He lost money selling short copper, which in trading parlance could be described as jumping in front of a speeding train. My gains came mostly from going long the Mexican peso and selling short US Treasury Bonds.
The price of oil racing to new highs makes my earlier prediction of $100 per barrel this decade seem more realistic. I’ve previously recommended that traders should go long any sell-offs in oil or gold. I think the same strategy should be adopted with copper, which is showing excellent relative strength vis-Ã -vis the metals.
The two big ifs are whether the dollar and/or the US stock market will snap this year. They are both vunerable. The recent 350% premium on the Baidu.com IPO reminded me of the psychological extremes reached in 1999. If the current animal spirits are symptomatic of a double top then it may still be a while before the rapidly inflating second bubble bursts. But in the meantime: caveat emptor.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.com
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
23 September 05
www.prisonbookprogram.org
The Prison Book Program – a non-profit organisation that sends free books to prisoners – has lost one of its main funding sources, and has had to reduce book shipments.
It was this hardworking organisation that provided Scooby – one of the young Chicanos at SMU2 – with Plato’s Republic and Machiavelli’s Prince. I believe that literacy and access to reading materials are crucial for rehabilitation.
Anyone wishing to help The Prison Book Program can click on the above link. They have been providing free books to prisoners for many years, and they are a worthy cause.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
www.prisonbookprogram.org
The Prison Book Program – a non-profit organisation that sends free books to prisoners – has lost one of its main funding sources, and has had to reduce book shipments.
It was this hardworking organisation that provided Scooby – one of the young Chicanos at SMU2 – with Plato’s Republic and Machiavelli’s Prince. I believe that literacy and access to reading materials are crucial for rehabilitation.
Anyone wishing to help The Prison Book Program can click on the above link. They have been providing free books to prisoners for many years, and they are a worthy cause.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Jon’s book wishlist – he is allowed used or new books as long as they are sent direct from publishers such as Amazon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
17 September 05
Book Stoppage
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Book Stoppage
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
17 September 05
CO3 Roberts
Earlier this year Zen suggested that I should seek viewpoints about the prison system from ADOC staff. When I was recently escorted to the CIP building, I quizzed CO3 Roberts in the following manner:
“What do you think about America having the highest incarceration rate in the world?”
“Its terrible. More people should be on house arrest.”
“Do you think an emphasis on rehabilitation as opposed to punishment would be a better approach?”
“To rehabilitate people we’d need meaningful programs. Programs cost money. Society wants its prisoners out of the way at least cost possible. The system we have now is designed to shock prisoners into not wanting to do crimes. Although we have had some directors who’ve discussed it, there is no meaningful rehabilitation.”
“What’s the recidivism rate?”
“I think its over seventy percent.”
“For the State of Arizona?”
“Yes. What’s happening is, for a lot of prisoners, this becomes all they know. They have little or no education, and the code they use in prison doesn’t work in the outside world. When someone’s been down for ten or fifteen years, he’s institutionalised and unable to function in society at all. Especially the old gangsters - they just come right back. Outside they’re nobodies, but in here they’re somebodies.”
“So you’re saying they form identities while in prison?”
“Yes.”
“Europeans are flabbergasted by the size of the US prison population. The world hasn’t seen mass incarceration like this since Stalin’s gulags.”
“Drugs and gangs are a big impetus.”
“Is the rate of mass incarceration sustainable?”
“No. People who are in prison who could be at home and employed, and contributing to society, these people should be released and closely supervised. They shouldn’t be locked up.”
“There were seven-hundred-thousand people arrested for marijuana offenses last year, don’t you think that’s obscene?”
“It depends, a person with three hundred pounds of marijuana is different from a personal user.”
“Nine out of ten of them were arrested for petty possession. The Supreme Court has ruled against the use of medical marijuana, enabling the police to raid the clinics.”
“I did notice that ruling.”
“It seems that people are being rounded up to fill all of the prisons they’re building.”
“Yes. They’re building one right down the street. A federal prison which should be open soon.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
CO3 Roberts
Earlier this year Zen suggested that I should seek viewpoints about the prison system from ADOC staff. When I was recently escorted to the CIP building, I quizzed CO3 Roberts in the following manner:
“What do you think about America having the highest incarceration rate in the world?”
“Its terrible. More people should be on house arrest.”
“Do you think an emphasis on rehabilitation as opposed to punishment would be a better approach?”
“To rehabilitate people we’d need meaningful programs. Programs cost money. Society wants its prisoners out of the way at least cost possible. The system we have now is designed to shock prisoners into not wanting to do crimes. Although we have had some directors who’ve discussed it, there is no meaningful rehabilitation.”
“What’s the recidivism rate?”
“I think its over seventy percent.”
“For the State of Arizona?”
“Yes. What’s happening is, for a lot of prisoners, this becomes all they know. They have little or no education, and the code they use in prison doesn’t work in the outside world. When someone’s been down for ten or fifteen years, he’s institutionalised and unable to function in society at all. Especially the old gangsters - they just come right back. Outside they’re nobodies, but in here they’re somebodies.”
“So you’re saying they form identities while in prison?”
“Yes.”
“Europeans are flabbergasted by the size of the US prison population. The world hasn’t seen mass incarceration like this since Stalin’s gulags.”
“Drugs and gangs are a big impetus.”
“Is the rate of mass incarceration sustainable?”
“No. People who are in prison who could be at home and employed, and contributing to society, these people should be released and closely supervised. They shouldn’t be locked up.”
“There were seven-hundred-thousand people arrested for marijuana offenses last year, don’t you think that’s obscene?”
“It depends, a person with three hundred pounds of marijuana is different from a personal user.”
“Nine out of ten of them were arrested for petty possession. The Supreme Court has ruled against the use of medical marijuana, enabling the police to raid the clinics.”
“I did notice that ruling.”
“It seems that people are being rounded up to fill all of the prisons they’re building.”
“Yes. They’re building one right down the street. A federal prison which should be open soon.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
12 September 05
The Great Spaghetti Strike of 2005
In a show of solidarity, most inmates chose to boycott a recent evening meal of spaghetti. The complaint: the quality of the spaghetti sauce.
The guards were expecting almost two hundred of us to turn out for chow.
“Building 4, A and B, you are cleared for chow.”
Inmates stayed in their cells.
“Able and Baker, Yard 4, it’s chow time.”
Still no strikebreakers. A few inmates stood in front of their cells.
“Attention yard four: if you’re gonna go eat, now’s the time to go eat. If not, take it in. This is not rec time.”
Some inmates came out and talked to their neighbours.
“If you’re gonna go eat, go eat. If not, take it inside and shut your doors.”
Still no takers.
“A run, what are you guys gonna do? If you’re gonna eat, let’s go!”
Pops emerged from his cell. Supported by his cane, he hobbled towards the chow hall.
“There’s a scab. It’s Pops!” Long Island shouted.
“Charlie, Dog, turn out for chow.”
One youngster joined Pops.
Four guards, clutching their radios, approached our building. With quizzical expressions on their faces, they circled around.
“Dog run, if you’re not going to chow, close your doors. Step back inside! Close your doors! Secure your doors if you’re not going to chow!”
The prison administration decided to keep us locked-down until the following day.
I questioned some inmates about the strike.
How do you feel about the ADOC spaghetti sauce?
“They should use it on Fear Factor,” Two Tonys said. “Joe Hogan should be offerin’ people fifty thou to eat that shit. Straight Fear Factor, brother.”
“I’d sooner eat red hot barbed wire,” Kenny said.
“It resembles cat chow: Tender Vittles or Nine Lives,” Adam said.
“They’re servin’ us shit – literally,” Junior Bull, Gerard Gravano, said.
“I don’t even think its spaghetti sauce,” said Gerard’s celly, Scotland.
“There’s too much of that fuckin’ flavour stuff – spices – in it,” said
Frankie.
“It’s putrid,” George said.
“Crappy but I’m used to it,” Shane said.
“Horrible!” Blackheart said.
“It’s Purina dog food!” Druid said.
“It's disgusting! Even the worms wouldn’t want to eat it. I wouldn’t give it to my dogs or even my worst enemies,” Xena said. “If we buried all of the spaghetti sauce in the prison in a mass grave, it would show up from a satellite as a radioactive spot on the earth.”
“I was hungry,” Slingblade said.
Were you surprised by the show of prisoner solidarity?
“Yeah” Ogre said. “Only two pieces of shit went and ate.”
“I was surprised too,” said George.
“Me too,” Adam said, “surprised and shocked.”
“One hundred percent surprised. It’s changed my fuckin’ outlook on the yard, “ said Two Tony’s.
“Yes, but on the other hand” Kenny said, “we must be out of our minds to go to the chow hall in the first place!”
“Exceedingly, extraordinarily so!” Blackheart said. “Freakin’ floored! I can’t even begin to express my surprise at the solidarity in this shithole camp.”
“Yeah – a little bit,” said Frankie.
“I wanted to eat,” said Slingblade.
How do you feel about missing your meal?
“We should do it every night until all of our shit’s fixed.”
“I feel great.”
“How do I feel about shittin’?”
“I feel like I didn’t get my shot on Fear Factor.”
“It didn’t bother me in the least. I made a tasty dish out of Summer Sausage.”
“I feel great about it. I hate all the food in there. It’s the cheapest shit.”
“A little hunger is better than a whole lot of nausea. If you fed that to a dog, you’d get a five hundred dollar fine and a year in jail.”
“I didn’t like it anyway.”
“I understand.”
Are you hoping for more than improved spaghetti sauce to come from this?
“No. I don’t even expect the sauce to be fixed. They ain’t gunna fix nothin’”
“Hoping, yes. But I don’t really expect anythin’ to come from this. Admin didn’t react as I expected.”
“I don’t see anythin’ happenin’.”
“Yes: steak and lobster.”
“Yes: to show the staff we are united.”
“I hope that they improve everythin’. The sauce is just a drop in the bucket.”
“No. I think it will get worse.”
“Only hard times, because when push comes to shove they have the keys.”
“Sure, but I don’t see it happenin’.”
“I never complained.”
How do you feel about the two strikebreakers?
“In a world full of open sores, I’m not surprised to find scabs somewhere.”
“Power to ‘em.”
“They should be #@!#, #!!@ and @##!”
“Pops is so senile he didn’t know where the fuck he was. He thought he was at Loopy’s Cafeteria.”
“For one of ‘em – Pops – it was okay, because if I was that old I’d have done the same thing. The other one: that’s on him.”
“Pops is too senile, and the other guy I don’t know.”
“They’re as bad as the spaghetti sauce.”
“I’ve got nothin’ for ‘em.”
“Pops is too fuckin’ old to know any better, and the other I don’t even know.”
“Pops is a loony-tune. I expected that he would go.”
“It was their choice. If they don’t want to be part of the rest of the yard, it’s on them.”
“It’s medical reasons: Pops don’t make any fuckin’ sense.”
What was Pops thinking? Was he of unsound mind? Did he think he had a date at Loopy’s Cafeteria? Perhaps he went for health reasons? I decided to quiz him, to find out.
“Pops, were you aware of the Great Spaghetti Strike of 2005?”
“I didn’t know what was goin’ on until I opened the kitchen door. The staff were cheerin’ and clappin’ for me. They gave me a double portion, a milk, and six pieces of toast.”
“How was the spaghetti sauce?”
“I didn’t eat much of it, that’s for sure.”
“It sounds like you came up on some extra food. Good job, Pops.”
“At my age, I need all I can get in this goddam place.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
The Great Spaghetti Strike of 2005
In a show of solidarity, most inmates chose to boycott a recent evening meal of spaghetti. The complaint: the quality of the spaghetti sauce.
The guards were expecting almost two hundred of us to turn out for chow.
“Building 4, A and B, you are cleared for chow.”
Inmates stayed in their cells.
“Able and Baker, Yard 4, it’s chow time.”
Still no strikebreakers. A few inmates stood in front of their cells.
“Attention yard four: if you’re gonna go eat, now’s the time to go eat. If not, take it in. This is not rec time.”
Some inmates came out and talked to their neighbours.
“If you’re gonna go eat, go eat. If not, take it inside and shut your doors.”
Still no takers.
“A run, what are you guys gonna do? If you’re gonna eat, let’s go!”
Pops emerged from his cell. Supported by his cane, he hobbled towards the chow hall.
“There’s a scab. It’s Pops!” Long Island shouted.
“Charlie, Dog, turn out for chow.”
One youngster joined Pops.
Four guards, clutching their radios, approached our building. With quizzical expressions on their faces, they circled around.
“Dog run, if you’re not going to chow, close your doors. Step back inside! Close your doors! Secure your doors if you’re not going to chow!”
The prison administration decided to keep us locked-down until the following day.
I questioned some inmates about the strike.
How do you feel about the ADOC spaghetti sauce?
“They should use it on Fear Factor,” Two Tonys said. “Joe Hogan should be offerin’ people fifty thou to eat that shit. Straight Fear Factor, brother.”
“I’d sooner eat red hot barbed wire,” Kenny said.
“It resembles cat chow: Tender Vittles or Nine Lives,” Adam said.
“They’re servin’ us shit – literally,” Junior Bull, Gerard Gravano, said.
“I don’t even think its spaghetti sauce,” said Gerard’s celly, Scotland.
“There’s too much of that fuckin’ flavour stuff – spices – in it,” said
Frankie.
“It’s putrid,” George said.
“Crappy but I’m used to it,” Shane said.
“Horrible!” Blackheart said.
“It’s Purina dog food!” Druid said.
“It's disgusting! Even the worms wouldn’t want to eat it. I wouldn’t give it to my dogs or even my worst enemies,” Xena said. “If we buried all of the spaghetti sauce in the prison in a mass grave, it would show up from a satellite as a radioactive spot on the earth.”
“I was hungry,” Slingblade said.
Were you surprised by the show of prisoner solidarity?
“Yeah” Ogre said. “Only two pieces of shit went and ate.”
“I was surprised too,” said George.
“Me too,” Adam said, “surprised and shocked.”
“One hundred percent surprised. It’s changed my fuckin’ outlook on the yard, “ said Two Tony’s.
“Yes, but on the other hand” Kenny said, “we must be out of our minds to go to the chow hall in the first place!”
“Exceedingly, extraordinarily so!” Blackheart said. “Freakin’ floored! I can’t even begin to express my surprise at the solidarity in this shithole camp.”
“Yeah – a little bit,” said Frankie.
“I wanted to eat,” said Slingblade.
How do you feel about missing your meal?
“We should do it every night until all of our shit’s fixed.”
“I feel great.”
“How do I feel about shittin’?”
“I feel like I didn’t get my shot on Fear Factor.”
“It didn’t bother me in the least. I made a tasty dish out of Summer Sausage.”
“I feel great about it. I hate all the food in there. It’s the cheapest shit.”
“A little hunger is better than a whole lot of nausea. If you fed that to a dog, you’d get a five hundred dollar fine and a year in jail.”
“I didn’t like it anyway.”
“I understand.”
Are you hoping for more than improved spaghetti sauce to come from this?
“No. I don’t even expect the sauce to be fixed. They ain’t gunna fix nothin’”
“Hoping, yes. But I don’t really expect anythin’ to come from this. Admin didn’t react as I expected.”
“I don’t see anythin’ happenin’.”
“Yes: steak and lobster.”
“Yes: to show the staff we are united.”
“I hope that they improve everythin’. The sauce is just a drop in the bucket.”
“No. I think it will get worse.”
“Only hard times, because when push comes to shove they have the keys.”
“Sure, but I don’t see it happenin’.”
“I never complained.”
How do you feel about the two strikebreakers?
“In a world full of open sores, I’m not surprised to find scabs somewhere.”
“Power to ‘em.”
“They should be #@!#, #!!@ and @##!”
“Pops is so senile he didn’t know where the fuck he was. He thought he was at Loopy’s Cafeteria.”
“For one of ‘em – Pops – it was okay, because if I was that old I’d have done the same thing. The other one: that’s on him.”
“Pops is too senile, and the other guy I don’t know.”
“They’re as bad as the spaghetti sauce.”
“I’ve got nothin’ for ‘em.”
“Pops is too fuckin’ old to know any better, and the other I don’t even know.”
“Pops is a loony-tune. I expected that he would go.”
“It was their choice. If they don’t want to be part of the rest of the yard, it’s on them.”
“It’s medical reasons: Pops don’t make any fuckin’ sense.”
What was Pops thinking? Was he of unsound mind? Did he think he had a date at Loopy’s Cafeteria? Perhaps he went for health reasons? I decided to quiz him, to find out.
“Pops, were you aware of the Great Spaghetti Strike of 2005?”
“I didn’t know what was goin’ on until I opened the kitchen door. The staff were cheerin’ and clappin’ for me. They gave me a double portion, a milk, and six pieces of toast.”
“How was the spaghetti sauce?”
“I didn’t eat much of it, that’s for sure.”
“It sounds like you came up on some extra food. Good job, Pops.”
“At my age, I need all I can get in this goddam place.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Confusion for readers trying to place comments on the blog.
Unfortunately, as many readers may have noticed, the comments were being 'invaded' by advertisements for web sites. To stop this we are now using the ‘word verification tool’. To place comments, readers have to type the words shown on the screen into the ‘word verification box’ before submitting. Apologies if this is leading to some confusion.
As many of you are new to the blog, we would like to point out that Jon does not have access to computers or the Internet. Jon hand writes the blogs and mails them to us (his parents in the UK). We type them up and post them onto the blog. That is why the blogs are always posted later than the date Jon writes them.
We also deal with the many emails sent to Jon’s email address writeinside@hotmail.com. We are happy to forward the emails to Jon and he will reply, but it can take up to ten days to reach him by post and another ten for his reply. If you would like to write directly to Jon, - and receiving correspondence is the highlight of his day, his postal address is below.
It is his birthday on the 28th October, if you would like to cheer him up with a greeting!
Thanks again for your tremendous support.
Derick & Barbara
Jon’s address:
Shaun Attwood ADC#187160
ASPC-Tucson
Santa Rita Unit 4-D-11, PO BOX 24406
10012 S Wilmot Rd
Tucson 85734-4406, Arizona, U.S.A
Unfortunately, as many readers may have noticed, the comments were being 'invaded' by advertisements for web sites. To stop this we are now using the ‘word verification tool’. To place comments, readers have to type the words shown on the screen into the ‘word verification box’ before submitting. Apologies if this is leading to some confusion.
As many of you are new to the blog, we would like to point out that Jon does not have access to computers or the Internet. Jon hand writes the blogs and mails them to us (his parents in the UK). We type them up and post them onto the blog. That is why the blogs are always posted later than the date Jon writes them.
We also deal with the many emails sent to Jon’s email address writeinside@hotmail.com. We are happy to forward the emails to Jon and he will reply, but it can take up to ten days to reach him by post and another ten for his reply. If you would like to write directly to Jon, - and receiving correspondence is the highlight of his day, his postal address is below.
It is his birthday on the 28th October, if you would like to cheer him up with a greeting!
Thanks again for your tremendous support.
Derick & Barbara
Jon’s address:
Shaun Attwood ADC#187160
ASPC-Tucson
Santa Rita Unit 4-D-11, PO BOX 24406
10012 S Wilmot Rd
Tucson 85734-4406, Arizona, U.S.A
8 September 05
Arpaio – Pro-life or Pro-death?
Recently, I received a letter from Linda Saville, cofounder of Mothers Against Arpaio, describing the treatment of a pregnant female at one of Joe Arpaio’s jails.
Here are Linda’s words:
“The girl is in her early to mid twenties. She was in either her late first trimester or early second trimester of pregnancy, so say about three or four months. She had not received any prenatal vitamins, or special accommodations for her pregnancy of any sort.
Her cellmate happened to be a registered nurse who witnessed this girl lose her baby. It starts as cramping; she doesn’t feel well; she starts bleeding; she asks for help from the guards. No response. More time goes by, still bleeding; still no help. The ‘nurse’/celly is caring for her, and also trying to get help.
Finally, she passes the baby in the toilet of her cell (and it’s not a quick process). She blacks out from the loss of blood (and probably the trauma as well) and the nurse/celly is finally able to get the attention of medical. A battle-axe bitch nurse comes in huffing and puffing because she actually had to go to the cell; she wakes the unfortunate inmate with smelling salts and (get this) actually has the nerve to tell this girl that she is going to get a trash can so that she can fish her own baby out of the toilet because she (the CHS nurse) is not going to touch it.
Can you imagine? It still gives me the chills to think about it.”
Both chilling and disturbing, Linda.
Arpaio’s rhetoric may be pro-life but his actions would seem to be pro-death, and his complicity in this stillbirth is yet another reason why Joe must go.
Arpaio loses (for a change) in the State Court, over women’s rights in prison.
Email Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post your comments below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Arpaio – Pro-life or Pro-death?
Recently, I received a letter from Linda Saville, cofounder of Mothers Against Arpaio, describing the treatment of a pregnant female at one of Joe Arpaio’s jails.
Here are Linda’s words:
“The girl is in her early to mid twenties. She was in either her late first trimester or early second trimester of pregnancy, so say about three or four months. She had not received any prenatal vitamins, or special accommodations for her pregnancy of any sort.
Her cellmate happened to be a registered nurse who witnessed this girl lose her baby. It starts as cramping; she doesn’t feel well; she starts bleeding; she asks for help from the guards. No response. More time goes by, still bleeding; still no help. The ‘nurse’/celly is caring for her, and also trying to get help.
Finally, she passes the baby in the toilet of her cell (and it’s not a quick process). She blacks out from the loss of blood (and probably the trauma as well) and the nurse/celly is finally able to get the attention of medical. A battle-axe bitch nurse comes in huffing and puffing because she actually had to go to the cell; she wakes the unfortunate inmate with smelling salts and (get this) actually has the nerve to tell this girl that she is going to get a trash can so that she can fish her own baby out of the toilet because she (the CHS nurse) is not going to touch it.
Can you imagine? It still gives me the chills to think about it.”
Both chilling and disturbing, Linda.
Arpaio’s rhetoric may be pro-life but his actions would seem to be pro-death, and his complicity in this stillbirth is yet another reason why Joe must go.
Arpaio loses (for a change) in the State Court, over women’s rights in prison.
Email Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post your comments below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
08 September 05
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
6 September 05
Best Prison Blog 2005!
Jons Jail Journal wins blog award from the Phoenix New Times. Read the story here.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Best Prison Blog 2005!
Jons Jail Journal wins blog award from the Phoenix New Times. Read the story here.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
4 September 05
Frankie V Big Man
African American Big Man - one of the widest inmates I've ever seen - challenged Frankie to a game of chess. Frankie sat down on the concrete and crossed his legs. Big Man parked his behind on a curb. The players eyeballed each other. The onlookers eyeballed the players. The game began.
Midway through the game Big Man said,"En passant. You passed my motherfuckin' pawn. You stop right there.” Big Man snatched one of Frankie’s pawns, and said, “Check! Gimme dat bitch. That’s what you get for runnin’ yer mouth. It’s like takin’ candy from a baby.” He hastily removed Frankie’s queen.
“Why you gotta cheat to win, Big Man? Can’t you win a motherfuckin' game fair and square?” Frankie said.
“What? I don’t hear you. Git your sorry ass down there. Git! I said git!” Big Man yelled.
“Hush your mouth. I’m gonna beat you without my queen.”
“Where’z you gonna go?”
“Where are you gonna go?”
“Same place you’re goin’.”
“What happened?”
“What happened to you? What happened to you?” Big Man said, his voice growing louder.
“If I tell you, I gotta kill you.”
“Touch it, move it, motherfucker!” Big Man said.
Frankie, having touched a piece that he didn’t want to move, was compelled to move it by Big Man, an adherent of the touch-it-move-it rule.
“Quit cryin’, motherfucker” Frankie said.
“Rape. This is motherfuckin' rape in the third degree,” Big Man said, after capitalising on Frankie’s mistake, and capturing all of Frankie's main pieces, leaving Frankie with just a knight.
“Rape in your ass, motherfucker. Gimme dat bitch. Check!” Frankie said.
The check enabled Frankie to capture Big Man's queen.
“Wotcha gonna do with dat horse. You ain’t got no hay. You ain’t got no hay, motherfucker!” Big Man said.
“Check!” Frankie said and snatched one of Big Man’s rooks.
“I didn’t need that rook and I don’t need no bitch. Check!” Big Man announced as his rook captured Frankie’s knight.
Frankie moved his king – his remaining piece – toward a corner of the board. Big Man’s pieces had Frankie’s king surrounded but Frankie was not in check. Frankie had nowhere to go.
“Stalemate!” Frankie declared.
“Dat ain’t no stalemate. You don’t know what the fuck yer talkin’ about. That ain’t no stalemate, motherfucker.”
“You can’t play for shit, Big Man!” Frankie said.
“It’s a stalemate,” I said.
Big Man looked at me and saw I was taking notes.
“It ain’t no stalemate. What the fuck are you writin’ down? Don’t be tryin’ to write no motherfucker a love letter. Ain’t nobody gonna write to you” Big Man said.
“He’s not in check. He can’t move. It’s a stalemate” I said.
Big Man stood up. Leaving a trail of insults echoing in our ears, he wobbled home.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Frankie V Big Man
African American Big Man - one of the widest inmates I've ever seen - challenged Frankie to a game of chess. Frankie sat down on the concrete and crossed his legs. Big Man parked his behind on a curb. The players eyeballed each other. The onlookers eyeballed the players. The game began.
Midway through the game Big Man said,"En passant. You passed my motherfuckin' pawn. You stop right there.” Big Man snatched one of Frankie’s pawns, and said, “Check! Gimme dat bitch. That’s what you get for runnin’ yer mouth. It’s like takin’ candy from a baby.” He hastily removed Frankie’s queen.
“Why you gotta cheat to win, Big Man? Can’t you win a motherfuckin' game fair and square?” Frankie said.
“What? I don’t hear you. Git your sorry ass down there. Git! I said git!” Big Man yelled.
“Hush your mouth. I’m gonna beat you without my queen.”
“Where’z you gonna go?”
“Where are you gonna go?”
“Same place you’re goin’.”
“What happened?”
“What happened to you? What happened to you?” Big Man said, his voice growing louder.
“If I tell you, I gotta kill you.”
“Touch it, move it, motherfucker!” Big Man said.
Frankie, having touched a piece that he didn’t want to move, was compelled to move it by Big Man, an adherent of the touch-it-move-it rule.
“Quit cryin’, motherfucker” Frankie said.
“Rape. This is motherfuckin' rape in the third degree,” Big Man said, after capitalising on Frankie’s mistake, and capturing all of Frankie's main pieces, leaving Frankie with just a knight.
“Rape in your ass, motherfucker. Gimme dat bitch. Check!” Frankie said.
The check enabled Frankie to capture Big Man's queen.
“Wotcha gonna do with dat horse. You ain’t got no hay. You ain’t got no hay, motherfucker!” Big Man said.
“Check!” Frankie said and snatched one of Big Man’s rooks.
“I didn’t need that rook and I don’t need no bitch. Check!” Big Man announced as his rook captured Frankie’s knight.
Frankie moved his king – his remaining piece – toward a corner of the board. Big Man’s pieces had Frankie’s king surrounded but Frankie was not in check. Frankie had nowhere to go.
“Stalemate!” Frankie declared.
“Dat ain’t no stalemate. You don’t know what the fuck yer talkin’ about. That ain’t no stalemate, motherfucker.”
“You can’t play for shit, Big Man!” Frankie said.
“It’s a stalemate,” I said.
Big Man looked at me and saw I was taking notes.
“It ain’t no stalemate. What the fuck are you writin’ down? Don’t be tryin’ to write no motherfucker a love letter. Ain’t nobody gonna write to you” Big Man said.
“He’s not in check. He can’t move. It’s a stalemate” I said.
Big Man stood up. Leaving a trail of insults echoing in our ears, he wobbled home.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
1 September 05
Anal Virginity Threats: Another Love Letter from Kenny
Threat level: moderate
Hello Jon, There aren’t too many pleasures I would keep from you should you ever develop a change from idle curiosity to open mindedness.
If a man has a secret relationship with a friend, and no one knows they pleasure each other, do they stay as straight as a guy who pleasure himself by the feel of a man’s hand – be it his own – or if by the grace of God he is born with a few less ribs and a limber spine, and it isn’t his hand he uses to please himself?
A guy I knew, who claimed to be straight, and talked frequently of his wife and girlfriends, and all the pleasures they brought, finally, one day, told me something like, “F—k it, if you want to give me head, its cool, it's been a long time.” After a few minutes, he caught his breath and said, “Damn, you did in five minutes what took my wife twenty!” I told him it always takes longer when you’re nervous.
Hey Jon – I won’t tell a soul if you won’t! Wars have been won and zippers lowered on the almighty secret. Any sexy guy that gives another sexy guy what they both secretly love and fantasize about finds pleasure beyond words.
Kenny
Email Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post a comment below:
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Anal Virginity Threats: Another Love Letter from Kenny
Threat level: moderate
Hello Jon, There aren’t too many pleasures I would keep from you should you ever develop a change from idle curiosity to open mindedness.
If a man has a secret relationship with a friend, and no one knows they pleasure each other, do they stay as straight as a guy who pleasure himself by the feel of a man’s hand – be it his own – or if by the grace of God he is born with a few less ribs and a limber spine, and it isn’t his hand he uses to please himself?
A guy I knew, who claimed to be straight, and talked frequently of his wife and girlfriends, and all the pleasures they brought, finally, one day, told me something like, “F—k it, if you want to give me head, its cool, it's been a long time.” After a few minutes, he caught his breath and said, “Damn, you did in five minutes what took my wife twenty!” I told him it always takes longer when you’re nervous.
Hey Jon – I won’t tell a soul if you won’t! Wars have been won and zippers lowered on the almighty secret. Any sexy guy that gives another sexy guy what they both secretly love and fantasize about finds pleasure beyond words.
Kenny
Email Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post a comment below:
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
30 August 05
Rockmother asked if my blog is uncensored.
Occasionally, my parents choose not to post blogs which they feel might put me in harms way.
I spend five or six hours a day writing with the zeal of a medieval scribe. It’s not all blogging though. There’s snail mail to respond to, and other writing projects that I’m working on – such as translating Kant’s entire works into prison slang (just kidding.)
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Rockmother asked if my blog is uncensored.
Occasionally, my parents choose not to post blogs which they feel might put me in harms way.
I spend five or six hours a day writing with the zeal of a medieval scribe. It’s not all blogging though. There’s snail mail to respond to, and other writing projects that I’m working on – such as translating Kant’s entire works into prison slang (just kidding.)
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
28 August 05
Slingblade At Work
Slingblade has been assigned a job as a porter. This morning he was mopping the runs.
“How much are they payin’ you to mop, Slingblade?” Adam asked.
“They said ten cents,” Slingblade grunted.
“How come only ten cents an hour?”
“They said 'cause I got no GED.”
“Are you gonna get a raise anytime soon?”
“They said perhaps a nickle or a dime in six months. George is gonna help me apply for it.”
“Ten cents ain’t much.”
“It ain’t bad. I’ve made fifteen hundred dollars in seven years.”
“Not bad, Slingblade. Not bad.”
Slingblade fell silent and his head trembled. Adam walked away, leaving Slingblade staring at the thunderheads moving over the prison. Slingblade suddenly seized the bucket and aimed it at some pigeon droppings on the concrete. The water landed and splashed some inmates who were playing cribbage. The inmates shook their heads at Slingblade. Slingblade snatched the mop and went to work on the pigeon droppings. At the end of the concrete, Slingblade put the mop down and refilled the bucket. Most of the inmates in the vacininty of Slingblade scattered, except for George, who was approaching Slingblade. Slingblade raised the bucket. His unsteady hands began to move the bucket forward. But his body jackknifed, the bucket flew in the air, and water went all over George.
“So that’s how you really feel about me, Slingblade,” George said.
Inmates laughed.
Slingblade shook a fist in the air. He chuckled and yelled “bah” twice. He tried to speak but only strange syllables came out.
“I’ll come and help you tonight,” George said, and left in a hurry.
For a few minutes, Slingblade gazed at nothing. Then, as if a reset button had been pressed, he grabbed the mop and set upon some fresh pigeon droppings as if nothing had happened.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Slingblade At Work
Slingblade has been assigned a job as a porter. This morning he was mopping the runs.
“How much are they payin’ you to mop, Slingblade?” Adam asked.
“They said ten cents,” Slingblade grunted.
“How come only ten cents an hour?”
“They said 'cause I got no GED.”
“Are you gonna get a raise anytime soon?”
“They said perhaps a nickle or a dime in six months. George is gonna help me apply for it.”
“Ten cents ain’t much.”
“It ain’t bad. I’ve made fifteen hundred dollars in seven years.”
“Not bad, Slingblade. Not bad.”
Slingblade fell silent and his head trembled. Adam walked away, leaving Slingblade staring at the thunderheads moving over the prison. Slingblade suddenly seized the bucket and aimed it at some pigeon droppings on the concrete. The water landed and splashed some inmates who were playing cribbage. The inmates shook their heads at Slingblade. Slingblade snatched the mop and went to work on the pigeon droppings. At the end of the concrete, Slingblade put the mop down and refilled the bucket. Most of the inmates in the vacininty of Slingblade scattered, except for George, who was approaching Slingblade. Slingblade raised the bucket. His unsteady hands began to move the bucket forward. But his body jackknifed, the bucket flew in the air, and water went all over George.
“So that’s how you really feel about me, Slingblade,” George said.
Inmates laughed.
Slingblade shook a fist in the air. He chuckled and yelled “bah” twice. He tried to speak but only strange syllables came out.
“I’ll come and help you tonight,” George said, and left in a hurry.
For a few minutes, Slingblade gazed at nothing. Then, as if a reset button had been pressed, he grabbed the mop and set upon some fresh pigeon droppings as if nothing had happened.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
26 August 05
A Sop To Cerberus
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
A Sop To Cerberus
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
CBS 5 News: TV Interview
I was recently interviewed by Greg Mocker of Phoenix's CBS 5 News. Thank you, Greg.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
I was recently interviewed by Greg Mocker of Phoenix's CBS 5 News. Thank you, Greg.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
24 August 05
Shane V Value Options
At this unit I share rec with twice as many inmates - twice as many sad stories. I recently met Shane, a good-natured thirty-year old, who described how he received an 11 1/4 year sentence from the same judge I was sentenced by.
Shane is mentally and physically ill. He has bipolar and borderline personality disorders. He has stage three cirrhosis of the liver from hepatitis C, which he contracted in prison. Shane’s first of many suicide attempts was at the age of seven when he stuck a knife into an electrical outlet. His mother abandoned him at age twelve and his father physically abused him, including smashing drinking glasses on his head. Also at age twelve, the State of Arizona started making him take Ritalin.
Shane’s adult life was spent either trying to kill himself – he ate glass, razor blades, and slashed his wrists countless times – or, in jails, prisons and psychiatric units, because he was committing petty crimes to obtain drugs to self medicate with.
Prior to this sentence for a minor burglary ($800 worth of stolen goods, which was returned to the victim), he spent seven years in prison functioning normally on psychiatric medication. Upon being released however, Value Options (the state contractor that was supposed to continue providing his medication) denied his application for medication on the basis that his behaviour had been normal in prison – which it had been because he had been getting the right drugs.
Off the medication, Shane reverted back to his old pattern of committing petty offences to finance drug purchases in order to ease his depressions. Value Options denied him any hope of living a normal life by stopping his medication.
Addendum
According to a local newspaper Value Options has a $1.3 billion contract with Maricopa County. The company has been paying out $100,00 per death caused by them delaying or denying medication for seriously mentally ill people. The article revealed that Value Options is a subsidiary of Virginia based FHC Health Systems. I would like to know who owns FHC as I could not find any stock listed under that name.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Shane V Value Options
At this unit I share rec with twice as many inmates - twice as many sad stories. I recently met Shane, a good-natured thirty-year old, who described how he received an 11 1/4 year sentence from the same judge I was sentenced by.
Shane is mentally and physically ill. He has bipolar and borderline personality disorders. He has stage three cirrhosis of the liver from hepatitis C, which he contracted in prison. Shane’s first of many suicide attempts was at the age of seven when he stuck a knife into an electrical outlet. His mother abandoned him at age twelve and his father physically abused him, including smashing drinking glasses on his head. Also at age twelve, the State of Arizona started making him take Ritalin.
Shane’s adult life was spent either trying to kill himself – he ate glass, razor blades, and slashed his wrists countless times – or, in jails, prisons and psychiatric units, because he was committing petty crimes to obtain drugs to self medicate with.
Prior to this sentence for a minor burglary ($800 worth of stolen goods, which was returned to the victim), he spent seven years in prison functioning normally on psychiatric medication. Upon being released however, Value Options (the state contractor that was supposed to continue providing his medication) denied his application for medication on the basis that his behaviour had been normal in prison – which it had been because he had been getting the right drugs.
Off the medication, Shane reverted back to his old pattern of committing petty offences to finance drug purchases in order to ease his depressions. Value Options denied him any hope of living a normal life by stopping his medication.
Addendum
According to a local newspaper Value Options has a $1.3 billion contract with Maricopa County. The company has been paying out $100,00 per death caused by them delaying or denying medication for seriously mentally ill people. The article revealed that Value Options is a subsidiary of Virginia based FHC Health Systems. I would like to know who owns FHC as I could not find any stock listed under that name.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
22 August 05
Pamela Anderson & Ogre
Today, during rec, Ogre stopped by and told Long Island about his friendship with Pamela Anderson.
“So you knew Pamela Anderson? You guys were tight, huh?” Long Island said in a sarcastic tone.
“Yeah, I did. My buddy was an installer for Culligan Water who Pam contacted to put a
soft-water system in. I helped him put it in.”
“Where at?”
“Her house on Mulholland Drive.”
“You’re full o’ shit. Describe the house then?”
“It was a bad-ass house with pillars outside the front door and inside. There was China everywhere. There was big China vases, and a white marble floor. The rest of the house had white carpet – throughout the house. She had a big-screen TV.”
“When was this?
“Almost ten years ago.”
“I think I saw that house on the news when the kid drowned. What did the backyard look like?”
“It was tropical, with palm trees around the pool.”
“So what happened? You guys put her soft-water system in and then what?”
“She invited us back to kick it and party.”
“So you guys got high?”
“I didn’t. This is back when I still had morals. I hated slammers back then.”
“Slammers, are you sayin’ that Pam was slammin'?”
“Yeah. That’s how she got hepatitis C – from slammin’ dope.”
“What drugs was she into?”
“Heroin and coke.”
“How do you know this?”
“That’s what she did. She shot up while I was there. One time she came out of the bedroom, stumbling and almost nodding out. She threw up in the bathroom.”
“How many times did you visit Pam?”
“Quite a few. She knows me by name.”
“How come you stopped going over there?”
“My wife stopped me. I’d just got married. She didn’t want me hangin’ out with the fine women over there.”
“So your wife was wearing the pants?”
“Yeah. I even took her to Pam's once, but only the maid was there.”
“What did the maid look like?”
“She was Mexican. She didn’t speak much English. She said, ‘No home! No home!’”
“Huh. Somehow, this is believable,” Long Island said.
“Believe what you want. It’s true,” Ogre replied.
email writeinside@hotmail.com with comments or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Pamela Anderson & Ogre
Today, during rec, Ogre stopped by and told Long Island about his friendship with Pamela Anderson.
“So you knew Pamela Anderson? You guys were tight, huh?” Long Island said in a sarcastic tone.
“Yeah, I did. My buddy was an installer for Culligan Water who Pam contacted to put a
soft-water system in. I helped him put it in.”
“Where at?”
“Her house on Mulholland Drive.”
“You’re full o’ shit. Describe the house then?”
“It was a bad-ass house with pillars outside the front door and inside. There was China everywhere. There was big China vases, and a white marble floor. The rest of the house had white carpet – throughout the house. She had a big-screen TV.”
“When was this?
“Almost ten years ago.”
“I think I saw that house on the news when the kid drowned. What did the backyard look like?”
“It was tropical, with palm trees around the pool.”
“So what happened? You guys put her soft-water system in and then what?”
“She invited us back to kick it and party.”
“So you guys got high?”
“I didn’t. This is back when I still had morals. I hated slammers back then.”
“Slammers, are you sayin’ that Pam was slammin'?”
“Yeah. That’s how she got hepatitis C – from slammin’ dope.”
“What drugs was she into?”
“Heroin and coke.”
“How do you know this?”
“That’s what she did. She shot up while I was there. One time she came out of the bedroom, stumbling and almost nodding out. She threw up in the bathroom.”
“How many times did you visit Pam?”
“Quite a few. She knows me by name.”
“How come you stopped going over there?”
“My wife stopped me. I’d just got married. She didn’t want me hangin’ out with the fine women over there.”
“So your wife was wearing the pants?”
“Yeah. I even took her to Pam's once, but only the maid was there.”
“What did the maid look like?”
“She was Mexican. She didn’t speak much English. She said, ‘No home! No home!’”
“Huh. Somehow, this is believable,” Long Island said.
“Believe what you want. It’s true,” Ogre replied.
email writeinside@hotmail.com with comments or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
19 August 05
If a Member
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
If a Member
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
17 August 05
Xena and the Scorpion
“Give it to me. I wannit,” Xena yelled at BHF who was holding a large scorpion by its tail.
BHF placed the scorpion on the ground.
Xena put the scorpion on the back of his right hand. The scorpion stung one of Xena's fingers. Xena laughed.
Nearby, a crowd was awaiting the opening of the chow hall. Xena, carrying the scorpion, entered the crowd. As Xena moved forward the crowd parted. I was Xena’s only follower.
“Look at Xena’s crazy ass.”
“She’s nuts!”
“What’s wrong with you, Xena?”
“Uh-oh, here she comes.”
“Wow, that’s a big-ass scorpion.”
“It stung her.”
“Does it hurt, Xena?”
“It hurts like a motherfucker, but it’ll stop hurting soon.” Addressing the scorpion in a voice mothers reserve for talking to babies, Xena said, “I know you didn’t mean to sting me like that. You was just scared. I still love you little buddy. I just wanna take you home with me.”
Xena freed the scorpion through the perimeter fence - out of the reach of certain inmates who were conspiring to kill it.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Xena and the Scorpion
“Give it to me. I wannit,” Xena yelled at BHF who was holding a large scorpion by its tail.
BHF placed the scorpion on the ground.
Xena put the scorpion on the back of his right hand. The scorpion stung one of Xena's fingers. Xena laughed.
Nearby, a crowd was awaiting the opening of the chow hall. Xena, carrying the scorpion, entered the crowd. As Xena moved forward the crowd parted. I was Xena’s only follower.
“Look at Xena’s crazy ass.”
“She’s nuts!”
“What’s wrong with you, Xena?”
“Uh-oh, here she comes.”
“Wow, that’s a big-ass scorpion.”
“It stung her.”
“Does it hurt, Xena?”
“It hurts like a motherfucker, but it’ll stop hurting soon.” Addressing the scorpion in a voice mothers reserve for talking to babies, Xena said, “I know you didn’t mean to sting me like that. You was just scared. I still love you little buddy. I just wanna take you home with me.”
Xena freed the scorpion through the perimeter fence - out of the reach of certain inmates who were conspiring to kill it.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
15 August 05
TB Test Results
The nurse summoned a group of us. She asked for my name and then touched the TB-test mark on my arm - a pink circle, barely a centimetre in diameter. She wrote down the number 2. “You’re a two” she said.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“You’re alright. You’re not a five.”
“What does that mean?”
“You need to stay away from people with coughs.”
“Alright. Thanks.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
TB Test Results
The nurse summoned a group of us. She asked for my name and then touched the TB-test mark on my arm - a pink circle, barely a centimetre in diameter. She wrote down the number 2. “You’re a two” she said.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“You’re alright. You’re not a five.”
“What does that mean?”
“You need to stay away from people with coughs.”
“Alright. Thanks.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
ARPAIO WEBCHAT TRANSCRIPT
The BBC Radio 4 Today programme brought Sheriff Arpaio to the UK to see what he made of the British justice system. He took part in a Webchat at the end of his visit. Read the transcript below.
Name: Jill Berliand
Question: I would like to ask if the American method - ie living in tents in hot weather and being treated harshly has a better record when it comes to recidivism? Who monitors the prisons, who looks after a prisoners human rights?
Answer: Almost 2,000 inmates live in tents are convicted and serving time. Many inmates and families have thanked me since the inmates say they will never come back to jail.
Name: Steve Cushion London Metropolitan University
Question: In 1980 there were 300,000 people in prison in the United States. By 2001 there were 2,700,000 in jail. With the exception of Stalin's Russia and Nazi Germany, no country has ever had such a high prison population. In the USA, law and order has always been a right wing code word for racism and an African-American is seven times more likely to be imprisoned than the national average. What does the Sheriff say about this?
Answer: In my jails 5% out of over 10,000 prisoners are of African American background. We do not have racism. The criminal justice system would not allow racism.
Name: Derick Attwood
Question: Our son was an unsentenced guest in Towers Jail and also your infamous Madison Street Jail, which is now fortunately closed. During his two years in your 'care' he was subjected to infestations of cockroaches, mouldy rotten food and regularly broken air conditioning in 130 degree+ temperatures which caused fungal, skin and eye infections which he still has scars from. How do you justify this abuse of unsentenced prisoners and in view of the recidivism rate, do you think this treatment will make your inmates better citizens?
Answer: It is unfortunate that your son had to spend 2 years before I believe he went to court to either be sentenced or released. We had built two new hi-tech jails which should relieve any problems in the future, if your son is telling the truth in/or over reacting to his treatment.
Name: Joe Morison
Question: You talk a lot about punishment. What purpose do you see punishment fulfilling? As Gandhi said: an eye for eye makes for a blind world.
Answer: We should hold people accountable for their actions. You should never live better in jail than on the outside. We used to punish our children and take away their privileges. I use the same philosophy in running the jails.
Name: George Foster
Question: I have heard the usual liberal views on rehabilitation this week. What about the victims!!. Yes our prisons are used to jail people who are not a threat to public health or property, but there are also people who pose a threat to the wellbeing and belongings/property of law abiding citizens. You might want to ask some victims of crime for their views on what is appropriate. What role do victims have in US?
Answer: All I hear is rehabilitation and education for the inmates. We seem to forget the victims. Criminals must be held responsible for the crimes and we should never forget the destruction of lives and property. Like those criminals who have no respect for the victims of crime. Victims now have the right to face the accuser in court on serious crimes.
Name: John Percival
Question: The Sheriff's comment about no mention being made of punishment for crime in this country is right. It is not vengeful to want punishment for offenders against society, we need a deterrent against persistent criminals and protection for victims of crime. A slap on the wrist for offenders is not enough, as the lawlessness in towns and cities proves.
Answer: Punishment is a deterrence against crime. We should never forget the victims. The first priority of Government is safety of it's people.
Name: Richard Lyon
Question: Does Mr Arpaio feel that the three strikes rule in USA is justified given the large number of people there serving life for trivial crimes?
Answer: My opinion as to why crime has been reduced by 20% across the United States is that more people are in jail. Those receiving long sentences or the three strikes rule are not in jail for trivial crimes.
Name:Jenny Russell, Maricopa County Resident:
Question: I'd like to pose a question to sheriff Joe. I'd like him to address the deaths that take place in his county jails. I'd also like him to explain the fact that crime has risen every year since he's been sheriff--disproportionate to the population growth, if the harsh conditions in his jails are supposed to deter crime.
Answer: Crime has gone down in Maricopa County especially those areas of the county that the sheriff is responsible for. Over 1 million more people have moved to Maricopa County since I have been the sheriff which naturally will increase the crime rate and incarceration. When you have 10 thousand people a day in a jail unfortunately there may be some deaths just like any other town. Many prisoners come to jail not in healthy condition. High on drugs in not receiving good health care prior to being arrested and booked into the jail system.
Name: Andrew Shaw
Question: I was interested in your piece with Sheriff Joe Arpaio. My thoughts are that prison sentencing should be split into 2 parts. A period for punishment where prisoners get no privileges and live a very basic existence. Then a period of rehabilitation when privileges are introduced to ready them for release back into the community if they are deemed safe.
Answer: I have 2 thousand inmates out of 10 thousand that have been convicted. We offer those inmates education and rehabilitation before they are released into the community.
As he was unable to hear Joe Arpaio himself, Jon would appreciate your comments on the above and, if you heard it, the BBC Today’s programme about criminal justice.
Email Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below:
Tent City - Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Shameful Creation
Guest blog by Pearl Wilson, co-founder, Mothers Against Arpaio (MAA)
Letter to Maricopa County Board of Supervisors
I would like to bring to your attention a problem in Maricopa County; one that I believe you are already familiar with. The problem is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his greatest source of nationwide publicity, the infamous Tent City.
The conditions in Tent City are extremely dangerous, for several reasons. The lack of inmate supervision, due to the drastically low ratio of guards per inmates, the lack of management controls to secure the safety/health of inmates and guards, overcrowding issues, inmate violence, access to drugs and contraband, and the lawsuits that are filed against Maricopa County as a result of these conditions, screams for more attention from you, the Board of Supervisors.
I do not present this problem to you merely as a concerned county resident, but as a woman who has been directly affected by this terrible problem. My name is Pearl Wilson and my loving son, Phillip Wilson, was murdered in Tent City in 2003. While serving a short sentence for a simple probation violation, my son was horribly beaten by unsupervised inmates, resulting in a coma, and later his untimely death.
But his is not the only case; nowhere close. As I write this letter, there are over 1,500 cases pending in which Sheriff Joe Arpaio is listed as a defendant. These cases are costing the county millions of dollars, and will continue to do so until something is done to correct the problem. With two new jails having been recently opened, at a cost of $500 million to the taxpayers, there should be absolutely no reason to keep Tent City open. It seems quite clear the only reason Tent City is still open is for Sheriff Arpaio’s own self-promotion.
An ASU study – commissioned by Arpaio himself – concluded that Tent City does not deter crime in Maricopa County. Yet, Arpaio continues to punish detainees and inmates under the horrific conditions of Tent City.
I am very interested to know the Board of Supervisors’ rationale of this issue.
Why is the county not making full use of the two new jails, and who do we keep Tent City open when it is such an obvious liability to the county? Understaffing in the county jails has been an issue almost the entire time Joe Arpaio has been in office, and is no longer an acceptable excuse. Recent publicity suggests that his own employees are uncomfortable working for him and fear retaliation if they choose not to openly support him. Is the sheriff himself to blame for the understaffing issue, or does the problem go deeper? I know in my heart that no amount of money will ever bring my son back. The only thing that will truly bring comfort to myself and my family is knowing that while the senseless death of my son could have been prevented and wasn’t, we can prevent more wrongful deaths, of inmates and guards, by tearing down the tents.
I humbly ask you to please consider my request for Tent City to be torn down.
It is not worth the publicity to lose lives, even the lives of those people who have committed crimes. Since the tents were designed to handle overcrowding and that is no longer an issue, due to the construction of the new jails, it makes sense to move the inmates to indoor facilities where they can be better monitored. It would increase the safety for everyone involved, including the detention officers.
I anxiously await a reply from the board, and hope that you will thoughtfully consider my request.
Jon would like to have your comments on Pearl's article and your opinions of Tent City
Jon spent two years in Arpaio’s jails click here to get the truth.
Letter to Maricopa County Board of Supervisors
I would like to bring to your attention a problem in Maricopa County; one that I believe you are already familiar with. The problem is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his greatest source of nationwide publicity, the infamous Tent City.
The conditions in Tent City are extremely dangerous, for several reasons. The lack of inmate supervision, due to the drastically low ratio of guards per inmates, the lack of management controls to secure the safety/health of inmates and guards, overcrowding issues, inmate violence, access to drugs and contraband, and the lawsuits that are filed against Maricopa County as a result of these conditions, screams for more attention from you, the Board of Supervisors.
I do not present this problem to you merely as a concerned county resident, but as a woman who has been directly affected by this terrible problem. My name is Pearl Wilson and my loving son, Phillip Wilson, was murdered in Tent City in 2003. While serving a short sentence for a simple probation violation, my son was horribly beaten by unsupervised inmates, resulting in a coma, and later his untimely death.
But his is not the only case; nowhere close. As I write this letter, there are over 1,500 cases pending in which Sheriff Joe Arpaio is listed as a defendant. These cases are costing the county millions of dollars, and will continue to do so until something is done to correct the problem. With two new jails having been recently opened, at a cost of $500 million to the taxpayers, there should be absolutely no reason to keep Tent City open. It seems quite clear the only reason Tent City is still open is for Sheriff Arpaio’s own self-promotion.
An ASU study – commissioned by Arpaio himself – concluded that Tent City does not deter crime in Maricopa County. Yet, Arpaio continues to punish detainees and inmates under the horrific conditions of Tent City.
I am very interested to know the Board of Supervisors’ rationale of this issue.
Why is the county not making full use of the two new jails, and who do we keep Tent City open when it is such an obvious liability to the county? Understaffing in the county jails has been an issue almost the entire time Joe Arpaio has been in office, and is no longer an acceptable excuse. Recent publicity suggests that his own employees are uncomfortable working for him and fear retaliation if they choose not to openly support him. Is the sheriff himself to blame for the understaffing issue, or does the problem go deeper? I know in my heart that no amount of money will ever bring my son back. The only thing that will truly bring comfort to myself and my family is knowing that while the senseless death of my son could have been prevented and wasn’t, we can prevent more wrongful deaths, of inmates and guards, by tearing down the tents.
I humbly ask you to please consider my request for Tent City to be torn down.
It is not worth the publicity to lose lives, even the lives of those people who have committed crimes. Since the tents were designed to handle overcrowding and that is no longer an issue, due to the construction of the new jails, it makes sense to move the inmates to indoor facilities where they can be better monitored. It would increase the safety for everyone involved, including the detention officers.
I anxiously await a reply from the board, and hope that you will thoughtfully consider my request.
Jon would like to have your comments on Pearl's article and your opinions of Tent City
Jon spent two years in Arpaio’s jails click here to get the truth.
13 August 05
Pricked
At 7am my cell door clicked open.
“Jon, come out!” said Officer Redrock, who was accompanied by a doctor.
“I’m takin’ a shit. Can you wait a minute?” Long Island pled his case.
I stayed put because the toilet is adjacent to the cell door.
“Tough shit! Jon, come out, now!”
Disobeying an order is a ticketable offense, so I opened the door.
What's this?” I said, and squinted at the syringe the doctor was fondling.
“TB test,” the doctor said.
“I read that these shots mess up the immune system. I feel perfectly healthy. Can I sign a refusal for medical treatment?”
“Absolutely not. If you don’t take it voluntarily, I’ll call out the turtles [the goon squad], and they’ll strap you down and force you to take it,” the doctor said while eyeballing the veins in my left arm.
“That’s just great. I’m sick of these - ouch!”
“What a way to start the day, eh?” Officer Redrock said.
“Yeah. Thanks.” I said and shut the door.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Pricked
At 7am my cell door clicked open.
“Jon, come out!” said Officer Redrock, who was accompanied by a doctor.
“I’m takin’ a shit. Can you wait a minute?” Long Island pled his case.
I stayed put because the toilet is adjacent to the cell door.
“Tough shit! Jon, come out, now!”
Disobeying an order is a ticketable offense, so I opened the door.
What's this?” I said, and squinted at the syringe the doctor was fondling.
“TB test,” the doctor said.
“I read that these shots mess up the immune system. I feel perfectly healthy. Can I sign a refusal for medical treatment?”
“Absolutely not. If you don’t take it voluntarily, I’ll call out the turtles [the goon squad], and they’ll strap you down and force you to take it,” the doctor said while eyeballing the veins in my left arm.
“That’s just great. I’m sick of these - ouch!”
“What a way to start the day, eh?” Officer Redrock said.
“Yeah. Thanks.” I said and shut the door.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
11 August 05
Futures Trading Update
In a previous blog, I wrote about Long Island’s and my futures trading results. (We are trading on paper, not with money.) The good performance has continued. As of the 8th July closing prices, Long Islands equity is $5549.36 and mine is $4695.75. Our accounts have both more than doubled initial investment stakes of $2000 in less than two months. My soybean position shot upwards, and Long Island scored big gains in gold and corn. We’ve been letting our profits run, and stopping our losses quickly.
I’m wondering if we’ll still be significantly ahead of the futures trading pros by year's end?
Addendum
Jon wrote in a letter:
It looks like back home outside. Rain clouds, pitter patter. Puddles everywhere. We arrived here at the hottest week on record, but now the brutal humidity is gone and it’s much better than Buckeye, 10 degrees and less in temperature. Our window is open and there’s a sweetness to the air.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Futures Trading Update
In a previous blog, I wrote about Long Island’s and my futures trading results. (We are trading on paper, not with money.) The good performance has continued. As of the 8th July closing prices, Long Islands equity is $5549.36 and mine is $4695.75. Our accounts have both more than doubled initial investment stakes of $2000 in less than two months. My soybean position shot upwards, and Long Island scored big gains in gold and corn. We’ve been letting our profits run, and stopping our losses quickly.
I’m wondering if we’ll still be significantly ahead of the futures trading pros by year's end?
Addendum
Jon wrote in a letter:
It looks like back home outside. Rain clouds, pitter patter. Puddles everywhere. We arrived here at the hottest week on record, but now the brutal humidity is gone and it’s much better than Buckeye, 10 degrees and less in temperature. Our window is open and there’s a sweetness to the air.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
09 August 05
Arpaio’s Sci-Fi Slammer
Maniac Mack is now housed in Arpaio's new jailhouse. Mack wrote:
I have graduated to a level of classification reserved only for the most violent, dangerous, and seasoned inmates.
Here, no chances are taken. Indeed, for any and all human contact we must be shackled in leg irons, and belly belts with handcuffs attached. To come out of a cell, two officers must be present. All officers must wear stab vests at all times. Shankings – with homemade knives and sharp stabbing objects – are common practice. Stab vests cover all vitals not located on the face, and below the belt. The neck is covered by flaps attached to the vest.
‘Respect’ is the name of the game. A wrong word spoken in jest or seriousness can result in a shanking. This applies double to detention officers. If an officer disrepects an inmate, he is an instant target for up and coming youngsters to earn respect, and make a ‘name’ by turning that officer into a human pin cushion.
We are routinely strip searched. Any time we go to court, a special chair known as ‘The Boss’ awaits our return. Stripped to boxers, inmates sit on ‘The Boss’, and this miracle of modern technology lets the officers know if any metal is hidden in your rectum.
Visits are through video visitation. Games with our snail mail are common. You’d have to see it to believe it, and I don’t wish this on anybody.
Our cells are 6ft x 20ft. One man cells. Narrow little boxes of despair. Freezing cold they are. Punishment for blocking up the air conditioning ducts is to be stripped out for 72 hours. Mattress, everything, gone! Just you and your chattering teeth, hard nipples, and goose bumps.
'Restrictions got nothing on being stripped out,' says Vanilla Gorilla – spokesman for the whites. 'Fucking blizzard-like conditions, I didn’t sleep for almost three fucking days!'
Sheriff Joe has done everything to make this place a no-joke area, and still we laugh and joke around. It’s a subtle 'fuck you!' to the Man, saying you can’t break us. Starve me, freeze me, put me in solitary, I’m still laughing. The 'fuck you!' is for you Joe Arpaio, you still haven’t made a facilty that can break the indomitable human spirit.
Maniac Mack
Many thanks to Maniac Mack for what possibly may be the first insider account of Arpaio’s new jail to find its way onto the Internet.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Arpaio’s Sci-Fi Slammer
Maniac Mack is now housed in Arpaio's new jailhouse. Mack wrote:
I have graduated to a level of classification reserved only for the most violent, dangerous, and seasoned inmates.
Here, no chances are taken. Indeed, for any and all human contact we must be shackled in leg irons, and belly belts with handcuffs attached. To come out of a cell, two officers must be present. All officers must wear stab vests at all times. Shankings – with homemade knives and sharp stabbing objects – are common practice. Stab vests cover all vitals not located on the face, and below the belt. The neck is covered by flaps attached to the vest.
‘Respect’ is the name of the game. A wrong word spoken in jest or seriousness can result in a shanking. This applies double to detention officers. If an officer disrepects an inmate, he is an instant target for up and coming youngsters to earn respect, and make a ‘name’ by turning that officer into a human pin cushion.
We are routinely strip searched. Any time we go to court, a special chair known as ‘The Boss’ awaits our return. Stripped to boxers, inmates sit on ‘The Boss’, and this miracle of modern technology lets the officers know if any metal is hidden in your rectum.
Visits are through video visitation. Games with our snail mail are common. You’d have to see it to believe it, and I don’t wish this on anybody.
Our cells are 6ft x 20ft. One man cells. Narrow little boxes of despair. Freezing cold they are. Punishment for blocking up the air conditioning ducts is to be stripped out for 72 hours. Mattress, everything, gone! Just you and your chattering teeth, hard nipples, and goose bumps.
'Restrictions got nothing on being stripped out,' says Vanilla Gorilla – spokesman for the whites. 'Fucking blizzard-like conditions, I didn’t sleep for almost three fucking days!'
Sheriff Joe has done everything to make this place a no-joke area, and still we laugh and joke around. It’s a subtle 'fuck you!' to the Man, saying you can’t break us. Starve me, freeze me, put me in solitary, I’m still laughing. The 'fuck you!' is for you Joe Arpaio, you still haven’t made a facilty that can break the indomitable human spirit.
Maniac Mack
Many thanks to Maniac Mack for what possibly may be the first insider account of Arpaio’s new jail to find its way onto the Internet.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
07 August 05
Apples And Oranges
Some inmates, aware that Long Island’s release date – 10 December 05 - is fast approaching, have asked if I am shopping for a new cellmate. I was surprised when Ogre put himself in the running. Fortunately, I was with Two Tonys when I was approached by Ogre.
“I think we should be cellies when Long Island leaves,” Ogre said.
“You’re kiddin’ right?” I said.
“No. I’m serious. All you do is read and write all day. You don’t smoke. You don’t do dope. You don’t get involved in any drama. You’d be a good celly.”
“You’re too volatile. I need peace and quiet. You snap when you don’t take your meds. I heard about you recently choking Tom and almost throwing him off the upper tier.”
“Are you sayin’ you don’t wanna be my celly?”
“Listen, Ogre," Two Tonys said," this ain’t fuckin happenin’. Datin’ agencies make fortunes matchin’ motherfuckers. I’m lookin’ at his profile 'n’ I’m lookin’ at your profile - no fuckin’ match!”
“Whaddya mean?” Ogre said.
“You’re too fuckin’ crude for him. He’ll be writin’ an’ tryin’ to do his fuckin’ yoga, and you’ll be fartin’ and gigglin’ all fuckin’ day long. You’re gonna hafta fuhgeddaboutit.”
“Whatever,” Ogre said.
“It ain’t gonna work, Ogre. In the mornin’s this guy runs a fuckin’ office in his cell. How’s he gonna do that with you takin’ a shit every forty minutes?”
“I gotta shit when I gotta shit.”
“An’ the last celly you had, all he did was read his fuckin’ dictionary. He made Daniel Webster look like a fuckin’ chump. An’ you almost choked that motherfucker too!” Two Tonys said.
“So who do you think would make a good celly for Ogre?” I said.
“He can live with killers, robbers, psychos – any violent motherfuckers. No chomos or rapos. But really he needs to be by his fuckin’ self.”
Ogre went silent.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Apples And Oranges
Some inmates, aware that Long Island’s release date – 10 December 05 - is fast approaching, have asked if I am shopping for a new cellmate. I was surprised when Ogre put himself in the running. Fortunately, I was with Two Tonys when I was approached by Ogre.
“I think we should be cellies when Long Island leaves,” Ogre said.
“You’re kiddin’ right?” I said.
“No. I’m serious. All you do is read and write all day. You don’t smoke. You don’t do dope. You don’t get involved in any drama. You’d be a good celly.”
“You’re too volatile. I need peace and quiet. You snap when you don’t take your meds. I heard about you recently choking Tom and almost throwing him off the upper tier.”
“Are you sayin’ you don’t wanna be my celly?”
“Listen, Ogre," Two Tonys said," this ain’t fuckin happenin’. Datin’ agencies make fortunes matchin’ motherfuckers. I’m lookin’ at his profile 'n’ I’m lookin’ at your profile - no fuckin’ match!”
“Whaddya mean?” Ogre said.
“You’re too fuckin’ crude for him. He’ll be writin’ an’ tryin’ to do his fuckin’ yoga, and you’ll be fartin’ and gigglin’ all fuckin’ day long. You’re gonna hafta fuhgeddaboutit.”
“Whatever,” Ogre said.
“It ain’t gonna work, Ogre. In the mornin’s this guy runs a fuckin’ office in his cell. How’s he gonna do that with you takin’ a shit every forty minutes?”
“I gotta shit when I gotta shit.”
“An’ the last celly you had, all he did was read his fuckin’ dictionary. He made Daniel Webster look like a fuckin’ chump. An’ you almost choked that motherfucker too!” Two Tonys said.
“So who do you think would make a good celly for Ogre?” I said.
“He can live with killers, robbers, psychos – any violent motherfuckers. No chomos or rapos. But really he needs to be by his fuckin’ self.”
Ogre went silent.
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
05 August 05
Average Day
Martine, from The Netherlands, recently asked what I do and what I study all day.
Every day is similar. I try to write for five hours in the AM. In the PM I try to read at least one hundred to one hundred and fifty book pages.
My in-cell breaks consist of yoga, meditation, and naps.
Most of the out of the cell time is spent between chow, showers, and chess. On an alternating basis, I get either two or four hours of rec each day. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons, I am assigned to the education building for independent study, where I practice Spanish or Chinese using books and cassette tapes that I have purchased. I am also enrolled in several ADOC programs.
My favourite study areas are: behaviourial finance, the classics, creative writing, economic history, forensic accountancy, literary criticism, Mandarin, military science, penology, psychology, political philosophy, Spanish, and the subject that I’ve studied the most: the stock market.
I am grateful to all of you whose book contributions have kept me busy.
Cheers! Jon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Average Day
Martine, from The Netherlands, recently asked what I do and what I study all day.
Every day is similar. I try to write for five hours in the AM. In the PM I try to read at least one hundred to one hundred and fifty book pages.
My in-cell breaks consist of yoga, meditation, and naps.
Most of the out of the cell time is spent between chow, showers, and chess. On an alternating basis, I get either two or four hours of rec each day. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons, I am assigned to the education building for independent study, where I practice Spanish or Chinese using books and cassette tapes that I have purchased. I am also enrolled in several ADOC programs.
My favourite study areas are: behaviourial finance, the classics, creative writing, economic history, forensic accountancy, literary criticism, Mandarin, military science, penology, psychology, political philosophy, Spanish, and the subject that I’ve studied the most: the stock market.
I am grateful to all of you whose book contributions have kept me busy.
Cheers! Jon.
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
03 August 05
Humidity
Why can’t I sleep? Did someone sprinkle speed into this evening’s chow? Maybe the whirring of the fan is keeping me awake? Should I shove more wet tissue into my already blocked up earholes? Maybe I should change sleeping position? But I’ve changed position over and over for the past two hours – to no avail. Actually, my left arm does feel a little dead. Go on, move around one more time. Maybe it’ll work.
Why is my mind racing with trivialities? Who cares that you got bland navy beans for dinner when it was supposed to have been one of your favourite trays: veggie chillie. Who cares if you can’t make phone calls. T–Netix doesn’t give a damn. Who cares that your Investors Business Daily arrives a day late. You’re in T-town now, you’re on Tucson time.
Calm your mind. Stop thinking about silly things. Didn’t you just read Nietzsche’s words this evening, “The worst things…are the petty thoughts”? Endure gracefully like Nietzsche’s Ubermansch (Superman) would.
Why does the air feel as if it’s eating my skin? Why can I feel pimples erupting on my head and face? Why are my back hairs tickling me? I already tossed my cover sheet, which was cling wrapping sweat to my body. I’m so sick of scratching my clammy skin.
“It’s humid tonight,” mumbled Long Island who was also playing semi-naked Twister on his mattress.
Humidity! That’s it! Humidity has come to itch and scratch and nibble my skin, to make me rotate like a kebab, to bully me to make me stronger.
Now that I know my invisible enemy’s name, I can move on. Silence petty thoughts! Ponder only this mantra:
Om Nama Shivaya
Om Nama Shivaya
Om Nama Shivaya
ZZZzzzzzzzz……
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Humidity
Why can’t I sleep? Did someone sprinkle speed into this evening’s chow? Maybe the whirring of the fan is keeping me awake? Should I shove more wet tissue into my already blocked up earholes? Maybe I should change sleeping position? But I’ve changed position over and over for the past two hours – to no avail. Actually, my left arm does feel a little dead. Go on, move around one more time. Maybe it’ll work.
Why is my mind racing with trivialities? Who cares that you got bland navy beans for dinner when it was supposed to have been one of your favourite trays: veggie chillie. Who cares if you can’t make phone calls. T–Netix doesn’t give a damn. Who cares that your Investors Business Daily arrives a day late. You’re in T-town now, you’re on Tucson time.
Calm your mind. Stop thinking about silly things. Didn’t you just read Nietzsche’s words this evening, “The worst things…are the petty thoughts”? Endure gracefully like Nietzsche’s Ubermansch (Superman) would.
Why does the air feel as if it’s eating my skin? Why can I feel pimples erupting on my head and face? Why are my back hairs tickling me? I already tossed my cover sheet, which was cling wrapping sweat to my body. I’m so sick of scratching my clammy skin.
“It’s humid tonight,” mumbled Long Island who was also playing semi-naked Twister on his mattress.
Humidity! That’s it! Humidity has come to itch and scratch and nibble my skin, to make me rotate like a kebab, to bully me to make me stronger.
Now that I know my invisible enemy’s name, I can move on. Silence petty thoughts! Ponder only this mantra:
Om Nama Shivaya
Om Nama Shivaya
Om Nama Shivaya
ZZZzzzzzzzz……
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
1 August 05
Phone Farce
T-Netix is at it again. Numerous inmates have been without phone service since the move to Tucson. The official excuse is that T-Netix only has one service repair worker covering several state prisons.
Our phone calls start at $2+, yet T-Netix is too skimpy to hire enough people to provide us consistent service. It seems that the contract to shaft inmates enables T-Netix’s management to provide a lousy service.
Being incommunicado was stressful when London was bombed, as my sister is a London resident. Fortunately she was OK.
Emails Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post a comment below:
Phone Farce
T-Netix is at it again. Numerous inmates have been without phone service since the move to Tucson. The official excuse is that T-Netix only has one service repair worker covering several state prisons.
Our phone calls start at $2+, yet T-Netix is too skimpy to hire enough people to provide us consistent service. It seems that the contract to shaft inmates enables T-Netix’s management to provide a lousy service.
Being incommunicado was stressful when London was bombed, as my sister is a London resident. Fortunately she was OK.
Emails Jon at writeinside@hotmail.com or post a comment below:
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
28 July 05
Bridge blogs give voice to the marginalised
Irish Times Online article by Quinn Norton
Blogging - posting personal commentary to a web page - is different around the world. For some, it's in a non-native language or several languages. Others blog when they get to cybercafes, or when the electricity is on, in places where such things aren't a given. Some use anonymous services to keep safe or avoid prosecution. Shaun Attwood has a particular difficulty blogging. Although he's in the middle of the United States, he writes paper letters to be posted on a blog he's never seen. These are bridge blogs - blogs that give different cultures a new medium of communication.
This concept of a blog that connects two worlds largely started with Salam Pax's "Where is Raed?". In 2003, this Baghdad blog offered something new in a war zone - a day-to-day account of civilian life and opinion. Readers were riveted and, in the politically charged climate leading up to the Iraqi war, many people came to trust Pax's blog exclusively. Since then, blogs from the edge of human life have blossomed. The number and range of these blogs is daunting even for the most enthusiastic internationalist. Ethan Zuckerman, founder of Geekcorps (an IT-focused volunteer aid organisation) and a fellow at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University, was as enthusiastic as they come. He followed many of these blogs, but with a lack of media attention and growing body of publications, he felt that a central clearing house was needed. Together with fellow academic and former journalist Rebecca MacKinnon, Zuckerman founded Global Voices (http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/globalvoices/) to address the problem.Global Voices is an online hub for international bloggers. It provides an aggregator, collecting together blogs from other sites, as well as a blog of its own, featuring roundups of reactions to international news and issues and profiles of the bloggers. The aggregator covers English-language blogs from most of the nations of the world, representing a huge cross section of cultural regions. Now, if you really want to know what the locals think, you know where to look.
At the conference that spawned Global Voices, blogger Hossein Derakhshan defined three metaphors for global blogs: "windows", which give you a glimpse of life in another culture; "cafes", which allow members of a culture to interact although geographically disparate; and "bridges", which allow online interaction between cultures where little or none existed before. It is this last type, bridge blogs, on which Global Voices focuses. Many bridge blogs start with a cause.
The most unusual and somewhat shocking bridge blog is http://jonsjailjournal.blogspot.com/. It's the blog of Attwood, a British stockbroker convicted of drug and money-laundering charges associated with raves in Phoenix, Arizona. Attwood has been imprisoned for three years, two of which have been spent in one of the most notorious prisons in a country already notorious for a huge and inhumane prison system. Attwood began writing letters to his parents from jail, describing in plain terms the conditions under Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's regime. Shocked and concerned for their son's life, Derick and Barbara Attwood took a cue from Pax, the famous blogger in Iraq, and started posting the letters to a blog. At first they kept the blog anonymous, fearing retribution."We wanted people to know what was going on inside. Several people have died in restraints and we wanted to get the conditions exposed," says Derick. Jon's Jail Journal did attract press attention: it was used as a resource for a campaign against Arpaio. Although Arpaio was re-elected, Attwood was relocated and eventually the jail was closed."We don't know if Shaun's blog had anything to do with that," says his father, "but it would be nice to think it did." The blog has connected Attwood with family and the world in general. "Having your son arrested and put in prison, it's been terrible - but it's strengthened us as a family. Shaun gets through it with his writing." Feedback has been almost universally supportive and readers regularly send Attwood books and publications. Recently, he thanked "Barry in Tonopah for the subscription to the Investors Business Daily, the arrival of which is now the high point of our day". Attwood writes about other inmates with their permission, and many of them are thrilled to be seen by the outside world, receiving correspondence from Attwood's readership. Of the evolving nature of the blog, his father says: "It's his lifeline really. He gets printouts back. The other inmates get copies as well and they're quite pleased. It's a link, not just for him to the outside world, but for his inmate friends as well; a lifeline to the outside world."
Perhaps more than anything, that lifeline describes the motivation of the bridge bloggers. "I think what it really has to do with is being listened to," says Zuckerman. He notes that, for many African bloggers, it's a way of correcting media perceptions as well. A lot of bloggers in Africa and the Middle East don't like the way they are presented in the media. "These people are saying 'please don't presume to speak for me'." Prior to the web, there wasn't an obvious way for these figures to speak for themselves: war victims, citizens of developing countries, prisoners in desert town jails. And when they did, their words were re-interpreted by the media who covered them. But as Attwood's lifeline, and countless other voices - from an African feminist's Black Looks blog, to the daily life of an aid worker in Somaliland show - there's more to say in these edge worlds than the news is willing or able to pass along. "We have a fascinating backdoor open with blogs... it really is diverse and complicated," according to Zuckerman. And sometimes, perhaps, it can be a little too much. It's not always easy to be the blogging proxy of your son in jail. "Sometimes it's more than a parent wants to know," Attwood's father says, "but we'd rather he was like that. We want him to tell us everything."
Quinn, thank you for the article about global bridge blogs, which included a focus on my journal.
You are right about the blog being a lifeline. The emotional fulfilment I obtain, from bringing computer users into the world of prison and from reading their feedback is beyond description.
It is my hope that increased public awareness of injustice to prisoners will lead to changes. It is thanks to reporters such as yourself that this important message is spreading.
Appreciatively yours,
Jon
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below:
Bridge blogs give voice to the marginalised
Irish Times Online article by Quinn Norton
Blogging - posting personal commentary to a web page - is different around the world. For some, it's in a non-native language or several languages. Others blog when they get to cybercafes, or when the electricity is on, in places where such things aren't a given. Some use anonymous services to keep safe or avoid prosecution. Shaun Attwood has a particular difficulty blogging. Although he's in the middle of the United States, he writes paper letters to be posted on a blog he's never seen. These are bridge blogs - blogs that give different cultures a new medium of communication.
This concept of a blog that connects two worlds largely started with Salam Pax's "Where is Raed?". In 2003, this Baghdad blog offered something new in a war zone - a day-to-day account of civilian life and opinion. Readers were riveted and, in the politically charged climate leading up to the Iraqi war, many people came to trust Pax's blog exclusively. Since then, blogs from the edge of human life have blossomed. The number and range of these blogs is daunting even for the most enthusiastic internationalist. Ethan Zuckerman, founder of Geekcorps (an IT-focused volunteer aid organisation) and a fellow at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University, was as enthusiastic as they come. He followed many of these blogs, but with a lack of media attention and growing body of publications, he felt that a central clearing house was needed. Together with fellow academic and former journalist Rebecca MacKinnon, Zuckerman founded Global Voices (http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/globalvoices/) to address the problem.Global Voices is an online hub for international bloggers. It provides an aggregator, collecting together blogs from other sites, as well as a blog of its own, featuring roundups of reactions to international news and issues and profiles of the bloggers. The aggregator covers English-language blogs from most of the nations of the world, representing a huge cross section of cultural regions. Now, if you really want to know what the locals think, you know where to look.
At the conference that spawned Global Voices, blogger Hossein Derakhshan defined three metaphors for global blogs: "windows", which give you a glimpse of life in another culture; "cafes", which allow members of a culture to interact although geographically disparate; and "bridges", which allow online interaction between cultures where little or none existed before. It is this last type, bridge blogs, on which Global Voices focuses. Many bridge blogs start with a cause.
The most unusual and somewhat shocking bridge blog is http://jonsjailjournal.blogspot.com/. It's the blog of Attwood, a British stockbroker convicted of drug and money-laundering charges associated with raves in Phoenix, Arizona. Attwood has been imprisoned for three years, two of which have been spent in one of the most notorious prisons in a country already notorious for a huge and inhumane prison system. Attwood began writing letters to his parents from jail, describing in plain terms the conditions under Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's regime. Shocked and concerned for their son's life, Derick and Barbara Attwood took a cue from Pax, the famous blogger in Iraq, and started posting the letters to a blog. At first they kept the blog anonymous, fearing retribution."We wanted people to know what was going on inside. Several people have died in restraints and we wanted to get the conditions exposed," says Derick. Jon's Jail Journal did attract press attention: it was used as a resource for a campaign against Arpaio. Although Arpaio was re-elected, Attwood was relocated and eventually the jail was closed."We don't know if Shaun's blog had anything to do with that," says his father, "but it would be nice to think it did." The blog has connected Attwood with family and the world in general. "Having your son arrested and put in prison, it's been terrible - but it's strengthened us as a family. Shaun gets through it with his writing." Feedback has been almost universally supportive and readers regularly send Attwood books and publications. Recently, he thanked "Barry in Tonopah for the subscription to the Investors Business Daily, the arrival of which is now the high point of our day". Attwood writes about other inmates with their permission, and many of them are thrilled to be seen by the outside world, receiving correspondence from Attwood's readership. Of the evolving nature of the blog, his father says: "It's his lifeline really. He gets printouts back. The other inmates get copies as well and they're quite pleased. It's a link, not just for him to the outside world, but for his inmate friends as well; a lifeline to the outside world."
Perhaps more than anything, that lifeline describes the motivation of the bridge bloggers. "I think what it really has to do with is being listened to," says Zuckerman. He notes that, for many African bloggers, it's a way of correcting media perceptions as well. A lot of bloggers in Africa and the Middle East don't like the way they are presented in the media. "These people are saying 'please don't presume to speak for me'." Prior to the web, there wasn't an obvious way for these figures to speak for themselves: war victims, citizens of developing countries, prisoners in desert town jails. And when they did, their words were re-interpreted by the media who covered them. But as Attwood's lifeline, and countless other voices - from an African feminist's Black Looks blog, to the daily life of an aid worker in Somaliland show - there's more to say in these edge worlds than the news is willing or able to pass along. "We have a fascinating backdoor open with blogs... it really is diverse and complicated," according to Zuckerman. And sometimes, perhaps, it can be a little too much. It's not always easy to be the blogging proxy of your son in jail. "Sometimes it's more than a parent wants to know," Attwood's father says, "but we'd rather he was like that. We want him to tell us everything."
Quinn, thank you for the article about global bridge blogs, which included a focus on my journal.
You are right about the blog being a lifeline. The emotional fulfilment I obtain, from bringing computer users into the world of prison and from reading their feedback is beyond description.
It is my hope that increased public awareness of injustice to prisoners will lead to changes. It is thanks to reporters such as yourself that this important message is spreading.
Appreciatively yours,
Jon
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below:
25 July 05
Chess With Frankie
During rec (which alternates between two hours one day and four hours the next) I have been playing chess with Frankie. For the first three days the scores were 2-1 to him, 3 –1 to me, and 4 – 3 to him. Then he thrashed me consistently for almost two weeks. More recently, I’ve begun to beat him.
Early in the game, Frankie likes to move his kingside bishop in order to menace my left flank. I’ve managed to block this tactic by running my queenside pawns up against his bishop, thus preventing his bishop from attacking my king-side, whilst hemming in his left flank.
Dealing with Frankie’s body language is difficult. Mostly, he maintains a penetrating squint, as if he were in a duel. Occasionally, he puts on a homoerotic look, and says things like:
“Englandman, you wanna jump in the shower with me later on. There’s plenty of room for two. I’ll scrub your back, and its okay if you drop the soap. I’ll take good care of you, Englandman.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Chess With Frankie
During rec (which alternates between two hours one day and four hours the next) I have been playing chess with Frankie. For the first three days the scores were 2-1 to him, 3 –1 to me, and 4 – 3 to him. Then he thrashed me consistently for almost two weeks. More recently, I’ve begun to beat him.
Early in the game, Frankie likes to move his kingside bishop in order to menace my left flank. I’ve managed to block this tactic by running my queenside pawns up against his bishop, thus preventing his bishop from attacking my king-side, whilst hemming in his left flank.
Dealing with Frankie’s body language is difficult. Mostly, he maintains a penetrating squint, as if he were in a duel. Occasionally, he puts on a homoerotic look, and says things like:
“Englandman, you wanna jump in the shower with me later on. There’s plenty of room for two. I’ll scrub your back, and its okay if you drop the soap. I’ll take good care of you, Englandman.”
Email comments to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below
Copyright © 2004-2005 Shaun P. Attwood
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
